Does anyone have any good Robotics jokes?

[Emily3204]

Our team wanted to put some on the back of our shirts for Championships... any ideas?

[joeweber]

Whats the difference between a NASA robot and a FIRST robot?

Funding.


How long does it take a FIRST team to screw in a light bulb?

Six weeks one day, can’t start it until after ship day.


What is a good diet plan for a FIRST team?

1. Bend at the knees, 2. Tipp the robot over, 3. Shake really hard.

[Chickenonastick]

Quoted from some of the shirts I saw at Sacramento (so I'm not sure if this is an option):

"Team XXXX: Sleep is optional"
"Team XXXX: Wipe robot grease here: *small square on shirt to do so*"

[EricH]

See if you can tweak this one for a T-shirt: http://www.chiefdelphi.com/forums/showthread.php?t=42333

Tools needed (best as a checklist):
--FLUX Capacitor
--Left-handed Screwdriver
--Metric Crescent wrench
--Brass Magnet
--Aluminum PVC Pipe
--Fine Negotiating Tool [Note: better known as a hammer or mallet]
--Time
--A robot

[kevin.li.rit]

The robots too heavy. Take some code out.

[FRC4ME]

I remember when my programmers began working with the Jaguar CAN interface:

"CAN we fix it?"
"Yes we CAN!"
"Do you guys need a CAN opener over there?"
"The CAN doesn't work? How unCANny!"
"Do you know what happened to the guy who couldn't fix his Jaguar?"
"He got CANned."
...
<after five minutes of this nonstop>
quietest kid in the room: "CAN it you guys." :D

[Radical Pi]

if we're going for CAN puns...This was when a purely mechanical guy was walking by:

"Well if we put the Jaguars in a CAN on the bus then there's a higher chance the jaguar will break our robot. We need the black jaguar to keep the rest under control"

[Wayne Doenges]

Two robots run in to a bar, the third one had a better driver :D

I cut if off three times and it's still too short

[apalrd]

if we're going for CAN puns...This was when a purely mechanical guy was walking by:

"Well if we put the Jaguars in a CAN on the bus then there's a higher chance the jaguar will break our robot. We need the black jaguar to keep the rest under control"

And while we are talking about software jokes:

we have many variants of "flashing the robot"

Make the code smaller because 0's are lighter than 1's

[Katie_UPS]

"If it moves and it shouldn't, duct tape it.
If it doesn't move and it should, WD-40"

Not really a joke, but my favorite (Karthik?) quote ever.

[synth3tk]

Two robots run in to a bar, the third one had a better driver :D
That is purely awesome!!! :D I need to make drive team shirts with this saying on it for next year.

[JaneYoung]

That is purely awesome!!! :D I need to make drive team shirts with this saying on it for next year.

Wayne's first joke is totally silly. I have no idea when I'm going to stop laughing. I don't care if I ever stop.

Jane

[Bill_B]

Two robots run in to a bar, the third one had a better driver :D

An on-topic variation of the ancient:
Hickory, dickory, dock
three mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one
and two escaped without injury

[baruffir]

My friend and teammate, who is our head of Programming, just got a new t-shirt from XKCD. It reads: "I'm not slacking off. My code is compiling." :)

[DinerKid]

My friend and teammate, who is our head of Programming, just got a new t-shirt from XKCD. It reads: "I'm not slacking off. My code is compiling." :)

This is one of my favorites. I like that it has a picture of the kids on office chairs having a sword fight, so realistic. I had a telemarketer call so i said "I have to go my code is compiling" he understood, laughed for a second then hung up.

one of our code guys has a shirt that has two cartoon characters one sitting in a chair and the other standing up each with speech bubbles.

One in chair: "Make me a sandwich"
One Standing up: "No make it yourself"
One in Chair: "Pseudo make me a sandwich"
One standing up: "Okay"

~DK

[Vermeulen]

"This place is a total pit."

[Alan Anderson]

One in chair: "Make me a sandwich"
One Standing up: "No make it yourself"
One in Chair: "Pseudo make me a sandwich"
One standing up: "Okay"

It's not "pseudo". It's sudo, a command to substitute userid and do another command as that user.

The su command is often misinterpreted by people as meaning superuser, since by default it will cause the current session to be treated as "root", the super user. If you have the proper authority, prepending a command with sudo will run that command with full access to the entire system and no further security checks.

[Marc P.]

This is one of my favorites. I like that it has a picture of the kids on office chairs having a sword fight, so realistic. I had a telemarketer call so i said "I have to go my code is compiling" he understood, laughed for a second then hung up.

one of our code guys has a shirt that has two cartoon characters one sitting in a chair and the other standing up each with speech bubbles.

One in chair: "Make me a sandwich"
One Standing up: "No make it yourself"
One in Chair: "Pseudo make me a sandwich"
One standing up: "Okay"

~DK

May as well embed the original comics-
(With all credit belonging to Randall Munroe of xkcd.com)

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/compiling.png (http://xkcd.com/303/)

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/sandwich.png (http://xkcd.com/149/)

He was also responsible for this gem, probably my favorite XKCD comic to date:
(this was posted here on CD when it was first released, but while we're on the XKCD discussion, it seems relevant to the discussion)

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/first_design.png (http://xkcd.com/689/)

[1986titans]

^ And that last comic is called "FIRST Design."

Hmmm...

[Radical Pi]

Team 689 must be so proud of that comic (the comic ID is 689). Perhaps they tried to implement it :P

btw not even that design could stop 469. If they lock down on the tower before the sprinklers activate, then they can loop the balls from autonomous. Randall, your design is no longer the awesomest

[RoboMom]

Although not really jokes, the spotlights featured on Feb. 14 on cd always crack me up.

[Kyler386]

From my signature:

[ManicMechanic]

Not exactly a joke, but Post # 15 in this thread (http://www.chiefdelphi.com/forums/showthread.php?t=66587) is classic.

[DinerKid]

It's not "pseudo". It's sudo, a command to substitute userid and do another command as that user.

The su command is often misinterpreted by people as meaning superuser, since by default it will cause the current session to be treated as "root", the super user. If you have the proper authority, prepending a command with sudo will run that command with full access to the entire system and no further security checks.

Sorry about that i'm not really a code guy. i know survival code but i am not at the level of most FIRST code guys. Plus it's not my fault that i said pseudo instead of sudo it is a programmers fault. Yet another classic "joke" to put on your shirt.

~DK

[FRC4ME]

This year we named our robot "LongShot," which was a bit of a joke itself.

During one of the many Mac vs. PC debate to face the programming team, this got shouted across the room:
Windows user 1: "Hey, why do Mac users multiply so quickly?"
Windows user 2: "I don't know, why?"
Windows user 1: "Because they don't think they need protection."
All Windows users: <insane laughter>

[demosthenes2k8]

Your programmer pronounced it wrong, it's "su-dew". Like the soda. xD

Measure once, cut twice, oops, recompile!

[[H]eather M.S.]

So another robot walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says "Can I get a screwdriver?"

HA! GET IT? CUZ, LIKE A SCREWDRIVER IS A TYPE OF DRINK MIX!!!
meh, my friend told me that one...

[Wayne Doenges]

What do you get when you combine Vodka and Milk if Magnesia?

A phililps screwdriver.

[Zuelu562]

Sometimes FIRST-er's look like they just got electrocuted after walking out of the work area after ship day - they likely did.

[Alex2614]

"Sounds like a software problem."
"Sounds like a software problem."
"........Software problem!!"

[tr6scott]

Not robotics specific, but I am partial to my tag line too...

"The sooner we get behind schedule, the more time we have to catch up."

[Mr. Van]

This sign is on the door to our "programming cave" or "storeroom":

If it is falling apart its a MECHANICAL problem.

If it is spewing magic smoke it is an ELECTRICAL problem.

If it is rampaging around destroying things it is a PROGRAMMING problem.

-Mr. Van
Coach, Robodox

[Mark Sheridan]

"Team XXXX: Wipe robot grease here: *small square on shirt to do so*"

That is team 1678, the Citrus Circuits. That is an awesome T-shirt design.

[theNerd]

here's one I came up with:

You know your a rookie team when 50% of your bot is made of zip ties.

It brings back ol' memories

[Andrew Lawrence]

here's one I came up with:

You know your a rookie team when 50% of your bot is made of zip ties.

It brings back ol' memories

We started in 1999 and we still use zip ties! Though no where near as much as we did before!

[CalTran]

I'm pretty happy with the one in my signature:

[remulasce]

Conversations with Hardware Guys:

Me: "Code's compiling!"
HG: "You switched to Python this year."
Me: "Code's interpreting!"

"It is impossible to get magic smoke back into electronics. The closest science has come is soldering- and even then, a great deal of it escapes to the air."

[MishraArtificer]

"Sounds like a software problem."
"Sounds like a software problem."
"........Software problem!!"Sounds like you're paraphrasing a clip of Red vs. Blue, there...

On topic, I was always a fan of "Open mouth, insert Dew. Problem Solved!"

[Chris Fultz]

Knock Knock

Who's There

Uber

Uber Who

Uber going to score that tube, aren't you?

[Zuelu562]

R.I.P. Duct Tape Rule :D

For those not steeped in historical information on FIRST, until 2008 (Correct me if I'm wrong) there was a rule in the rulebook known as the Dean Kamen Rule; NO DUCT TAPE.

[delsaner]

Excuse me, do you have victors on your robot? Well you better let them off, that's a safety violation!

You could substitute victors for jaguars, and say something regarding jaguars like, wear your safety glasses, jaguars are dangerous animals.

[KHall]

Knock Knock

Who's There

Uber

Uber Who

Uber going to score that tube, aren't you?


Not too bad Chris! However, my favorite is still your 2010 IRI tag line submission...

:cool: "If the Lady was Here, She Would go Ga-Ga" :yikes:

LOVE IT!! & still :D:D

[Ankit S.]

This is from one of 2035's pins:

"WHERE'S THAT (wire) STRIPPER!?"

[Thundrio]

when we were at regionals we lost a jag in our first match, so while we were in the pit trying to replace it i saw a tiger mascot walking around. i told him he probably shouldn't get to close since we killed one of his cousins.

=)

[AlexH]

Some people like country, others like rap.

As for me, I'm into Metal.

What kind you ask?

Well... I like aluminum, especially 7075 and 2024. I also like chromly and occasionally a bit of titanium.

[Steve Compton]

Some people like country, others like rap.

As for me, I'm into Metal.

What kind you ask?

Well... I like aluminum, especially 7075 and 2024. I also like chromly and occasionally a bit of titanium.

Hey all....I'm AlexH's coach and yes, I never understood this joke either....

[Scimor5]

This doesn't really quality of as a joke but, At one point in the pits our team captain was pushing our lead programmer around on our cart yelling "robot".

At the same regional we had announced we need "kryptonite and the location of superman".

[VKP]

I stumbled upon this:
http://stories-etc.com/engineers.htm

I hope engineering jokes count =p

[J93Wagner]

Nice. They're pretty funny. But the worst part about them is that most of them are how I feel or how I would react! :eek:

[Taylor Hawkins]

Heard this from one of our programmers

There are only 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who dont.

[Bill_B]

Heard this from one of our programmers

There are only 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who dont.
But there are really three types of people, those that can count and those that can't.

[WizenedEE]

There are only 10 types of people in the world. Those that think this joke is using base ten, those that thing this joke is in base two, and those that know this joke is in base three.

Also:

Every base is base 10.

[Alan Anderson]

Every base is base 10.

Let's see you justify that with base e. :D

[pfreivald]

sqrt(-1) 2^3 (capital sigma) (pi)...

...and it was delicious!

[MishraArtificer]

sqrt(-1) 2^3 (capital sigma) (pi)...

...and it was delicious!Um...translate for the less mathematically inclined?

[J93Wagner]

sqrt(-1) 2^3 (capital sigma) (pi)...

...and it was delicious!

I hope you enjoyed your imaginary pi.

[EricH]

Translation:

sqrt(-1) = i (imaginary numbers always have this somewhere)
2^3 = 8
capital sigma = Σ (usually means "sum")
pi should be self-explanatory.

(i)(8)(Σ)(pi)

Oh, and can someone tell me what this is?
indefinite integral ((1/cabin)*dcabin)

[Alan Anderson]

sqrt(-1) 2^3 (capital sigma) (pi)...

...and it was delicious!

Um...translate for the less mathematically inclined?

The square root of -1 is i.
Two raised to the power of three is eight.
The Greek letter Σ (sigma) represents a sum.
And, of course, the name of the Greek letter π (pi) sounds like the English word pie.

[ChrisH]

Translation:

sqrt(-1) = i (imaginary numbers always have this somewhere)
2^3 = 8
capital sigma = Σ (usually means "sum")
pi should be self-explanatory.

(i)(8)(Σ)(pi)

Oh, and can someone tell me what this is?
indefinite integral ((1/cabin)*dcabin)

A log cabin

[EricH]

A log cabinYou're close, but missing something. I said an indefinite integral.

[demosthenes2k8]

I got ln(cabin)...

[Norman J]

You're close, but missing something. I said an indefinite integral.

A houseboat, forgot to add the c (sea)!

[Hugh Meyer]

The only thing we smoke is Jaguars.

[jordie228]

How many computer programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Woah, no. That's a hardware problem.

Some people say that the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, but engineers know that the glass is actually two times larger than it needs to be.

[MishraArtificer]

Translation:

sqrt(-1) = i (imaginary numbers always have this somewhere)
2^3 = 8
capital sigma = Σ (usually means "sum")
pi should be self-explanatory.

(i)(8)(Σ)(pi)The square root of -1 is i.
Two raised to the power of three is eight.
The Greek letter Σ (sigma) represents a sum.
And, of course, the name of the Greek letter π (pi) sounds like the English word pie.Thanks...I haven't had Algebra classes in a few years, and didn't do particularly well in them to begin with. I think with my hands.

[trilogy2826]

Source: Jack Ganssle's "The Embedded Muse 207"

New SI units:

1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong
7. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
8. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon
9. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
10. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
11. Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line
12. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
13. 1 million-million microphones = 1 megaphone
14. 2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
15. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle
16. 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds
17. 52 cards = 1 decacards
18. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 FigNewton
19. 1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen
20. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
21. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
22. 10 rations = 1 decoration
23. 100 rations = 1 C-ration
24. 2 monograms = 1 diagram
25. 4 nickels = 2 paradigms
26. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV League
27. 100 Senators = Not 1 decision

[Ether]

My favorite:

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SzzhiaESXmM/TVapuQRGSwI/AAAAAAAAAAk/4SLC2z-NXYE/s1600/be-rational-get-real_design.png

[Steve_Alaniz]

Dated but oh well....


http://www.chiefdelphi.com/forums/showthread.php?t=47800&highlight=sally+forth


Steve

[wevets]

To add to the list of units above:

1 miliHelen = enough beauty to launch 1 ship

And of course, my favorite units of velocity: furlongs per fortnight.

[pfreivald]

What do you call free time during the build season?
I don't know, either.

[WizenedEE]

I think the general answer to the thread title is "no" :p

[J93Wagner]

Thought about making a new thread instead of resurrecting this one. But it's probably better here.

But anyway, courtesy of Reddit's front page...

FWD: Re: fwd:

Yes I got this in an e-mail.

A toothpaste factory had a problem: they sometimes shipped empty boxes, without the tube inside. This was due to the way the production line was set up, and people with experience in designing production lines will tell you how difficult it is to have everything happen with timings so precise that every single unit coming out of it is perfect 100% of the time. Small variations in the environment (which can’t be controlled in a cost-effective fashion) mean you must have quality assurance checks smartly distributed across the line so that customers all the way down the supermarket don’t get pissed off and buy someone else’s product instead.

Understanding how important that was, the CEO of the toothpaste factory got the top people in the company together and they decided to start a new project, in which they would hire an external engineering company to solve their empty boxes problem, as their engineering department was already too stretched to take on any extra effort.

The project followed the usual process: budget and project sponsor allocated, RFP, third-parties selected, and six months (and $8 million) later they had a fantastic solution — on time, on budget, high quality and everyone in the project had a great time. They solved the problem by using some high-tech precision scales that would sound a bell and flash lights whenever a toothpaste box weighing less than it should. The line would stop, and someone had to walk over and yank the defective box out of it, pressing another button when done.

A while later, the CEO decides to have a look at the ROI of the project: amazing results! No empty boxes ever shipped out of the factory after the scales were put in place. Very few customer complaints, and they were gaining market share. “That’s some money well spent!” – he says, before looking closely at the other statistics in the report.

It turns out, the number of defects picked up by the scales was 0 after three weeks of production use. It should’ve been picking up at least a dozen a day, so maybe there was something wrong with the report. He filed a bug against it, and after some investigation, the engineers come back saying the report was actually correct. The scales really weren'’t picking up any defects, because all boxes that got to that point in the conveyor belt were good.

Puzzled, the CEO travels down to the factory, and walks up to the part of the line where the precision scales were installed. A few feet before it, there was a $20 desk fan, blowing the empty boxes out of the belt and into a bin. “Oh, that — one of the guys put it there ’cause he was tired of walking over every time the bell rang”, says one of the workers.

[Jon Stratis]

[B]
Some people say that the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, but engineers know that the glass is actually two times larger than it needs to be.

This one reminded me of...
http://xkcd.com/670/

[plnyyanks]

time to breathe life into this thread again....

this:
Source: Jack Ganssle's "The Embedded Muse 207"

New SI units:

1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong
7. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
8. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon
9. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
10. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
11. Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line
12. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
13. 1 million-million microphones = 1 megaphone
14. 2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
15. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle
16. 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds
17. 52 cards = 1 decacards
18. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 FigNewton
19. 1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen
20. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
21. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
22. 10 rations = 1 decoration
23. 100 rations = 1 C-ration
24. 2 monograms = 1 diagram
25. 4 nickels = 2 paradigms
26. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV League
27. 100 Senators = Not 1 decision
reminds me of this:
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/kilobyte.png (http://xkcd.com/394/)
(of course, courtesy of Randall Munroe (http://xkcd.com))

[quinxorin]

My favorite jokes at robotics competitions have to be the ones in the pits where the announcer says something funny, such as:
-WARNING: dihydrogen monoxide gas has been spotted in the pits. Please avoid the dihydrogen monoxide.

But here was a good one my team heard once.

A little context: our biggest cheer, for no good reason is:
Give me an A!
-A!
Give me an A!
-A!
Give me an A!
-A!
What's that spell?
-AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

So at one competition this past year, another team (67 or Enginerds I think) did a cheer something like:
Hey Lightning!
-Hey What?
Hey Lightning!
-Hey What?
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB!!!!!!!!!

[P. Fuller]

http://www.mindspring.com/~museum.of.robotics/MOR-Humor.pdf

[z_beeblebrox]

[5 minutes before match] Just let me make one little change to the code.

I did this once for Vex. The mentors weren't too happy about me changing the code then, but IT DID WORK!!! I would expect it normally doesn't turn out so well.

[qzrrbz]

Two robots walked into a bar. One suspended from it for the win.

[chamingflicken]

CW: a bit vulgar... thought this up today and couldn't resist the urge to share :)

P1: Knock, knock
P2: Who's there?
P1: Dean Kamen.
P2: Dean Kamen who?
P1: His wife.

Lol okayyy peace out :cool:

[techhelpbb]

1. A robot shows up a championship, and boy are it's humans tired.
2. We came, we saw, we taped a bit back on, we passed inspection.
3. Who let the smoke out...sung to Baha Men (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qkuu0Lwb5EM).
4. Bump(h)er? I didn't even know her.
5. 'Defense crossing zone' with a circle and slash through it.
6. Our Stronghold game has Tourettes (pronounce like turrets).
7. 'Tis but a scratch (Black Knight from Monty Python).
8. These jokes, like our robot, are reaching (picture of a climber).
9. We are up in the air over it (picture of a climber).
10. Catapulting to victory! Ah shoot...NO WAIT!
11. Inner piece to outer works?
12. Why did the robot cross the defenses?
13. FRCxxxx strongly held since xxxx
14. The fire breathing dragon defense is invisible!
15. Breach protocol, don't get defensive!
16. If you have treads...They tread on me!

Does your head hurt yet :)?

[GreyingJay]

Two robots walked into a bar.

The third was designed to handle that defense.

[NShep98]

2013: Team 2079 needs dead weight...no really.

[PeeDiddy]

As I plopped all of the e-clips in the entire workshop on the lead programmer's desk, I said "Here, you seem to know how to use these better than the mechanics"

[Hitchhiker 42]

Just a proposed revision to the low bar joke:

Two robots drive into a bar. The third one is shorter than 16".

[NShep98]

Just a proposed revision to the low bar joke:

Two robots drive into a bar. The third one is shorter than 16".

14", if you account for the incline on the ramp.

[Eagleeyedan]

Dean wears denim > denim is blue > water is blue > water game confirmed. :p

[Cothron Theiss]

If you wait to the last minute to do something, you only have to spend one minute on it!