View Full Version : Dating a Non-Geek
I surround myself with technology all day, everyday. I am now dating a non-geek girl (dont get me wrong, she is wicked awsome! ). Should I try to bring her into technology or just leave her the way she is?
:confused:
Ryan Dognaux
02-09-2002, 19:01
I guess it depends if she's even remotely interested in anything that deals with technology....:confused:
Erm, if you have to change her to like her, dump her.
Do the world a favor. Thanks.
NO I really like her. Its just that she isnt a geek
Originally posted by MattK
NO I really like her. Its just that she isnt a geek
I'm fairly certain you answered your own question.
Think, all of this could've been done without the ChiefDelphi forums involved at all. Wow.
FotoPlasma
02-09-2002, 20:06
My humble opinoin on the subject is that you should NOT try to make her into a geek. Your doing that will not help anyone at all, ever.
If you're happy, though, cool.
Katie Reynolds
02-09-2002, 20:23
First of all:
Geek
1. A person regarded as foolish, inept, or clumsy.
2. A person who is single-minded or accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits but is felt to be socially inept.
3. A carnival performer whose show consists of bizarre acts, such as biting the head off a live chicken.
Do you really want to be dating a girl who bites the heads off of live chickens?
Second - Like Michael said ... why would you want to change her? I know this one girl ... she was a drama/theatre person and she started dating someone from our team. He was the captain of the football team and our best machinist. We had a bad year in 2001, and he was thinking of not coming back. A big deciding factor in his not coming back to our team was this girl. She changed him into who she wanted him to be ... and she didn't want him on the team (there are huge discrepancies between the drama department and the tech ed department). Anyway - she turned him away from the team, and while she is happy with who he is, he is now void of personality. Not who he used to be. He pretty much stopped talking all together now... It's kind of sad.
So, no. You shouldn't change whoever this girl is. As a matter of fact, you should never change anyone. If they want to change, that's great. But don't do the changing for them.
- Katie
mtaman02
02-09-2002, 20:35
DO NOT change a person. If they want to change let them be the one to do it. Do not force them to change either.
So you want her to become a chicken decapitator, like you?
don't change her. if you want her to like computers, maybe introduce her to computers, but like they say, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. if she's not a techie, and she doesn't want to be, tough luck.
Melissa Nute
02-09-2002, 20:49
Originally posted by MBiddy
So you want her to become a chicken decapitator, like you?
for once...I actually agree with you...
D.J. Fluck
02-09-2002, 21:01
Changing someone is bad, changing yourself on the other hand can be a good thing....
OO I wish you guys would have known me as a freshman....im not the same person.
but there is a difference between forcing interests and overcomming fears. I used to be an anti-social quiet shy person and look at me now. I don't stop talking....
so take it from me, if this person doesnt want to be interested in all of this, dont try to make them, they will hate you in the long run
mtaman02
02-09-2002, 21:07
i second that motion, all the way. from being the quiet shy person to mr. talkative
FotoPlasma
02-09-2002, 21:09
Originally posted by D.J. Fluck
I used to be an anti-social quiet shy person and look at me now. I don't stop talking....
We really have a lot more in common than just being teenage, human males in America...
Chris Nowak
02-09-2002, 21:40
Definitely attempt to get her interested in technology. If she doesnt like it, no big deal. Forget it. One thing you dont have in common shouldnt screw you up. However, theres always the opportunity that she might. I mean, how did you get into technology in the first place? Probably it was through a friend or relative or some other connection. You should definitely not force the issue, obviously.
I see interest, her mom is a computer science major. I think she is just sick of it. I know there is potental.
Originally posted by D.J. Fluck
Changing someone is bad, changing yourself on the other hand can be a good thing....
but there is a difference between forcing interests and overcomming fears. I used to be an anti-social quiet shy person and look at me now. I don't stop talking....
Right. </sarcasm>
:)
People change in all sorts of ways. I have.
Erin Rapacki
03-09-2002, 08:55
Oh, where can I start...
Originally posted by MattK
or just leave her the way she is?
The way you worded this makes her sound like a piece of meat that might need more preparing. It is wrong, even if you don't mean it or catch yourself implying it, to think you have the right to change somebody, especially a girlfriend. If you two were meant to be the thought of changing her wouldn't even cross your mind.
On a lighter note: Think of WHY she likes to be with you. Is it because of your personality, your 'geekiness,' or is it something else? Once you figure out why she likes to be with you, you guys can grow on that.
I've learned from personal experience that it is a good thing to keep at least ONE thing that you love doing... to yourself. I understand that you might want to change her so you two have something to talk about, but you can still talk about it. If she asks and inquires a lot about the technological stuff you do, great! If she doesn't, don't take it as an omen... try something else that you two have in common. But if it bothers you that much... don't take her dignity and personality away by trying to change her, declare friendship instead and go for someone else.
So here's my point, go through the relationship day by day and enjoy your time spent together no matter what you two are doing. Do NOT come up with some ultimate plan to turn her into the perfect partner, because whether or not you succeed, you will be dissappointed. So try to understand... most of the time, people cherish other people mostly because they are different. Enjoy it, don't exploit it.
Originally posted by Katie Reynolds
First of all:
Geek
1. A person regarded as foolish, inept, or clumsy.
2. A person who is single-minded or accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits but is felt to be socially inept.
3. A carnival performer whose show consists of bizarre acts, such as biting the head off a live chicken.
- Katie
Dam there is the proof that I'm a geek.
FotoPlasma
03-09-2002, 10:53
Originally posted by wysiswyg
Dam there is the proof that I'm a geek.
Yeah, I'm with ya... Anyone got a mop or something? I'm not sure how to clean up all these chicken bodies...
:confused:
Yeah, I'm with ya... Anyone got a mop or something? I'm not sure how to clean up all these chicken bodies...
Notice how it said bizzare acts not just biting heads off of chickens.
Mmmm..... chicken....
On a college diet chicken heads sound good right about now... I wonder if KFC sells any...
Joe Matt
03-09-2002, 20:22
Wow. That's what I want to see, Mike and Fluck before! :D :rolleyes: ;)
DanLevin247
03-09-2002, 20:38
I am "dating" a "non-geek" in a sence, just depends on your "deffiniton" of "dating". I think you should be your own "person" and not have to "change" yourself to "date" a "non-geek". "Personallity" is where it truley "counts". "Date" a person with a similar "personallity" or one that you are "compatable" with instead of "bothering" with "geek" or "non-geek" "status". And always, use "quotations".
I wish I had _any_ kind of girlfriend. :)
Originally posted by evulish
I wish I had _any_ kind of girlfriend. :)
*Lose* the sunglasses. :)
Christina
04-09-2002, 10:58
Originally posted by D.J. Fluck
Changing someone is bad, changing yourself on the other hand can be a good thing....
but there is a difference between forcing interests and overcomming fears. I used to be an anti-social quiet shy person and look at me now. I don't stop talking....
DJ...I agree with you on this one. Forcing someone to change is a bad thing, but helping someone change into someone they *want* to be can be a good thing.
~Christina
Originally posted by Michael Krass
*Lose* the sunglasses. :)
Oddly enough, I can't actually find them. :)
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