CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #42

[Billfred]

(refrains from making the obligatory Hitchhikers jokes)

Alright, here we go again.

The scores:

T. Hoffman 120
MissInformation -infinity
Gary Dillard 118
Dlavery 99
Greencactus3 73
Dorienne Plait 72
Rich Wong 68
Jay H 237 66
Andy Baker 60
DCA Fan 57
Amanda Morrison 54
JVN 54
GateRunner 46
Eugenia Gabrielov 45
Greg Needel 45
Michelle 236 45
Bcahn836 44
Tkwetzel 43
Elgin Clock 43
Koko Ed 42
JosephM 40
EddieMcD 36
"Big Mike" 34
Brandon Martus 30
Matt Attallah 29
Kyle45 28
Jeff Waegelin 27
VGMasterShadow 26
Richardp 25
DanielBCR 24
Arefin Bari 22
Nehalita 21
Shyra1353 21
Squirrelrock 19
Mike Ciance 18
Jessica Boucher 17
Lil' Lavery 16
Astronouth7303 15
Robo hottie71 14
Tom Schindler 12
Rich Kressly 12
Killerofkiller 11
Steve W 11
Wetzel 10
Pit Bull 1126 9
Aignam 9
JamizzleHavok13 8
Vivelation 8
Icurtis 8
Meli W. 7
Jack Jones 7
Kyle 7
RogerR 7
Jacqui 7
TierraDelDiablo 6
EricS-Team180 6
ZACH P. 6
George1083 6
Cyberguy34000 5
Denman 5
George56 5
Katy 5
Marc P. 5
Stephen Kowski 5
Corey Balint 4
CourtneyB 4
Jay Trzaskos 4
Yan Wang 4
Barry Bonzack1604 4
Ken Patton 4
Tytus Gerrish 4
Andrew Rudolph 3
Ben Lauer 3
DJ Fluck 3
Lisa Perez 3
David Kelly 3
EricH 2
Al Skierkiewicz 2
Cory 2
DaBruteForceGuy 2
Dillon Compton 2
Ecarlson 2
EnderofDragon 2
Jake177 2
Jdiwnab 2
Jeff_Rice 2
Joe Ross 2
Joshua May 2
Karinka13 2
Nobrakes8 2
Tom Bottiglieri 2
Aaron Lussier 1
Alex Pelan 1
Bill Gold 1
Coco The Monkey 1
Collin Fultz 1
ElfMaster 1
Eria4044 1
IMDWalrus 1
JakeGallagher 1
Joe_P. 1
Katie Reynolds 1
MATT_kaplan108 1
NoRemorse 1
Pat McCarthy 1
Sakura141 1
Sanddrag 1
Tiffany34990 1

And here's the picture, not even a day old (which might be a turnaround record for this contest):

http://www.ryanalbright.com/championshipday3/photos/photo10.html

Since the Championship has come and gone, the deadline is once again Saturday at midnight.

Have fun!

[Bcahn836]

Guy 1 - "Quick lets change the score while Billfred isn't looking"
Guy 2- " Nooo, lets see if we can find Billfreds next caption contest picture."
Guy 1- " Great idea, Muwhaaaa"
Billfred- " So how is that score coming?"

[tkwetzel]

While David Kelly looks over the scores, Billfred has spotted the infamous photoshopper Heidi Foster and watches her at all times. He must try not to do anything stupid that Heidi can get a picture of so he can keep his dignity.

[Billfred]

<obviously not an entry>

Actually, Heidi got a picture of me at the webhug, supposedly for photoshopping. Of course, how much photoshopping can one do when you've got safety glasses on?

[tkwetzel]

<obviously not an entry>

Actually, Heidi got a picture of me at the webhug, supposedly for photoshopping. Of course, how much photoshopping can one do when you've got safety glasses on?

[Also not an entry]Plenty of photoshopping can be done with safety glasses on and Heidi is the person to do it ;) [/Also not an entry]

[Sakura141]

Billfred: I'm going to stand here and watch Dave stand on his head while he's introducing the teams, you keep the scores going

Guy 1: Here! Put this team in 1st and this one in last! He won't notice!

Guy 2: Yea, he's to busy staring at Dave

Billfred: *2 minutes later* Who changed the scores?

Guy 1 and Guy 2: *snickering behind his back*

[Joe Matt]

The truth is out: The only reason why JosephM won the last Caption Contest was because Billfred didn't judget it, but David "Apple Switcher" Kelley.

[MissInformation]

<obviously not an entry>

Actually, Heidi got a picture of me at the webhug, supposedly for photoshopping. Of course, how much photoshopping can one do when you've got safety glasses on?

<not an entry because my brain has shut down for the day and I cannot come up with a proper entry and yet I cannot resist responding to this>

Goggles? I don't see no stinkin' goggles... at least not in this picture (http://www.factorfantasy.com/Photos/billfred.jpg).

Heidi

[DCA Fan]

David - "Does something smell funny to you?"
BillFred - "Sorry that was me."

[Daniel Brim]

Billfred, what cologne are you wearing?! You know... a little of that stuff goes a long way!

[not an entry]"Now all we need is Travis" :) [/not an entry]

[Travis Hoffman]

[not an entry]"Now all we need is Travis" :) [/not an entry]

Uh-oh! It appears the Championship Event's self-appointed Odoriferous Emanations Inspector, David Kelly, has detected a Level 5 O.E. wafting from the underarms of one William Leverette, Jr. Further evidence of this malodorous stench is provided by the cameraman, who obviously cannot focus clearly due to the stank permeating the immediate area. We all know what this means, boys and girls! Billfred gets to take a B.O. Timeout in the FIRST Defunkification Chamber - sponsored by Degree for Men, the official antiperspirant of FIRST.

We salute you, Mr. Odoriferous Emanations Inspector, for without your ever-vigilant nostrils, hundreds of nasally-offended spectators would make this FIRST Championship Event their LAST.

*Cue Real Men of Genius singer....*

"Mr. Odoriferous Emanations Inspeeeeeectorrrrrrrrrr....."

[Greg Ross]

Of course, how much photoshopping can one do when you've got safety glasses on?I recommend, unless you really want to find out, that you not ask the question. ;)
<obviously not an entry> (I don't do captions, but if Billfred hijacks his own thread, I can't really be blamed, right? :D)

[Joe_P.]

david: must finish photoshopping billfreds head onto heidi's body and dave lavery's legs

billfred: please tell me that is nt what i think it is

david: nope, it is the aliens controlling your Mind

billfred: oh, ok, that explains the voices in my head

[Jacqui]

Billfred: *Stands up looking at the field innocently*

Guy 1: Hey! Why is Billfred's new caption thread on the scoring systems computer?

Guy 2: *Goes and looks at the picture for it* AHHH! Looks like we should get out of here fast!

Guy 1: Why?!? *Looks at the picture* Lets go now!

Guy 1 and 2: *Runs to a car and drives off*

Billfred: *Giggles to self while taking down the phony thread and puts his favorite team to 1st place, then turns to the camera* Now students, THAT is how you get your team, or your favorite team to 1st place

Student: What was the picture of anyways?

Billfred: Uh..umm...*Looks around and runs*

[Andy Baker]

Billfred, thinking: "Ummm... is that David rubbing up against my arm? Wow, that AXE body spray works great!"



AB

[Jay H 237]

<David> Nooo, not the "blue screen"! Ummm, Billfred, we have a problem!

[Gary Dillard]

Here we see a measure of the success of the Real Time Scoring System for this year's game. The final match on Curie Friday ended at 6:15 PM, and Billfred is still updating the real time score at 9:37 PM.

[Rich Kressly]

Billfred, thinking: "Ummm... is that David rubbing up against my arm? Wow, that AXE body spray works great!"
AB

[not an entry] Either this entry is the winner or Andy needs professional help. I can't quite decide which... [/not an entry]

"Hey, um Billfred. Can you get that thing to display 'I am JVN' on the scoreboard?"

[Joe Matt]

[not an entry] Either this entry is the winner or Andy needs professional help. I can't quite decide which... [/not an entry]


[not an entry too]Does it surprise me Andy needs help? I mean, he volunteered me to be Draco Malfoy (http://www.chiefdelphi.com/forums/showpost.php?p=268243&postcount=34) for crying out loud![/not an entry]

[Elgin Clock]

Didn't your mother ever tell you a watched scoring screen never boils... err.. compiles?

[Cyberguy34000]

Focus... Focus... Focus!!!

Dang it, the real time scoring still won't work :)

[Denman]

"i smell drink billfred, has that bottle really got vodka in instead?"

[Andrew Rudolph]

DK and other dude "Diet coke, i love you so. oooo soo much, come to me"
Bilfred "dont touch my diet coke."

[MissInformation]

Even the great David Kelly, in fear of the power of -Infinity, bowed before the might of Billfred...

-∞-∞-∞-∞-∞-∞-∞-∞-∞-∞-∞-∞-∞

[EricS-Team180]

...um guys...
The real time scoring system just informed me that it has gained self-awareness :ahh:

[Koko Ed]

http://www.ryanalbright.com/championshipday3/photos/photo10.jpg
"You've been using Secret again haven't you?"

[Dorienne]

David Kelly: "STAREDOWN! This computer shall fear me!!! Cyber Blue will win this match! Scoring will be under MY control!"

Billfred: "Uhhh...Dave....your microphone's on...all the volunteers can hear you."

David Kelly: "Oh, uh...it was a joke..?"

[Travis Hoffman]

"You've been using Secret again haven't you?"

[not an entry]"Strong enough for a man....but made for Billfred."[/not an entry]

[tkwetzel]

[not an entry]"Strong enough for a man....but made for Billfred."[/not an entry]
[also not an entry]I think you just avoided automatically getting the burn award and 3 points by making that not an entry ;).[/also not an entry]

[dlavery]

<not an entry>Every fiber of my being is screaming at me to post a caption involving "Bevis and Butthead," but I just can't bring myself to do it... Sigh. </not an entry>

DK: Look guys, I am telling you for the fourth time - you are NEVER going to earn your official "Geek" certificates if you keep spelling "pwned" with an "O" in it!

[Travis Hoffman]

[also not an entry]I think you just avoided automatically getting the burn award and 3 points by making that not an entry ;).[/also not an entry]

Consider it a freebie. I have higher aspirations. :p

[Billfred]

Now I know why I don't post more pictures of myself on this thread. :)

And after some deliberation, I think it's time to add a fifth rule to the caption contest...

At certain times, should Billfred be pwned by a contestant, he may, at his sole discretion, assign a score of -infinity to that contestant. Points still accumulate as normal, but the -infinity score will remain posted until Billfred either lets off or forgets to add the -infinity score again.

With that said, first place goes to...

Even the great David Kelly, in fear of the power of -Infinity, bowed before the might of Billfred...

-∞-∞-∞-∞-∞-∞-∞-∞-∞-∞-∞-∞-∞

Second place goes to...

Here we see a measure of the success of the Real Time Scoring System for this year's game. The final match on Curie Friday ended at 6:15 PM, and Billfred is still updating the real time score at 9:37 PM.

(I feel I have to put a note in here. First off, you can't update the RTS after the match with the Hatch system. The handhelds still work, but the screen doesn't update--meaning that if you miss a goal that makes a row, you're up the proverbial creek until the video guy pulls it down. Second, I was sleeping like a baby at 9:37 PM on Friday night.)

Honorable mentions go to...

JosephM
Jacqui
Rich Kressly
Denman
Andrew Rudolph
Dorienne Plait
dlavery
Elgin Clock
Sakura141
Joe_P.
BCahn836

And the burn award...

Uh-oh! It appears the Championship Event's self-appointed Odoriferous Emanations Inspector, David Kelly, has detected a Level 5 O.E. wafting from the underarms of one William Leverette, Jr. Further evidence of this malodorous stench is provided by the cameraman, who obviously cannot focus clearly due to the stank permeating the immediate area. We all know what this means, boys and girls! Billfred gets to take a B.O. Timeout in the FIRST Defunkification Chamber - sponsored by Degree for Men, the official antiperspirant of FIRST.

We salute you, Mr. Odoriferous Emanations Inspector, for without your ever-vigilant nostrils, hundreds of nasally-offended spectators would make this FIRST Championship Event their LAST.

*Cue Real Men of Genius singer....*

"Mr. Odoriferous Emanations Inspeeeeeectorrrrrrrrrr....."

(It was the defunkification that did it.)

And now for the scores...

MissInformation 129
T. Hoffman 123
Gary Dillard 123
Dlavery 101
Dorienne Plait 74
Greencactus3 73
Rich Wong 68
Jay H 237 67
Andy Baker 61
DCA Fan 58
JVN 54
Amanda Morrison 54
GateRunner 46
Bcahn836 46
Michelle 236 45
Elgin Clock 45
Greg Needel 45
Eugenia Gabrielov 45
Tkwetzel 44
Koko Ed 43
JosephM 42
EddieMcD 36
"Big Mike" 34
Brandon Martus 30
Matt Attallah 29
Kyle45 28
Jeff Waegelin 27
VGMasterShadow 26
Richardp 25
DanielBCR 25
Arefin Bari 22
Nehalita 21
Shyra1353 21
Squirrelrock 19
Mike Ciance 18
Jessica Boucher 17
Lil' Lavery 16
Astronouth7303 15
Rich Kressly 14
Robo hottie71 14
Tom Schindler 12
Steve W 11
Killerofkiller 11
Wetzel 10
Jacqui 9
Aignam 9
Pit Bull 1126 9
Icurtis 8
JamizzleHavok13 8
Vivelation 8
Denman 7
EricS-Team180 7
Jack Jones 7
Kyle 7
RogerR 7
Meli W. 7
George1083 6
ZACH P. 6
Cyberguy34000 6
TierraDelDiablo 6
Andrew Rudolph 5
George56 5
Katy 5
Marc P. 5
Stephen Kowski 5
Barry Bonzack1604 4
Ken Patton 4
Tytus Gerrish 4
Corey Balint 4
CourtneyB 4
Jay Trzaskos 4
Yan Wang 4
David Kelly 3
Ben Lauer 3
DJ Fluck 3
Joe_P. 3
Lisa Perez 3
Sakura141 3
Al Skierkiewicz 2
Cory 2
DaBruteForceGuy 2
Dillon Compton 2
Ecarlson 2
EnderofDragon 2
Jake177 2
Jdiwnab 2
Jeff_Rice 2
Joe Ross 2
Joshua May 2
Karinka13 2
Nobrakes8 2
Tom Bottiglieri 2
EricH 2
Aaron Lussier 1
Alex Pelan 1
Bill Gold 1
Coco The Monkey 1
Collin Fultz 1
ElfMaster 1
Eria4044 1
IMDWalrus 1
JakeGallagher 1
Katie Reynolds 1
MATT_kaplan108 1
NoRemorse 1
Pat McCarthy 1
Sanddrag 1
Tiffany34990 1

Onward to bigger and better things...like number 43!

[Gary Dillard]

...I was sleeping like a baby at 9:37 PM on Friday night.


Not according to the time stamp on the photograph - are you saying that photos in the caption contest are not entirely accurate? I thought this contest was on the level. I feel so used! How can I come up with another clever and witty caption when in the back of my mind I'll be questioning the validity of each photo?

<suddenly remembers the power of negative infinity>

Oh, sorry Billfred, my bad.

[Billfred]

The picture is for real. The timestamp is just off--you'd want to pester Ryan to get his clock right on his camera. :)

(By the way, Gary, I read signatures. Double :) )