Programming jokes

[nitneylion452]

Anyone know of any good programming jokes?

One I came up with is: Before I start writing any code, I think "what would Al Gore do?" So then I write an algorithm.

Any others? Lay em on me!

[wireties]

"C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot. C++ makes it
harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg."

- Bjarne Stroustrup

[Wayne Doenges]

How many programmers does it take to screw in an LED light bulb?
None, it's a hardward problem.

[Taylor]

What's the programmer's #1 justification for wasting time on Chief Delphi?

"Code's Compiling."

[KeatonM]

What's an FRC programmer's favorite breakfast food?

Crios.

[RoboDesigners]

http://www.chiefdelphi.com/forums/showthread.php?t=55817&highlight=Programming+jokes

:)

(It's locked, but has some funny ones if you're interested...)

[Jim Meyer]

There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't.

[Phalanx]

A program is never done, until the programmer dies.

[plnyyanks]

What's the programmer's #1 justification for wasting time on Chief Delphi?

"Code's Compiling."

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/compiling.png (http://xkcd.com/303/)

and I'm sure any xkcd comic fits into this thread pretty well...

[mathgeek0001]

Programmer1: You know what's a good a programming joke?
Programmer2: You.

[junefish]

How is a programmer like a hairdresser?

You tell them what you want, and they give you what they think you would have wanted if you knew what the heck you were talking about.

[RoboDesigners]

There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
There are 10 types of people in this world: Those who know binary, those who don't, and those who confuse it with ternary.

All bases are base 10.

[nitneylion452]

There are 10 types of people in this world: Those who know binary, those who don't, and those who confuse it with ternary.

All bases are base 10.

Could you explain this?

[plnyyanks]

Could you explain this?

10 (ternary) = 3 (decimal)

[LemmingBot]

Java: write once, run no where.

[nitneylion452]

“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
very long pause….
“Java.”

[joe5joe7]

Safety adviser: "Programmer, you need to wear safety glasses when you're working on the robot!"

Me: *waves hand* "Oh it's all right, I'm wearing safety contacts"

[Nikkocharger]

Is your robot over weight....
Yes...
Well take some code out...

[RoboDesigners]

Could you explain this?
Sorry... Dropped off my radar. plnyyanks basically covered it... :)

Another one I think I may have seen in someone's sig:

float getRandom(){
return 3;
}

[plnyyanks]

Another one I think I may have seen in someone's sig:

float getRandom(){
return 3;
}

...but I thought that RFC 1149.5 specifies 4 as the standard IEEE-vetted random number (http://xkcd.com/221/).

[nitneylion452]

The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance