Surgeon General's Warning. [Archive]

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Dr.Bot

26-01-2006, 12:45

Honest, I was just trying to hack my cell phone to get it to display the GPS data, and I got the following Text Message:

"HackNet News, Washington DC, Federated States of North America, Jan 30, 2026."

The Surgeon General of the Federated States has determined that robotics competition is hazardous to your mental health. He is proposing that the three houses of congress pass legislation that all materials that contain robotics content be suitably flagged as hazardous and appropriate filters and firewalls be installed on all citizen's data access keys.

In a virtual news conference today, a spokesperson from the Surgeon General's office answered questions from various news net reporters. When asked what prompted this radical finding, the following points were made:

"For the past several years, our office has been receiving many complaints about the effect of robotics competitions on our citizens, particularly our youngest and most impressionable. We studied the effect of robotics competition on a targeted group of convicted criminals and political activists, all sentenced to brain wipe and reprogramming. What we found really horrified us. Robotics Competition turned out to be one of the most addictive activities we studied. It ranks way up there with cocaine and sex, and it is much more addictive then some allowed activities like smoking pot and brain jack video games.

Further more, it leads to other serious addictions to banned substances such as pizza and Krispy Kream donuts. The organizations that promote robotics competition are some of the most cynical and subversive we have discovered. They are continually expanding their reach to younger and younger citizens. They started out with college age, pushed down to high school, then middle and elementary school. Now that they are pushing a robotics pre-natal subliminal tape program, they've gone too far. Just like drug pushers, the first 'hit' is always free.
Before you know it, you're hooked, and your next 'fix' of robotics is the only thing on your mind.

What is most frightening is people involved in robotics competition become confident capable citizens, who God forbid me saying this, think for themselves. This is just the kind of horror our government is sworn to prevent."

Sorry - I lost the rest of the message.

RogerR

26-01-2006, 12:55

...Further more, it leads to other serious addictions to banned substances such as pizza and Krispy Kream donuts...

NOOOOOOO!!!!!

i'll begin construction of a massive underground cryogenic donut freezer sometime late tonight. if anyone else wants in on this, i'd be happy to oblige. remember, cold, stale donuts are better than no donuts at all.

Al Skierkiewicz

26-01-2006, 13:00

Hi! I'm from the government and I am here to help you.

Sean Schuff

26-01-2006, 13:38

Hi! I'm from the government and I am here to help you.
Yeah! Right!! ;)

JVGazeley

26-01-2006, 13:42

Well they aren't illegal over here :D

Steve W

26-01-2006, 13:50

Well they aren't illegal over here :D

Yet! The movement is spreading. :eek:

Stephen Kowski

26-01-2006, 17:35

NOOOOOOO!!!!!

i'll begin construction of a massive underground cryogenic donut freezer sometime late tonight. if anyone else wants in on this, i'd be happy to oblige. remember, cold, stale donuts are better than no donuts at all.

lol a sugar craving, donut eating diabetic....it never ceases to amaze me roger....

No Name

26-01-2006, 20:48

NOOOOOOO!!!!!

i'll begin construction of a massive underground cryogenic donut freezer sometime late tonight. if anyone else wants in on this, i'd be happy to oblige. remember, cold, stale donuts are better than no donuts at all.

Wow thats really strange and i'd be happy to be in this underground donut freezer group....lol.....bring some with sprinkles..... :D

Nuttyman54

26-01-2006, 22:09

Mr. Freeman

26-01-2006, 22:45

We'll just have to build a robot army to defeat the oppressors of Krispy Kream and pizza hut. But I see no mention in the article of mountain dew, at least we get to keep our caffeine :ahh: dependency.

artdutra04

27-01-2006, 08:18

BlackRoboDragon

30-01-2006, 19:25

Andrew Blair

30-01-2006, 19:58

Kream is actually "Kreme", and you missed a quotation mark. ;) The Federated States has asked me to thank you for passing along their message, but to please misspell more common items, and less obscure ones, so that it looks more authentic. :D

Sgraff_SRHS06

30-01-2006, 21:52

Dew is good, so are donuts and sugar, and especially caffine, ILOVEMYCAFFINE!!!!!!!!1 CAFFINECAFFINECAFFINECAFFINE!!!!!!!! WHOOOOO!! Sorry, had a few sodas before this. But that might be a good idea...

Another good idea: all the Monster Energy Drink that you can find, in every variety. We need about 100000 of them to float our boats tonight! :D

tiffany34990

30-01-2006, 22:03

NOOOOOOO!!!!!

i'll begin construction of a massive underground cryogenic donut freezer sometime late tonight. if anyone else wants in on this, i'd be happy to oblige. remember, cold, stale donuts are better than no donuts at all.

well this can add to one of those many great projects you have lined up... when you get it done let me know.

Buster Wolf

01-02-2006, 18:10

they can take my pizza when they pry it from my cold dead jaws.
Pizza & donuts:
We wants it...
and when their dead...
we takes it from them.
yes precious, then we takes it.

Marcel

01-02-2006, 18:15

They cannot take our FIRST diet. I mean part of FIRST is the diet we start to have during building season lol. Last year we had bagels, bagels, chips, some soda, and old bagels....mostly bagels >.<

BlackRoboDragon

06-02-2006, 18:50

I can't deal with bagels, I hate them, I'll take sodas though, I love sodas... :D

MC_Elroy

07-02-2006, 20:35

I knew the government was a little shady but this takes it to the next level!!!!!!!

I always have pizza on fridays!! This is completely ruining my flow! :mad:
And I love Donuts!! :mad:

lil_longo

18-02-2006, 14:55

:mad: Honest, I was just trying to hack my cell phone to get it to display the GPS data, and I got the following Text Message:

"HackNet News, Washington DC, Federated States of North America, Jan 30, 2026."

The Surgeon General of the Federated States has determined that robotics competition is hazardous to your mental health. He is proposing that the three houses of congress pass legislation that all materials that contain robotics content be suitably flagged as hazardous and appropriate filters and firewalls be installed on all citizen's data access keys.

In a virtual news conference today, a spokesperson from the Surgeon General's office answered questions from various news net reporters. When asked what prompted this radical finding, the following points were made:

"For the past several years, our office has been receiving many complaints about the effect of robotics competitions on our citizens, particularly our youngest and most impressionable. We studied the effect of robotics competition on a targeted group of convicted criminals and political activists, all sentenced to brain wipe and reprogramming. What we found really horrified us. Robotics Competition turned out to be one of the most addictive activities we studied. It ranks way up there with cocaine and sex, and it is much more addictive then some allowed activities like smoking pot and brain jack video games.

Further more, it leads to other serious addictions to banned substances such as pizza and Krispy Kream donuts. The organizations that promote robotics competition are some of the most cynical and subversive we have discovered. They are continually expanding their reach to younger and younger citizens. They started out with college age, pushed down to high school, then middle and elementary school. Now that they are pushing a robotics pre-natal subliminal tape program, they've gone too far. Just like drug pushers, the first 'hit' is always free.
Before you know it, you're hooked, and your next 'fix' of robotics is the only thing on your mind.

What is most frightening is people involved in robotics competition become confident capable citizens, who God forbid me saying this, think for themselves. This is just the kind of horror our government is sworn to prevent."

Sorry - I lost the rest of the message.

Are you kidding me. if any one here believes tis lie then they have a problem no offense but that can not be true. It is a total lie. destroy this thread it is a waste on mankind its self :mad: :mad: :confused:

Katie Reynolds

18-02-2006, 15:12

:mad:

Are you kidding me. if any one here believes tis lie then they have a problem no offense but that can not be true. It is a total lie. destroy this thread it is a waste on mankind its self :mad: :mad: :confused:Whoa, chill! This thread was created as a joke, for fun. :)

lil_longo

18-02-2006, 15:55

Whoa, chill! This thread was created as a joke, for fun. :)

i still think its a waste and it has no point at all if u find a point in this thread besides fun an actual point then ill back down

M Dawg1319

18-02-2006, 16:50

That can't be good

lil_longo

18-02-2006, 16:51

That can't be good

wat cant be good

IraJason

19-02-2006, 18:10

It's already happening... the've shut down 4 Krispy Kremes in our area already... PLEASE! ANYTHING BUT THE KRISPY KREMES!!!!

I propose the creation of a Krispy Kreme fueled army to fight off these donut fearing oppressors. We'll fight in the trenches, We'll fight on the beaches, but we'll never give up our right to eat a dozen Krispy Kremes!

FOR THE KRISPY KREMES! HUZZAH!

pyroslev

19-02-2006, 18:33

PDCCC, our work sight, was selling Krispy Kreme for $5 and i bought 2 boxes. One is in reserve for Tuesday 5:01 pm.

The other box did not last the hour.

IraJason

19-02-2006, 18:55

For our tech club's main fundraiser, we sold Krispy Kremes during Midterms and Finals and made a pretty good profit. Unfortunately, after deciding to go through a little remanagement during winter break this year, Krispy Kreme closed all their stores in the Philly area...

We are now a Krispy Kreme free zone.. :( IT'S HORRIBLE I TELL YOU! HORRIBLE!!!

lil_longo

24-02-2006, 13:15

hey before i posted some rude posts and i take them back i didnt mean to be mean and i just wanted to aplogize i hope that you guys can forgive me and if u do can you please help me out and give me a positive reputation i wont post anything like i did before. :(

lil_longo

24-02-2006, 13:52

forget about that reputation thing u dont have to

Beta Version

27-02-2006, 16:01

Don't worry, Ive got 5,632 boxes of pizza and 40 thousand doughnut holes coming in across the border tonight. We'll set up underground distribution centers and keep all the money in diversified overseas bank accounts. Then, we'll assemble a robotic strike team and steal the Krispy Kreme recipe in order to keep it safe.

yes.

Ive got it all figured out. :D

Greg Perkins

27-02-2006, 16:45

4 redbull's 2 vault energy soda's and subway all in about 2 hours makes me feel very strange. :D :D

IraJason

05-03-2006, 21:51