Any good FIRST jokes?

[Briansmithtown]

I was thinking if anyone has any funny, CLEAN, FIRST Jokes... one I saw was one of those valentines day eCards that said "You come FIRST in my heart" and it had Dean Kamen on it.

[Andrew Schreiber]

Lunacy?

[Briansmithtown]

Lunacy?



Lol!

[Woolly]

Lunacy?

I believe you misinterpreted the meaning of good FIRST jokes. :p

[Caleb Sykes]

[At Einstein's house]

Knock knock.

Who's there.

Mecanum wheeled robot.

Einstein walks away.

[Andrew Schreiber]

I believe you misinterpreted the meaning of good FIRST jokes. :p

Idk, we all played along...

[Jakenan]

What did the scouts say about the rookie team?

They can't be truss'ed.
(I'm a sucker for a bad pun)

[themccannman]

What is the engineering mentor's favorite museum?

The museum of tolerance.

[Max Boord]

FIRST world problems

[dodar]

Mecanum is the most GP drivetrain in FIRST. It lets you decide where it goes.

[pabeekm]

FIRST world problems

I want robotics season to be over so I can finally take a break... but we're going to worlds.

FIRST Worlds problems.

[Christopher149]

Last week of classes is next week... but I'm attending worlds
... at least it isn't finals week like it usually is
#FIRSTWorldProblems

What drive train will the first New Zealand team have? A kiwi-bot.

Tries to ship robot out for St. Louis today. Almost doesn't make it because of snow day. < This is serious, though.

[Briansmithtown]

(Working hard on robot, calling for us to get que'd, potential scouters come)

"May we help you?"

"Ummmm Do you have any buttons? :)"

[MooreteP]

Mecanum is the most GP drivetrain in FIRST. It lets you decide where it goes.

Mecanum's are Emily Post polite, everybody else goes first.

[Taylor]

On our team is a golf club, telephone receptionist, John Calipari, and Yo-Yo Ma. They're our drive team.

I tried to play a prank on 1714, but they saw right through it.

I would do a 254 pun, but that'd be just too cheesy.

[E Dawg]

Game hints :p

[DumbFIRSTJoke]

http://i.imgur.com/LaZ8wNA.jpg

[TedG]

............
You know what they call the graduate with the lowest GPA in med school? Doctor.

You know what they call the fourth robot in the alliance that wins Einstein? Champion.

[cmrnpizzo14]

Did you hear the one where 2056 lost?

No?

Me either.

[Pratik Kunapuli]

Mecanum is the most GP drivetrain in FIRST. It lets you decide where it goes.

Mecanum is so GP you let other robots drive your robot.

[PayneTrain]

http://i.imgur.com/LaZ8wNA.jpg

If there was ever a time to say /thread, it would be here.

[JamesCH95]

https://warosu.org/data/cgl/img/0073/36/1391313550073.jpg

[Tucker]

"What time is it?" - Anybody asking the time
"Four eighty-eight" - Team Xbot's number

[Wayne Doenges]

Three robots drive into a bar, the forth had a better driver.

[Pi3th0n]

From last year's game:

[Briansmithtown]

Ill take the high goal and you can take the low goal....

[Ernst]

Ill take the high goal and you can take the low goal....

Oh, ye'll take the high goal and I'll take the low goal
and I'll be on Einstein afooooooore ye
For me and my robot will always get assists
On the bonnie, bonnie fields of St. Louis

[Flimsor]

"What time is it?" - Anybody asking the time
"Four eighty-eight" - Team Xbot's number

All the time. I've said it to a few people outside of FIRST just because it becomes my default reaction during competition season and had to explain everything.

[TedG]

Three robots drive into a bar, the forth had a better driver.
[rimshot!]

nice!

[PVCpirate]

http://i.imgur.com/LaZ8wNA.jpg

You win sir/madam. You win in a landslide.

[safiq10]

At FTC competition:
Scout: So does your team lift?
US: Ohh ya we all lift? I think 135 Lbs is all our minimum.... Ohh and the robot lifts too.

I always got at least a smile from this!

[Briansmithtown]

(other team drivers) "yea our robot can shoot across the field, over truss, and into the high goal..." (us) "Ok so you play offense, but if you can't do it, we are taking over..." (other team) "ok"! (during match) (us) "looks like we are playing offensive".

[Wayne Doenges]

This is an actual event.
I'm wearing my Robot Inspector hat and two girls come up to me.
One asks "May I ask you a question?
Me "You just did."
Girl "May I ask you another question?"
Me "You just did."

The mentor behind them is having a laughing fit.

[safiq10]

This is an actual event.
I'm wearing my Robot Inspector hat and two girls come up to me.
One asks "May I ask you a question?
Me "You just did."
Girl "May I ask you another question?"
Me "You just did."

The mentor behind them is having a laughing fit.

OMG!!! I wish I was there to see this!!!

[tsaksa]

Two robots drive into a bar with a spare battery and a set of jumper cables. The bartender looks at them and says, "OK, you can stay, but just don't start anything".

[Briansmithtown]

The Canadian teams walk into a Regional… "we'll we might still win chairmans, engineering inspiration, woodie flowers, deans list, and rookie all star!"

[alexander.h]

Three programmers walk into Google HQ :

The first is a French programmer who codes in Java.
The second is a British programmer who codes in C.
The third is a Russian programmer who codes in Labview

In order for them to understand each other, a translator is called upon to translate everything into a language all 3 can understand : profanity.

[tsaksa]

A member of 2642 walks over to another teams pit with a paper towel on their head. Someone asks about the paper towel and they reply. "Arrrrrr... there's a bounty on me head!"


Two robotics team members meet in an elevator and one asks the other "What team are you are on?"
The second student replies, " 20..........................................46".
The first student then asks "Why the big pause?"
And the second replies, I don't know, I guess we were born with them.


A reporter stopped three random students outside the Edward Jones dome and asks, "Are you all here for Championships?"
"I don't know," says the first student.
"I don't know," says the second student.
"Yes!" says the third one.


An infinite number of robotics students walk up to a snack bar. The first one says, "I'll have a glass of root beer." The second one says, "I'll have a half glass of root beer", the third one says, "I'll have a quarter of a glass of root beer". With that, the attendant says "cut it out you wize guys", and pours two glasses of root beer.

[dubiousSwain]

http://i.imgur.com/LaZ8wNA.jpg

You win.

[Mitchell1714]

On our team is a golf club, telephone receptionist, John Calipari, and Yo-Yo Ma. They're our drive team.

I tried to play a prank on 1714, but they saw right through it.


You should have put some MORE effort into that one. Many people could have clearly done better.

[dodar]

You should have put some MORE effort into that one. Many people could have clearly done better.

Come on man, be a little flexible with him.

[Briansmithtown]

Here's a new joke

Ariel assist

[Briansmithtown]

I'm replacing fence in my backyard, and I get them in lowes. When I'm walking through lowes, I have to resist yelling out "robot!" When people are in my way!

[Flimsor]

I made this a few months ago.

https://photos-3.dropbox.com/t/0/AAD0LgMbxifXRhWh0VW20Tk3LboAa4a6zzOjF4XJLGbuXQ/12/165164629/jpeg/1024x768/3/1397941200/0/2/Truss%20Fall%20%28Smaller%29.bmp/N34g2aDHdZWVPaQrgdnkvJeNzLr8ET9f04JF9JaIJsE

[Briansmithtown]

I made this a few months ago.

https://photos-3.dropbox.com/t/0/AAD0LgMbxifXRhWh0VW20Tk3LboAa4a6zzOjF4XJLGbuXQ/12/165164629/jpeg/1024x768/3/1397941200/0/2/Truss%20Fall%20%28Smaller%29.bmp/N34g2aDHdZWVPaQrgdnkvJeNzLr8ET9f04JF9JaIJsE

I didn't know… any good jokes on yours?

[Flimsor]

I didn't know… any good jokes on yours?

No. I didn't get any jokes at all from what I remember. So far this thread's had more success. By the way, I just meant to add to yours.

[ratdude747]

Here's a couple that probably stink:


I don't like broken transmissions. It just grinds my gears.

Why do some people say previous games are child's play? Because you could use Fischer Price motors.

[Briansmithtown]

Here's a couple that probably stink:


I don't like broken transmissions. It just grinds my gears.

Why do some people say previous games are child's play? Because you could use Fischer Price motors.

Those ar pretty good

[tsaksa]

The robot inspector says "Sorry, but faster than light particles are not allowed on FRC Robots."
A robot with tachyon drive arrives at the robot inspection station.

[JohnFogarty]

If I've heard this joke once this season about vacuum bots during awards I've heard it 6 times.

Team XXXX has come up with a robot this year that really sucks.

If you didn't know Billfred is the king of puns. I can't even begin to describe how many we hear every day.

[Libby K]

Here's a new joke

Ariel assist

https://24.media.tumblr.com/06b15c8d74ef7f3fc9ee726a3085206c/tumblr_myxmonDqXo1t0xyebo1_500.gif

Ariel is unamused.

[tsaksa]

A robot using room temperature superconductors is brought over for inspection, but the inspector is not sure if superconductors are allowed.

The robot leaves without resistance.

[EricH]

The classic one:

Team sends unsuspecting freshman to Pit Admin to ask if someone has a tool. Tools for this particular joke include:
--Left-handed (any tool here)
--Metric crescent wrench
--Non-ferrous magnet
--FLUX Capacitor
--Aluminum PVC
--any random item that seems to fit (including an announcement of having just lost the game--Ooops, BTW, I just lost the game)


For this year, several people have accidentally (and truthfully) called it "Aerial Assault" due to the heavy defense.

[Jay O'Donnell]

One that happened this year when being inspected:
Inspector: "Do you have anything illegal on your robot?"
Team member: "Just the pot"
Luckily the inspector got the joke.

[tsaksa]

Our team is willing to provide a few neutrinos to any team that needs them. There is no charge.

[Flimsor]

The classic one:

Team sends unsuspecting freshman to Pit Admin to ask if someone has a tool. Tools for this particular joke include:
--Left-handed (any tool here)
--Metric crescent wrench
--Non-ferrous magnet
--FLUX Capacitor
--Aluminum PVC
--any random item that seems to fit (including an announcement of having just lost the game--Ooops, BTW, I just lost the game)


For this year, several people have accidentally (and truthfully) called it "Aerial Assault" due to the heavy defense.

This year somone on our team requested additional pylons at the Eastern Washington University District Event. A few years back someone asked for a flux capacitor and we handed them a ball of wires held together with duct tape. We then asked for an angle trisector and received four pieces of plywood held together with a bolt.

[alexis tuggle]

http://www.chiefdelphi.com/media/img/147/14730630c144fb4b30149ed510548b49_l.jpg

[Shadowfl]

FIRST of all, do puns count? If they do then I'll ASSIST the thread with some puns I TRUSS that you all will CATCH on to them Else I'll make a programming joke within;

OK down to some moderately cheesy jokes:

What do you call a tie match that will be decided on who makes the truss?
A TOSS UP

Wanna hear a joke about assisting?
I'll pass

First never really took off until Dean Kamen

Wanna hear a joke about motors?
as long as its CIM-ple

pshhhhhhhhhhhhhh pneumatics

[Richie_Richter]

PIT ADMIN: Team xxxx is in need of a pneumatic programming wrench.
My team just started laughing.

[Briansmithtown]

http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/500x/44437885.jpg





Another one:

(Billy Joel) Its always been a matter of truss!

[carlgrass32]

Lunacy?

Lunacy was awesome!

[carlgrass32]

(Working hard on robot, calling for us to get que'd, potential scouters come)

"May we help you?"

"Ummmm Do you have any buttons? :)"

LOL

[LittleRed]

Lunacy was awesome!

Can't tell if being serious... Or if this is supposed to be a joke... :ahh:

[tsaksa]

Team 840 receives an unexpected award at a competition.
They do not react.

[TedG]

The classic one:

Team sends unsuspecting freshman to Pit Admin to ask if someone has a tool. Tools for this particular joke include:
--Left-handed (any tool here)
--Metric crescent wrench
--Non-ferrous magnet
--FLUX Capacitor
--Aluminum PVC
--any random item that seems to fit (including an announcement of having just lost the game--Ooops, BTW, I just lost the game)


For this year, several people have accidentally (and truthfully) called it "Aerial Assault" due to the heavy defense.
LOL,
Even more:
-- Keys to the robot
-- 6 feet of goal line
-- The can of Jaguar fluid
-- Lexiglass (that's for you Emily)

[JamesCH95]

The classic one:

Team sends unsuspecting freshman to Pit Admin to ask if someone has a tool. Tools for this particular joke include:
--Left-handed (any tool here)
--Metric crescent wrench
--Non-ferrous magnet
--FLUX Capacitor
--Aluminum PVC
--any random item that seems to fit (including an announcement of having just lost the game--Ooops, BTW, I just lost the game)


For this year, several people have accidentally (and truthfully) called it "Aerial Assault" due to the heavy defense.

This year somone on our team requested additional pylons at the Eastern Washington University District Event. A few years back someone asked for a flux capacitor and we handed them a ball of wires held together with duct tape. We then asked for an angle trisector and received four pieces of plywood held together with a bolt.

LOL,
Even more:
-- Keys to the robot
-- 6 feet of goal line
-- The can of Jaguar fluid
-- Lexiglass (that's for you Emily)

There are many other threads for stuff like this: http://www.chiefdelphi.com/forums/showthread.php?t=84696

[vladtheimpaled]

(other team drivers) "yea our robot can shoot across the field, over truss, and into the high goal..." (us) "Ok so you play offense, but if you can't do it, we are taking over..." (other team) "ok"! (during match) (us) "looks like we are playing offensive".

don't forget when one tips over and the other gets deactivated but we only lose by 21

[vladtheimpaled]

two robots drive into a bar. the other had a good driver

[The Doctor]

two robots drive into a bar. the other had a good driver

Three robots drive into a bar, the forth had a better driver.

Umm...

[E Dawg]

Umm...

Four robots drive into a bar, the fifth had the best driver.

[alexander.h]

Four robots drive into a bar, the fifth one had the best driver.

And to finish it off ... five robots drive into a bar, the sixth one actually had a driver.

[Andrew Schreiber]

And to finish it off ... five robots drive into a bar, the sixth one actually had a driver.

3 Robots drove into the bar, the last one was shorter than 14" and went under it.

[Briansmithtown]

And to finish it off ... five robots drive into a bar, the sixth one actually had a driver.

Five robots drive into a bar... none are chose for eliminations

[theCADguy]

Truss me, we can catch!

[tsaksa]

A robot walks into a bar, and orders a drink.
the bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve robots."
And the robot says, "Not yet, but someday you will."


Q: "What does your robot do?
A: "It collects data about the surrounding environment, then discards it and drives into walls"


By the way, what exactly did you mean when you said "Robot Jokes?" For example, could you have meant this?
http://www.ted.com/talks/heather_knight_silicon_based_comedy#t-167036

[EricH]

3 Robots drove into the bar, the last one was shorter than 14" and went under it.

...and then proceeded to Attack the nearest Stack.






4 robots drove into a bar. They ended up stuck off the floor.

[Christopher149]

4 robots drove into a bar. They ended up stuck off the floor.

The fifth climbs higher, and the sixth keeps shooting cycles.

[vladtheimpaled]

How about when you ask Dean for an autograph at the NYC regional and he screams NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Then he's just like JK LOL.:)

[Briansmithtown]

Yeah... At NYC I asked Dean kamen for an autograph... serious face and all he yells "NO!" and a few seconds later he was like "ok" and took my drivers pin and commented on Libby Kamens autograph saying "Hmm i wonder who this is" Lol...

[vladtheimpaled]

that was hilarious

[vladtheimpaled]

How about the fact that I just got an NI Parkway request when we're not in the finals and I didn't sign up for it.

[Briansmithtown]

I saw this somewhere


"this is what happens when you let mechanical engineers deign a game!"

[BBray_T1296]

FIRST pickup lines from this video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQa97Hj6mHQ)

"Dang girl did the Cheesy Poofs build you, cuz you look perfect"
"The way you talk to those judges, you're my Engineering Inspiration"
"On a scale from 1 to 10, I'd rate you a 67"
"Like one of Dean Kamen's speeches, we could go all night long... making robots (what else would we do?)"
"I've been scouting you out, and I think we'd make great alliance partners"

[Briansmithtown]

Not everyone wins a regional... if your against a Canadian team, good luck!

[vladtheimpaled]

Does it mean I'm addicted if I have the urge to yell Robot in the middle of a crowded hallway?

[BabyUnicorn]

Why was the robot angry?
Because someone kept pushing his buttons

Where does a robot go on holiday?
Wireland

[Exla357]

Five robots drive into a bar

And then the autonomous period ends. And the sixth robot still doesn't do anything because it was programming's fault. :D

[Briansmithtown]

Something mechanical breaks "(programmers name) FIX THE CODE!"

[Zuelu562]

"How often do you have safety meetings?"
*blank stare*

[Briansmithtown]

I strongly believe the GDC was encouraged by Miley Cyrus for this years game…

[eitan55]

Well, since I haven't seen this anywhere else - sending one of the freshmen to find a 'wireless cable'...
We had one guy searching for 40 minutes, before someone took pity on him.

Also, as said by CAD teams everywhere, 'We'll be done by the end of the week'

[Briansmithtown]

Its not if kids or interested in the program, its if they can handle all the crazy kids in the program

[Briansmithtown]

Water game

[Briansmithtown]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BV8thPqCkQ4



This video is pretty funny

[thatgirlinred]

Do pickup lines count? I've got one!

Are you a gracious team with a highly ranked robot?
Because I'd pick you ;)

[mmcewen]

How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None - that's a hardware problem!

Also:
Pessimists see the glass as half empty.
Optimists see the glass as half full.
But engineers know that the glass is 2x larger than it needs to be.

[rponmalai]

The creativity award is sponsored by Xerox.
Xerox makes copiers

[Andrew Schreiber]

The creativity award is sponsored by Xerox.
Xerox makes copiers

Look into the history of Xerox. Specifically PARC. You'll understand why it's fitting.

[tsaksa]

Be wary of dyslexic robots. They usually have at least one bad trap.

Several fonts walk into the snack bar at Championships. The server says "Get out of here, We don't serve your type here."

Did you hear about the new e-reader? Reader’s Digest and 
Amazon created software that will condense books when you download them. It’s called the Dwindle.

A judge walks into a teams pit area and asks a student what technology has done for them. The student answers, "Technology has certainly simplified and shortened my life."

[Briansmithtown]

Robotics kids can party… when its like 11:30 at night, and there's music involved, we start becoming crazy

[GKrotkov]

How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None - that's a hardware problem!


Please, any well-written Lightbulb class would have an "off" method.

[tsaksa]

Did you hear the one about the field management system that got married to a DAP-1522 Wireless bridge? The wedding was just so so. But the reception was great.

[delsaner]

Our robot is overweight, I guess we will have to take out our autonomous.

[Briansmithtown]

Programmer says autonomous will work 100% perfectly... robot slams into wall, and ball is shot out of the field

[EricH]

Programmer says autonomous will work 100% perfectly...
... Great way to clear the room of all mechanicals and all but the boldest electricals...

...who will all emerge from hiding to laugh when the autonomous fails.

[The Doctor]

Two FRC robots drive into Sparkfun. The Arduino-powered kegerator says, "We don't serve glorified R/C cars here."

[tsaksa]

All of our students got in trouble at the competition. The resisted a rest.

Our robot has not yet returned for the competition. It must be standing out somewhere in the crate. So if anyone asks, tell them our robot is out standing.

Did you know that NASA recently discovered that earth makes fun of other planets for having no life.

I considered volunteering to help clean up after the closing ceremonies in St Louis, but there was too much paperwork.

Our team has several old batteries to get rid of after the season if anyone has a use for them. They are free of charge.

I love pressing F5. It's so refreshing.

I had a joke about our robot, but it needs work.

[E Dawg]

All of our students got in trouble at the competition. The resisted a rest.

Our robot has not yet returned for the competition. It must be standing out somewhere in the crate. So if anyone asks, tell them our robot is out standing.

Did you know that NASA recently discovered that earth makes fun of other planets for having no life.

I considered volunteering to help clean up after the closing ceremonies in St Louis, but there was too much paperwork.

Our team has several old batteries to get rid of after the season if anyone has a use for them. They are free of charge.

I love pressing F5. It's so refreshing.

I had a joke about our robot, but it needs work.

Robot puns are robot.

[Briansmithtown]

I was judging for an FLL competition, and the fire alarms went off... there was snow on the ground, around 8-9 in the morning, and we were just about ready for our first group of kids... I still don't understand how these kids had all that energy...

[tsaksa]

This year's game was really rough. I saw one robot lose its entire left side in one competition. It's all right now.

Be careful in St Louis. I understand they had a kidnapping. Fortunately he woke up before he missed any important matches.

Our team is considering having a bird as their mascot. The Vel-Crow.

Some of teams were trying to catch up on homework on their flights back from worlds. That is one way for FIRST to promote higher education.

I had a few jokes about the illness and germs at some of the competitions, but I don't want to spread them around.

I dreamt that we finally had a water game. It was quite an oar deal.

There were several sick robots at this years game. They could not stop throwing up.

[Harman341]

It'll work, I did the math ::ouch::

[Munchskull]

At the Andymark booth at championships you got a pair of safty glasses if you told a good joke. I was told that I won with this joke: Lunacy.

[Pault]

At the Andymark booth at championships you got a pair of safty glasses if you told a good joke. I was told that I won with this joke: Lunacy.

I thought they wanted a good joke.

[Briansmithtown]

I thought they wanted a good joke.

Just like we wanted a good game

[Briansmithtown]

We tried to get clear aluminum, but it was on back order. They said it would be until 2231

[Shrub]

Our team got sponsored by a company that works with plutonium. It's safe to say our bot is out of this world.

[tsaksa]

The Robodawgs are a great team that does not get enough respect. I hear people say they are two gross.

Old robots never die. They just lose their functions.

Or team does not like negative numbers. We will stop at nothing to avoid them.

Some students do not get things right away. As a Mentor it sometimes feels like if I have told them N times, I've told them N+1 times.

Why did the robot cross the mobius strip? To get to the same side.

[Briansmithtown]

I saw this in another post, and this has to be a joke http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/06/war-on-science_n_5269527.html

[Shrub]

I saw this in another post, and this has to be a joke http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/06/war-on-science_n_5269527.html

I'm pretty sure that's real. :0 HuffPost is pretty reliable.

[Canon reeves]

I saw this in another post, and this has to be a joke http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/06/war-on-science_n_5269527.html

that is a lot of stuff to write for a joke? It's common knowledge a joke never exceeds a 2.5 paragraphs?

[tsaksa]

Did anyone go to the City Museum while in St Louis? I did, and I saw one student point to a small waterfall and ask one of attendants what the water in that waterfall was made out of. The clever attendant said "two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen". With that the student said, "Yeah, I though it wasn't real".

[Briansmithtown]

Our team loves pranking our Advisor. Today, we put a red table cover on the back of his car. We took a picture, and he was in a funny posture.

[keburnha]

So I was at Nationals and I saw some good Texas and Mexico team friends and so I made this compilation of wearing their gear as a joke as an undercover agent from FRC Team 1817, The RoboRaiders. I'm not too sure if it should go here, but I think Chief Delphi is ready for it. Enjoy!

[Gweiss96]

Two FRC robots drive into Sparkfun. The Arduino-powered kegerator says, "We don't serve glorified R/C cars here."

It's funny because of your avatar.

[tsaksa]

Many students I have met will insist that nothing is better than FIRST robotics. And most people would agree that a ham sandwich is better than nothing. So does it logically follow that a ham sandwich is better than FIRST robotics?

[Mrcope9]

Get out of our zone you truss-passer.

[Briansmithtown]

I kamen like a wreaking ball!

[E Dawg]

Our head electronics guy went around with power pulls asking people which end was male and which end was female.:rolleyes:

[Brad Hanel]

I don't know the sociology behind it, but every year it seems we get more male wire connectors shipped to our team than female ones.

[vladtheimpaled]

I kamen like a wreaking ball!

You just ruined FIRST for me. Thanks Brian.:mad:

[BabyUnicorn]

Many students I have met will insist that nothing is better than FIRST robotics. And most people would agree that a ham sandwich is better than nothing. So does it logically follow that a ham sandwich is better than FIRST robotics?
GET BACK TO THE NOODLES AND MAKE ME A BUMPER
(Go make me a sandwich)
FIRST-ed

[Briansmithtown]

Best way to make a digital sidecar like brand new if it was completely fried:

Run it under water for 15 mins, then place in a tub of water in a freezer for 1 day.
Remove the ice block, and throw it out of a 5 story building into traffic.
Once you realize its broken completely, hit it with a hammer and grab a spare!

[SonOfMrFrishman]

I hate to be the one to drop the ball, but i'll pass on the Lunacy of coming up with a bad FIRST joke. I mean, i'd like to Aim High on Raising the Bar for you guys on these jokes. Now i'm going to kick this joke into Overdrive by stating that the Diabolical Dynamics of these jokes are completely horrendous. I probably should Breakaway from these shenanigans as soon as possible.

[TedG]

Dean Kamen walks into a bar...
Gets an idea for a new invention,
Designs the "Sling Shotz", a machine that turns impure water into beer.

[Briansmithtown]

http://www.chiefdelphi.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=17031&stc=1&d=1400383572


Team 810's drive train... Apparently we were still tasting lunch during this match

PT1

[Briansmithtown]

I don't know whats more controversial, team 118's robot from 2013, or "Bad" calls the reffs made...

[caboosev11]

One day, I was in yellowstone national park. One hike I was going to do was up a mountain. Shortly before I begin the hike I said
"This will be my ultimate ascent."

One day, while playing basketball, I threw the ball towards the net but it bounced off the backboard and said
"See how the rebound rumbled the backboard?"

One day, I was talking with engineering newbies. We were working too slowly, and so I say
"We must breakaway from the inefficiency."
None of them got it.

[Christopher149]

Do those belong in the jokes thread or the quotes thread? It's lunacy to think no one would get it; perhaps they just need an aerial assist to find out how great FIRST is.

[Briansmithtown]

Why does school have to get in the way of more important things like FIRST? When would we ever need to know about the stuff there teaching in here?

[Briansmithtown]

rather I'm on the brink of insanity, or I have a great idea!

[asid61]

... and then, at the end of the six weeks, Dean Kamen emerges from his man cave. If he sees his shadow, he gets tired and goes back to bed and we have one more week of build!







I hope.

[Briansmithtown]

... and then, at the end of the six weeks, Dean Kamen emerges from his man cave. If he sees his shadow, he gets tired and goes back to bed and we have one more week of build!







I hope.


Why cant north dumpling island produce enough energy to light up his bedroom!

[Arefin Bari]

I stole 1114's 2008 robot and saran wrapped Andy Baker's trailer. Do those count?

[techtiger1]

I'm pretty sure Karthik still secretly believes that's why they lost IRI that year.

[Briansmithtown]

wanna see your hole robot blow up in smoke? #roboRiomeetsmetalshavings

[BBray_T1296]

XKCD (http://xkcd.com/) Comic
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/first_design.png


The Eye of Axis is always targeting
http://s15.postimg.org/vuy9pyiuj/Eye_of_Axis.jpg

Another comic from somewhere
http://s30.postimg.org/c1apykmb5/Robotics.jpg

[dmaciel10123]

The classic one:

Team sends unsuspecting freshman to Pit Admin to ask if someone has a tool. Tools for this particular joke include:
--Left-handed (any tool here)
--Metric crescent wrench
--Non-ferrous magnet
--FLUX Capacitor
--Aluminum PVC
--any random item that seems to fit (including an announcement of having just lost the game--Ooops, BTW, I just lost the game)


For this year, several people have accidentally (and truthfully) called it "Aerial Assault" due to the heavy defense.
I asked a freshman to get me a "hydrodynamic spatula with port and starboard attachments and turbo drive" and a sonic screwdriver and she went looking for both.

[The Doctor]

"Excuse me, I'm looking for some spare parts."

"What kind?"

"Well... we need a new robot."

[BumperQueen]

PIT ADMIN: Team xxxx is in need of a pneumatic programming wrench.
My team just started laughing.

Our pneumatics guys decided to make a pneumatic programming wrench that actually does things.

[The other Gabe]

I want robotics season to be over so I can finally take a break... but we're going to worlds.

FIRST Worlds problems.

First world of FIRST problems

[Wayne Doenges]

While I was inspecting robots, at CMP, two girl students and their mentor approached me. Mentor was standing behind the girls.
Girt: "Can I ask you a question?"
Me: "You just did."
Girl: "Can I ask you another question?"
Me: "You just did."
I thought the mentor was going to have a heart atack from laughing so hard.

Another thing I like to do during inspections.
I'll ask the students if thay have an pneumatics on the robot. If they say no, I'll ask them if they have any old matics. Some get it, some don't.

[Briansmithtown]

Recycle Rush.

Best joke ever.

[The other Gabe]

I hate to be the one to drop the ball, but i'll pass on the Lunacy of coming up with a bad FIRST joke. I mean, i'd like to Aim High on Raising the Bar for you guys on these jokes. Now i'm going to kick this joke into Overdrive by stating that the Diabolical Dynamics of these jokes are completely horrendous. I probably should Breakaway from these shenanigans as soon as possible.

this is the Ultimate ascent of terrible FIRST puns

[EricH]

One I pulled on some folks on one of the teams this year:

"You know, your numbers aren't going to pass inspection. They're vertical."

The team in question happens to be one of the three remaining active single-digit teams, and at least one team member just started laughing.


I also, when checking for hazardous materials, would ask for stuff that is hazardous... but no high school would be expected to have around. Including a Mr. Fusion at one point.


As an inspector, the "best" (or not!) kind of inspection problem to find is if you're inspecting the team of any other inspector at the event. This goes double for any LRIs in the bunch.

[Briansmithtown]

The best joke was how the GDC was saying how the games will be like sports....then Recycle Rush.

[Wayne Doenges]

Last year at the St. Louis regional I told several teams that past game pieces could not be used on their robots. Some team used frisbees to hold the ball.
You should have seen their jaws drop.

[Matt C]

Not FIRST specific but did happen at a regional last year. 1468 put THIS in their robot prior to inspection.


(There may or may not have been cookies inside):D

[IronicDeadBird]

A few weeks ago I stood among team members as they were about to embark on a road trip to Utah for the regional. Everything they had done, everything they had work so hard for all for this moment. I couldn't help but be inspired. So I composed myself and gathered a few words and captured the attention of all who were present, just to share a little story in the hopes that I would inspire them to do their best. As they all looked to me in anticipation I cleared my voice and said...
"Here, is the story."
With all eyes on me questioning where I was going with this I continued.
"All about how, my life got flipped-turned upside down."
A smile here a grin there, some people knew where I was going with this monumental speech.
"I'd like to take a minute just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air"

[Anthony4939]

(Working hard on robot, calling for us to get que'd, potential scouters come)

"May we help you?"

"Ummmm Do you have any buttons? :)"

This is hilarious because it is TRUTH!

[Anthony4939]

New student on the team......asked him to go looking for a Johnson Rod.....he went around asking our mentor team where he could get one.

[Briansmithtown]

The best story from this year is how we scared Dean Kamen away from out pits in NYC. We were next to the bathroom, and Dean went into the bathroom... when he came out, a member of our team said "DEAN, LOOK AT MY, UHH, THINGY!:yikes: " Vlad made a simulation of this years game, but with the excitement, he couldn't get it out... Also doesn't help that I gave Mr. Kamen a roll of Denim Duck tape. He just said "You guys are nuts!" and left the convention center... it was hilarious.c

[Mammaloon]

What does Dean Kamen say when he wants to take a picture?

FIRST, let me take a selfie.

[Briansmithtown]

"what does your robot do, pete?
it collects data about the surrounding environment, then discards it and drives into walls"

[CadetGizmo]

Pretty sure that in 2015, the odds were STACKED against us.

[devg29]

The best joke was how the GDC was saying how the games will be like sports....then Recycle Rush.
PREACH

[Wayne Doenges]

As an inspector, the "best" (or not!) kind of inspection problem to find is if you're inspecting the team of any other inspector at the event. This goes double for any LRIs in the bunch.
At the Rebound Rumble I had the privilege of inspecting FRC Team 3940's robot. This is Andy Baker's team.
They were over weight @ 122 pounds.
When I told Andy the weight he said "Okay, what was it really" He didn't believe me.
They had steal plates for ballast so it wasn't hard to loose weight.

[EricH]

At the Rebound Rumble I had the privilege of inspecting FRC Team 3940's robot. This is Andy Baker's team.
They were over weight @ 122 pounds.
When I told Andy the weight he said "Okay, what was it really" He didn't believe me.
They had steal plates for ballast so it wasn't hard to loose weight.

Wasn't that also the year someone found purple air tanks on their robot? :p :p

Actually, at L.A. this year, it was the lockup form that the LRI's team was missing. I'm not saying where it was located to protect the (mostly) innocent...

[Briansmithtown]

I hope this years game wont be a joke.

[a2alexa]

Does it mean I'm addicted if I have the urge to yell Robot in the middle of a crowded hallway?

I did this in Walmart once. Needless to say the crowd of people I wound up pushing my way through with a shopping cart were not very amused.

[GreyingJay]

I did this in Walmart once. Needless to say the crowd of people I wound up pushing my way through with a shopping cart were not very amused.

Last year after a regional a bunch of teams went for dinner at the same restaurant. There was a crowd of people around the lobby waiting to be seated. Two employees were trying to get through, carrying a table, saying "excuse me" with little success. We told one, "say 'robot!' instead". She looked confused, but she looked even more confused when she tried it, and it actually worked!

[TheBoulderite]

What does Kanye West call Team 254?

The Yeezy Poofs.

[adpalonis19]

Ask PA for Pneumatic Fluid. :D

[GeeTwo]

[cracks knuckles]

The first has been posted elsewhere, but not here:

Two robots walk into a bar. The third was built for Stronghold and damages the defense in about 10 seconds.

************************************************** ********

When is a flashlight not a flashlight?
When it's a baguette or a leg of mutton.

************************************************** ********

When is a bumper-to-bumper collision a strategy aimed at the destruction or inhibition of a robot via attachment, damage, tipping, or entanglements?
Reply Hazy; try again later.

************************************************** ********

Where are the tower flags?
Beats me.

************************************************** ********

RoboRIO brownout: A design flaw masquerading as a feature which was successfully obscured for two years through a combination of non-existent defense and historically brutal field elements called defenses.

************************************************** ********

Boulder consistency. (the latest game piece in a long-running gag)

************************************************** ********

FIRST Stronghold: A game in which your enemy is not the opposing alliance so much as the field itself (ref. The Hunger Games).

************************************************** ********

[another shameless theft]

Natasha: How do you win FRC regional?
Boris: I use stragedy.
Natasha: You mean Strategy, dahlink.
Boris: No, what happen to Moose and Squirrel, 's tragedy.

************************************************** ********

When do you know you're drinking the FIRST kool-aid?
When you send one of your best controls people to help a rookie team with a non-functional robot and they seed better than you. Then the next year you get a chance to mentor two rookie teams, and entheusiastically embrace both opportunities. [true 3946 story]

Edit: OBTW, this year we were the top ranked team at Bayou not selected for an alliance (#18). Both of the teams we mentored were very close behind us and "on the spot". On several levels, even a prouder moment than when we went to CMP.

[EricH]

Where are the tower flags?
Beats me.
Me to someone--actually, multiple people at various points, IIRC:

That's TWO games those solenoids have ruined.

[backstory: the solenoids in the tower flags were apparently originally used for the hot goal reflective tape in Aerial Assist, where they weren't exactly up to the job. So rather than using servos... And the flags were the ref height reference for the camera poles.]


And another one: "We have standards." Or: "We have a standard." Depended on how many standards were in the robot barf box at that time.

[C.Lesco]

Our intake

[Munchskull]

Man, we really have a Low Bar for jokes this year.