Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

Please, any well-written Lightbulb class would have an "off" method.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

Did you hear the one about the field management system that got married to a DAP-1522 Wireless bridge? The wedding was just so so. But the reception was great.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

Our robot is overweight, I guess we will have to take out our autonomous.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

Programmer says autonomous will work 100% perfectly... robot slams into wall, and ball is shot out of the field

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

... Great way to clear the room of all mechanicals and all but the boldest electricals...

...who will all emerge from hiding to laugh when the autonomous fails.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

Two FRC robots drive into Sparkfun. The Arduino-powered kegerator says, "We don't serve glorified R/C cars here."

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

All of our students got in trouble at the competition. The resisted a rest.

Our robot has not yet returned for the competition. It must be standing out somewhere in the crate. So if anyone asks, tell them our robot is out standing.

Did you know that NASA recently discovered that earth makes fun of other planets for having no life.

I considered volunteering to help clean up after the closing ceremonies in St Louis, but there was too much paperwork.

Our team has several old batteries to get rid of after the season if anyone has a use for them. They are free of charge.

I love pressing F5. It's so refreshing.

I had a joke about our robot, but it needs work.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

Robot puns are robot.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

I was judging for an FLL competition, and the fire alarms went off... there was snow on the ground, around 8-9 in the morning, and we were just about ready for our first group of kids... I still don't understand how these kids had all that energy...

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

This year's game was really rough. I saw one robot lose its entire left side in one competition. It's all right now.

Be careful in St Louis. I understand they had a kidnapping. Fortunately he woke up before he missed any important matches.

Our team is considering having a bird as their mascot. The Vel-Crow.

Some of teams were trying to catch up on homework on their flights back from worlds. That is one way for FIRST to promote higher education.

I had a few jokes about the illness and germs at some of the competitions, but I don't want to spread them around.

I dreamt that we finally had a water game. It was quite an oar deal.

There were several sick robots at this years game. They could not stop throwing up.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

It'll work, I did the math ::ouch::

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

At the Andymark booth at championships you got a pair of safty glasses if you told a good joke. I was told that I won with this joke: Lunacy.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

I thought they wanted a good joke.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

Just like we wanted a good game

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

We tried to get clear aluminum, but it was on back order. They said it would be until 2231

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

Our team got sponsored by a company that works with plutonium. It's safe to say our bot is out of this world.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

The Robodawgs are a great team that does not get enough respect. I hear people say they are two gross.

Old robots never die. They just lose their functions.

Or team does not like negative numbers. We will stop at nothing to avoid them.

Some students do not get things right away. As a Mentor it sometimes feels like if I have told them N times, I've told them N+1 times.

Why did the robot cross the mobius strip? To get to the same side.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

I saw this in another post, and this has to be a joke http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/0...n_5269527.html

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

I'm pretty sure that's real. :0 HuffPost is pretty reliable.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

that is a lot of stuff to write for a joke? It's common knowledge a joke never exceeds a 2.5 paragraphs?

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

Did anyone go to the City Museum while in St Louis? I did, and I saw one student point to a small waterfall and ask one of attendants what the water in that waterfall was made out of. The clever attendant said "two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen". With that the student said, "Yeah, I though it wasn't real".

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

Our team loves pranking our Advisor. Today, we put a red table cover on the back of his car. We took a picture, and he was in a funny posture.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

So I was at Nationals and I saw some good Texas and Mexico team friends and so I made this compilation of wearing their gear as a joke as an undercover agent from FRC Team 1817, The RoboRaiders. I'm not too sure if it should go here, but I think Chief Delphi is ready for it. Enjoy!

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

It's funny because of your avatar.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

Many students I have met will insist that nothing is better than FIRST robotics. And most people would agree that a ham sandwich is better than nothing. So does it logically follow that a ham sandwich is better than FIRST robotics?

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

Get out of our zone you truss-passer.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

I kamen like a wreaking ball!

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

Our head electronics guy went around with power pulls asking people which end was male and which end was female.:rolleyes:

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

I don't know the sociology behind it, but every year it seems we get more male wire connectors shipped to our team than female ones.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

You just ruined FIRST for me. Thanks Brian.:mad:

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

GET BACK TO THE NOODLES AND MAKE ME A BUMPER
(Go make me a sandwich)
FIRST-ed

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

Best way to make a digital sidecar like brand new if it was completely fried:

Run it under water for 15 mins, then place in a tub of water in a freezer for 1 day.
Remove the ice block, and throw it out of a 5 story building into traffic.
Once you realize its broken completely, hit it with a hammer and grab a spare!

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

I hate to be the one to drop the ball, but i'll pass on the Lunacy of coming up with a bad FIRST joke. I mean, i'd like to Aim High on Raising the Bar for you guys on these jokes. Now i'm going to kick this joke into Overdrive by stating that the Diabolical Dynamics of these jokes are completely horrendous. I probably should Breakaway from these shenanigans as soon as possible.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

Dean Kamen walks into a bar...
Gets an idea for a new invention,
Designs the "Sling Shotz", a machine that turns impure water into beer.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

http://www.chiefdelphi.com/forums/at...d=14003835 72


Team 810's drive train... Apparently we were still tasting lunch during this match

PT1

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

I don't know whats more controversial, team 118's robot from 2013, or "Bad" calls the reffs made...

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

One day, I was in yellowstone national park. One hike I was going to do was up a mountain. Shortly before I begin the hike I said
"This will be my ultimate ascent."

One day, while playing basketball, I threw the ball towards the net but it bounced off the backboard and said
"See how the rebound rumbled the backboard?"

One day, I was talking with engineering newbies. We were working too slowly, and so I say
"We must breakaway from the inefficiency."
None of them got it.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

Do those belong in the jokes thread or the quotes thread? It's lunacy to think no one would get it; perhaps they just need an aerial assist to find out how great FIRST is.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

Why does school have to get in the way of more important things like FIRST? When would we ever need to know about the stuff there teaching in here?

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

rather I'm on the brink of insanity, or I have a great idea!

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

... and then, at the end of the six weeks, Dean Kamen emerges from his man cave. If he sees his shadow, he gets tired and goes back to bed and we have one more week of build!







I hope.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

Why cant north dumpling island produce enough energy to light up his bedroom!

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

I stole 1114's 2008 robot and saran wrapped Andy Baker's trailer. Do those count?

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

I'm pretty sure Karthik still secretly believes that's why they lost IRI that year.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

wanna see your hole robot blow up in smoke? #roboRiomeetsmetalshavings

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

XKCD Comic



The Eye of Axis is always targeting


Another comic from somewhere

I asked a freshman to get me a "hydrodynamic spatula with port and starboard attachments and turbo drive" and a sonic screwdriver and she went looking for both.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

"Excuse me, I'm looking for some spare parts."

"What kind?"

"Well... we need a new robot."

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

Our pneumatics guys decided to make a pneumatic programming wrench that actually does things.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

First world of FIRST problems

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

While I was inspecting robots, at CMP, two girl students and their mentor approached me. Mentor was standing behind the girls.
Girt: "Can I ask you a question?"
Me: "You just did."
Girl: "Can I ask you another question?"
Me: "You just did."
I thought the mentor was going to have a heart atack from laughing so hard.

Another thing I like to do during inspections.
I'll ask the students if thay have an pneumatics on the robot. If they say no, I'll ask them if they have any old matics. Some get it, some don't.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

Recycle Rush.

Best joke ever.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

this is the Ultimate ascent of terrible FIRST puns

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

One I pulled on some folks on one of the teams this year:

"You know, your numbers aren't going to pass inspection. They're vertical."

The team in question happens to be one of the three remaining active single-digit teams, and at least one team member just started laughing.


I also, when checking for hazardous materials, would ask for stuff that is hazardous... but no high school would be expected to have around. Including a Mr. Fusion at one point.


As an inspector, the "best" (or not!) kind of inspection problem to find is if you're inspecting the team of any other inspector at the event. This goes double for any LRIs in the bunch.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

The best joke was how the GDC was saying how the games will be like sports....then Recycle Rush.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

Last year at the St. Louis regional I told several teams that past game pieces could not be used on their robots. Some team used frisbees to hold the ball.
You should have seen their jaws drop.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

Not FIRST specific but did happen at a regional last year. 1468 put THIS in their robot prior to inspection.


(There may or may not have been cookies inside):D

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

A few weeks ago I stood among team members as they were about to embark on a road trip to Utah for the regional. Everything they had done, everything they had work so hard for all for this moment. I couldn't help but be inspired. So I composed myself and gathered a few words and captured the attention of all who were present, just to share a little story in the hopes that I would inspire them to do their best. As they all looked to me in anticipation I cleared my voice and said...
"Here, is the story."
With all eyes on me questioning where I was going with this I continued.
"All about how, my life got flipped-turned upside down."
A smile here a grin there, some people knew where I was going with this monumental speech.
"I'd like to take a minute just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air"

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

This is hilarious because it is TRUTH!

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

New student on the team......asked him to go looking for a Johnson Rod.....he went around asking our mentor team where he could get one.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

The best story from this year is how we scared Dean Kamen away from out pits in NYC. We were next to the bathroom, and Dean went into the bathroom... when he came out, a member of our team said "DEAN, LOOK AT MY, UHH, THINGY!:yikes: " Vlad made a simulation of this years game, but with the excitement, he couldn't get it out... Also doesn't help that I gave Mr. Kamen a roll of Denim Duck tape. He just said "You guys are nuts!" and left the convention center... it was hilarious.c

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

What does Dean Kamen say when he wants to take a picture?

FIRST, let me take a selfie.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

"what does your robot do, pete?
it collects data about the surrounding environment, then discards it and drives into walls"

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

Pretty sure that in 2015, the odds were STACKED against us.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

PREACH

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

At the Rebound Rumble I had the privilege of inspecting FRC Team 3940's robot. This is Andy Baker's team.
They were over weight @ 122 pounds.
When I told Andy the weight he said "Okay, what was it really" He didn't believe me.
They had steal plates for ballast so it wasn't hard to loose weight.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

Wasn't that also the year someone found purple air tanks on their robot? :p :p

Actually, at L.A. this year, it was the lockup form that the LRI's team was missing. I'm not saying where it was located to protect the (mostly) innocent...

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

I hope this years game wont be a joke.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

I did this in Walmart once. Needless to say the crowd of people I wound up pushing my way through with a shopping cart were not very amused.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

Last year after a regional a bunch of teams went for dinner at the same restaurant. There was a crowd of people around the lobby waiting to be seated. Two employees were trying to get through, carrying a table, saying "excuse me" with little success. We told one, "say 'robot!' instead". She looked confused, but she looked even more confused when she tried it, and it actually worked!

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

What does Kanye West call Team 254?

The Yeezy Poofs.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

Ask PA for Pneumatic Fluid. :D

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

[cracks knuckles]

The first has been posted elsewhere, but not here:

Two robots walk into a bar. The third was built for Stronghold and damages the defense in about 10 seconds.

************************************************** ********

When is a flashlight not a flashlight?
When it's a baguette or a leg of mutton.

************************************************** ********

When is a bumper-to-bumper collision a strategy aimed at the destruction or inhibition of a robot via attachment, damage, tipping, or entanglements?
Reply Hazy; try again later.

************************************************** ********

Where are the tower flags?
Beats me.

************************************************** ********

RoboRIO brownout: A design flaw masquerading as a feature which was successfully obscured for two years through a combination of non-existent defense and historically brutal field elements called defenses.

************************************************** ********

Boulder consistency. (the latest game piece in a long-running gag)

************************************************** ********

FIRST Stronghold: A game in which your enemy is not the opposing alliance so much as the field itself (ref. The Hunger Games).

************************************************** ********

[another shameless theft]

Natasha: How do you win FRC regional?
Boris: I use stragedy.
Natasha: You mean Strategy, dahlink.
Boris: No, what happen to Moose and Squirrel, 's tragedy.

************************************************** ********

When do you know you're drinking the FIRST kool-aid?
When you send one of your best controls people to help a rookie team with a non-functional robot and they seed better than you. Then the next year you get a chance to mentor two rookie teams, and entheusiastically embrace both opportunities. [true 3946 story]

Edit: OBTW, this year we were the top ranked team at Bayou not selected for an alliance (#18). Both of the teams we mentored were very close behind us and "on the spot". On several levels, even a prouder moment than when we went to CMP.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

Me to someone--actually, multiple people at various points, IIRC:

That's TWO games those solenoids have ruined.

[backstory: the solenoids in the tower flags were apparently originally used for the hot goal reflective tape in Aerial Assist, where they weren't exactly up to the job. So rather than using servos... And the flags were the ref height reference for the camera poles.]


And another one: "We have standards." Or: "We have a standard." Depended on how many standards were in the robot barf box at that time.

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

Our intake

Re: Any good FIRST jokes?
 

Man, we really have a Low Bar for jokes this year.