The FIRST Devil's Dictionary
 

The Verge published a new edition of The Devil's Dictionary, after Ambrose Bierce's original of over a century ago. (A little strong language in there.)

I'm sure you've got some definitions of your own...

Blue banner (n.) An indisputable symbol of excellence in competition or onetime possession of $300.

Championship (n.) A systematic means of determining that you may or may not be the best in the world.

Cheesecake (v.) To run circles around an alliance partner to run circles around the opponent.

Corn dog (n.) Verification that one was paying attention in 2014.

OP (adj.) 1. Overpowered. 2. A captain who only idiots decline at alliance selection.

Scorched earth (adj.) Ensuring you will win your division by ensuring you will never win Einstein.

Let's hear them.

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Gracious Professionalism (n.): The crutch for so many people when they hear something they don't like or agree with in the FIRST world.

Rap music (n.): A mythical genre of music, generally frowned upon by FIRST at competitions when played.

Deodorant (n.): A hygiene item most well-adjusted human beings use to allow for breathable air in their general vicinity for other people.

Dance music (n.): A method of torture so heinous that the CIA outlawed its use in interrogation.

Scouting (v.): 1. Distraction for underclassmen and slackers on the teams that don't give a flip about winning. 2. Figuring out who's full of it.

Alliance selection (n.): A comedy show. See also schadenfreude (n.).

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Graciously Accepting (v.): Pointing out one's graciousness by ignoring rules of grammar and proper usage.

ROBOT! (n.): Exclamation designed to annoy others into safe practices. Highly ineffective.

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chiefdelphi (n): An internet bulletin board site where users can insult others' creations, or complain how things aren't how they used to be.

GDC (n): A collaboration of socially powerful people specifically created to not comment on individual designs.

Mentor (n): An adult who likes to play with children's toys, with children.

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mDNS (n.) - The reason it takes you minutes to connect to your 2015 bot but only seconds to connect to your 2014 bot.

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Mentor-built (adj.): A term describing a robot that is better than your own, and / or a robot with paint on it.

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Stall Torque (n): quantitative measure of a motor's capability to twist things until they break

Stall Current (n): quantitative measure of a motor's potential to release magic smoke, either from itself or from other electrically connected things

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Golden Skrew (n.): The award given to the highest seeded team who does not get picked for eliminations.

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Mecanum wheel (n.) A wheel for going in every direction if your programmers had just one more week with the drivetrain.

Duct tape (n.) A previously-banned substance so fatal to a robot's chances of getting picked it might as well still be.

Minibot (n.) A way to spend thousands of dollars on Tetrix motors for the least impressive demo feature ever.

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OPR (n.) Objectively Preferred Rating.
We seeded low but our OPR was the highest of all teams.

CCWM (n.) Consequently Calculated for a Worthier Metric.
We seeded low and the OPR put us in the middle of the pack, so we used CCWM instead to include our defensive prowess

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Average (n.) - In FRC scouting, the greatest element within a data set. Typically only occurs once in the data set. Often only on a practice field with no other robots.

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Noodle Agreement (n.) The backroom deal made over a bowl of ramen to strategically remove any possible strategic thinking from an FRC game through rule updates and FAQ responses.

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Always (adj.) - Happened once... if you squint your eyes and ignore the programmer kicking it a little. See also Average.

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chute door (n.) Yes, Chute Door. See 2015 Q163

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Finished (adj.) - the state of a robot, system, or component that appears to be mechanically complete, before any software is tested.

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Unprocessed litter (n.) All portions of pool noodles thrown on the field in the last match that haven't been put in the trash can yet.

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Picklist (n.) -Hastily written scribblings from 4 AM that are incomprehensible when it matters most,
or something the 5th-8th alliance captains never seem to have

Reveal Video (n.) -A series of thoroughly edited clips showing video of features your robot never actually had, and set to one of 5 different popular pop songs of the year, or alternatively, a screamo cover of a Justin Bieber song

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Nationals (n.) - a term that us old timers use when we've forgotten what year it is, See World Championship (n.), Worlds (n.)

Ship day (n.) - The day a completed robot was hastily packed into a large wooden box with a random assortment of graphics and numbers painted on the side, then shipped off to a faraway place, See Nationals (n.)

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2015 Q163 (n.) - Yes, Chute door. See Chute Door.

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Week 5 (n.): A magical land where programmers get to code the robot and drivers get their practice. Only certain teams know of its whereabouts.

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FRC (verb); an acronym standing for Forceful Robot Collisions. Note: Many consider this synonymous with the 2014 game Ariel Assist.

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Theory (n.) - A mythical place where all robot designs work.

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Ether (n) or aether; quintessence - the most perfect or typical example of a quality or class, has been known to help those computing OPR, CCWM or correct misinterpretations of mecanum wheels.

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Coopertition (n.) The concept that a team that cannot figure out how to help its alliance by working with teams on its own alliance, will somehow figure out how to help its alliance by working with teams on the other alliance.

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Stop Build Day (n): A day that is 45 days after teams start building their robots and 63 days before all teams have stopped.

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Game Hint (n): A device of mass torture, esp. one which functions best with the consent of the torturees.

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Watched pot - the period between placing all the robots on an FRC field and the robots actually obtaining sufficient field connectivity to run a match.

Implied threat - the action of field volunteer walking toward a robot or driver's station that is in 'watched pot' mode. Extra points if the robot or driver's station does this: :eek:

Knife switch semaphore - turn on or plug in your robot. They are more interesting like that.

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Pit (n) - A volume of space that will expand or contract depending on on who is looking at it. Normally fluctuates around 10'x10'x10'.

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Autonomous Mode (n): A moment of silence observed prior to every Week 1 or Week 2 match.

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Week 1 (n.) The opening weekend of regional and district tournament play...if not for those rebels in South Carolina.

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Swerve Drive (n.) - a set of mechanisms to ensure the robot will sit dead on the field for half of that robot's first event

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Sandstorm (n) A song played by the DJ to torture the crowd. Closely associated with the Chicken Dance.

Waterloo Regional (n) A contest to determine which lucky team gets to hitch a ride with OP and Simbotics.

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Chicken Dance (n.) The official dance of team 217 ThunderChickens.

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YMCA (n.) A song frequently played at FIRST events, especially in the common occurrence of a FMS crash.

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Bravo

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Andy Baker (n.) > Chuck Norris

Mecanum Wheel (n.) Meh' can um A type of wheel rejected by most. Revised 2015 1. Must have wheel for Recycle Rush 2. Key component of Andy Baker's retirement plan

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Beattie (n.) - (Almost) every team's excuse for why they did not win in the early '00s. See Also: BEAST

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Defense (n.) A role typically given to robots who can't do much more than drive. 2015 Revision Defense? What defense?

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But not actually finished :D :D

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Simbot SS (n) - The standard of yearly robot success

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pro·gram·mer
ˈprōˌɡramər/
noun

A person who inputs pizza, pop, and electronic music and outputs computer programs.

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pro·gram·mer
ˈprōˌɡramər/
noun

A person who inputs pizza, soda, and electronic music and outputs computer programs.


The Southern version.

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The people on a FIRST team responsible for all robot dysfunction:

unplugged - programming problem
falling apart - programming problem
smoking - programming problem

See also T800 - the eventual solution from the programming team for all the other parts of the team - which eventually results in the programmers being responsible for our new robot overlords :p. Let's blame it on the pizza and soda.

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Victor (n): An electronic device used sacrificially to prevent damage to a Fuse. Often also used to collect metal swarf. See also Jaguar.

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Bumper (n.)- An assembly of wood, fabric, and pool noodles that is more challenging to build than a 120 pound robot

Pizza (n.)- the energy source that fuels engineers

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Stack Overflow:
See "Recycle Rush"

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broken (n): 1. The state of a robot after programmers, drivers, or aerial assist have had their way with it.

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Offseason (n) - See build season.

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Dave Lavery (n.): A male individual, known for carrying red herrings, wearing shirts reminiscent of the 50th state, eating large amounts of fried plastic, and having vastly superior body-supporting limbs to Amanda Morrison.

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Aerial Assist (n.) The 2014 game. It's objective is to push the enemy alliance

Pedestal (n.) A container to permanently hold game objects. See Aerial Assist

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Pit Scouting (v.): The act of being deceived by a team's member about their robot's capabilities.

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Next year (n.) - the theoretical point at which your team will achieve a goal which you have thus far fallen short of.

Dean Kamen (n.) - our fearless, denim-clad leader and an inspiration to us all.

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Segue:
The source of balanced confusion when Dean Kamen presents during the transition of any competition and people keep looking for the Segway

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Echo Effect (n.) A type of modification to sound of any kind that creates a repeat of any sound entering the microphone. See 2015 Einstein Quarterfinals.

Bass (n.) An anomaly that causes speakers to vibrate the entire room they are in. See Closing Ceremonies.

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Robot Manual: (n.) 1. A book we all say we've read, but few actually have. 2. A glass house which some people claim is too opaque, and so throw stones in an attempt to bend.

See also: RTFM (n.)

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VEXpro (n.) Innovation First's method to make building FRC robots simple after losing the contract on their method to make controlling FRC robots simple.

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West Coast Drive (n.): Something every new CAD student will try to design without understanding the advantages of one, simply because powerhouse teams use them.

Swerve Drive (n.): Another thing every new CAD student will design, making the "lightest, strongest modules ever" and subsequently forgetting to include the weight of the motors powering it as well as pocketing way too aggressively.

Endgame (n.): A component of the game that isn't worth very much until powerhouse teams start completing them in faster and faster times. See also: Canburglaring (n.).

Powdercoated (adj.): An 100% accurate way identify the robots that the mentors clearly built all by themselves.

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Debugging (v.) when programmers bang their heads on the table because the code is correct but the robots not working properly

Deploying (v.) what programmers are doing when they aren't coding; see Break, Free Time

Semifinals (n.) the time at which the team packs up the pit

PID (n.) something that programmers waste hours of time on

LEDs (n.) the thing that distinguishes the good teams from the bad teams in the eyes of scouters

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Pool Noodle(n) 1. That thing Human Players throw (see Recycle Rush) to gain extra points 2. That thing I used to carry my team when the robot was not present on the field during competition

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Wall (N.) An inanimate object commonly used to stop robots with faulty autonomous code

2002 (N.) see Team Hammond

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Powdercoated plastic:
What happens when students learn a new trick...

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Teh Chezy Pofs(n.) An FRC team known to set the blue (banner) standard year in and year out. See also Simbotics

OP(n.) 1. An FRC team rumored to have never lost a Regional. 2. A dominant robot creating force that makes you smack your forehead at the end of each build season and ask yourself why you didn't just do what they did.

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Vision Processing (n.) the thing programmers say they're going to do every year but never have time for

Software Problem (n.) when the robot doesn't work properly

Robot (n.) a mythical object that programmers are always hearing about but never get to see or touch

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Lunacy (n.): 1. A benchmark used when talking about how bad the current year's game is. 2. The game that must not be named. See Lord Voldemort

Ariel Assist (n.): Let's go save the mermaid before Ursula gets her!

Mechanum (n.): An imaginary word used by individuals to prove their lack of knowledge of omni-directional drive systems.

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BBQ Statistics (n.) - A fun (and questionable) way to see the strength of a regional event.

Full Field (n.) - A magical environment which very few teams have, but many want.

Mountain Dew (n.) - Fuel that powers the programmers. See Pizza.

Magic Smoke (n.) - Powers motors and other electronic devices. Teams try their best to not release it. See Stall Current.

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Gregor (n.): A magical elf summoned by the forbidden word nationals.
See also Nationals

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Freshman (n.) Team go-fer and filer of all sharp corners.
Sophomore (n.) A freshman who came back and is now in charge of making said sharp corners.
Junior (n.) A sophomore who came back to lead the current crop of sophomores.
Senior (n.) A student team member (and possibly leader) who will not be a student team member for very long. Usually found by grabbing last year's juniors.
Rookie (n.) A person or team who doesn't know what they're getting into in FRC because it's their first time.
2nd-Year Veteran (n.) See Rookie, but with a little more experience.
Veteran (n.) A person or team who has been around a little while, knows what they're getting into, and still comes back. Also see lunatic.

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Match winner (n.) A breed that had a startling near-extinction event in the year 2015. Only the strongest survived.

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Powerhouse (adj.) An adjective assigned with any team that is better than yours.

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Primary Driver (n): Student driver that typically controls the movement of the robot. May or may not actually know what the buttons do.

Secondary Driver (n): Student driver that typically controls the movement of a manipulator or non-drive subsystem. Claims to know the buttons better than the primary driver, but most likely doesn't.

Human Player (n): The student on the drive team who typically introduces game pieces into the field. Usually decided by selecting the one student who earns the least amount of foul points for touching the wrong thing at the wrong time. Doesn't have to know any buttons.

Drive Coach (n): The only student/mentor on the drive team who actually knows all the buttons, but cannot, by the rules, use them, therefore resorting to yelling directions towards the primary and secondary drivers between communications with other teams during the match. See Conductor, Commander, or Dictator.

Match Strategy (n): The result of three drive coaches or other appointed strategists arguing in the queue about who is going to do what and how during the upcoming match.

Queue (n): Somewhere teams should be on time but are always late to.

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FMS (n.): An almost incomprehensible collection of computers, wires, and network switches designed to never connect your robot and Driver Station on the first attempt. See mDNS.

Field Fault (n.): One of the many FMS standard operating procedures and the one you pray for when a mach is going poorly. Usually appears once in every 15 matches for no reason.

Christmas Tree (n.): The only festive phrase that will make FTAs universally frustrated. See Field Fault.

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Average Match Score (n): something that people only talked about during Recycle Rush

Harpoons (n): A beautiful idea.

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Indiana Robotics Invitational (n.) A competitive event and the bane of world champions. See OP Robotics.

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Drive Practice (n.): Time used for testing the autonomous functions of a robot every night the mechanical team is not modifying the robot.

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Robot Troubleshooting(v.): A time when everyone blames the programmers for the robot not working but in reality it's electrical's/build's fault.

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Aerial Assault(n.): Nothing but assaulting in this game, which led to police inquiry (refs.) about charges (fouls).

Picklist(n.): Horribly organized sheet of paper that is barely readable, and is only understandable by one person. No proper sense of rankings based on robot performance or role, just an assortment of random numbers on paper.

Match Strategy(n.): A rock paper scissors show off between 3 teams to chose which strategy to go with.

Alliance Selections(n.): A session where alliance captains pick random numbers.

Heat Gun(n.): Your build season replacement for a microwave.

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Referee Panel (n.): A device used to score an alliance or robot. In 2014 also used to enrage human players waiting for the pedestal to light up signaling the OK to start a new cycle after a goal was scored. See Aerial Assist

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Bumper(n.): a soft protective device that usually (2010-2014) has a team's number hastily scrawled on with a sharpie marker. They tend to be very unique, often in defiance of attempts to standardize such.

Christmas Tree(n.): A bright and colorful cue from FMS for the DJ to play the chicken dance, YMCA, cupid shuffle, or the hokey pokey. Also a cue for the FTA(s), FTAA(s), and Scorekeeper(s) to suddenly appear as if they really, really, REALLY dislike said music, usually in form of a scowl.

Corn(n.): Indiana's universal fuel that powers everything. Considered a viable alternative to batteries for the 2016 game (Indiana district teams only :D ).

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*sensible clapping*

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Also considered by some (see: GDC) to be a viable alternative to carpet.



Referee (n.) Person responsible for making the right call regarding interaction on the field, which invariably offends someone else who, not having read the rules, thinks it should have gone the other way.

Question Box (n.) Obscure square of tape on the floor, often but not always near the scoring table. Used to yell atdiscuss a call with the Head Referee.

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Arial Assist (n.): A game where times new roman (among other infractions) results in a 50 point Technical Foul.

Technical Foul(n.): A soul-crushing 50 point penalty. Second only to a Red Card. In 2014, these were assigned by a lottery, of unknown explainable algorithm.

Red Card(n.): The mother of all punishments on the field. The nightmare of drive teams, and in 2015, a form of execution in playoffs. See Stack Attack

Stack Attack(n.): 1. The 2003 FRC game that is among the top three worst games according to most. 2. In 2015, a large scale game of dominoes. A common cause of death in playoffs. See also Darwin Awards.

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2015(n.)- a game based off of opr
2014(n.)- a game based off of crashing, six sided bumpers and 254 winning
2013-2011(n.)- the good old days
2009(n.)- the bad old days
Simbotics(n.)- the best team in the world, FRC 1114, trades this spot every other year to The Cheesy Poofs
The Cheesy Poofs(n.)- also the best team in the world, FRC 254, trades this spot every other year to Simbotics
HOT(n.)- Heroes Of Tomorrow, the team even 1114 and 254 are scared of, FRC 67, inventors of the utility arm
Bobcats(n.)- The team that has gone to Einstein 435 years in a row*, FRC 177
OP(n.)- FRC 2056, a regional win that ways 120 lbs
High Rollers(n.)- the only team to have a turret in 2013, FRC 987
Scorch and burn(v.)- Official strategy of 1678, very effective
Intake(n.)- spinning wheels on the front of your robot
Six Wheel Drive(n.)- the best drive train in FRC
Sleep(n.)- an illusion from the first Sunday of January to mid February
Reveal Video(n.)- a video in which your robot always looks really good
First Day of Build Season(n.)- a combination of Christmas, Thanksgiving, Birthday, Easter and Halloween
Friends(n.)- people your age that will tolerate you showing them 118's reveal video from Aerial Assist for the 15th time
Real Friends(n.)-people your age that will tolerate you showing them 118's reveal video from Aerial Assist, then argue 1986's was better
The Best Team in FRC(n.)- the team you are on

*FRC 177 has only gone 7 times in a row, 435 is a slight exaggeration

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Arena (n): A structure in which every dimension that matters is constructed outside the tolerances specified in the field drawings (see Bistromathics, recipriversexclusion)
Water Game (n): The universal solvent solution for game hints according to a variety of CD posters.
Offseason (n): A fairy tale told to help keep rookies going for a few more hours.
Game Reveal Day (n): FIRST's answer to Mardi Gras / Carnival / Shrove Tuesday / Pancake Day. That is, it is the last, greatest celebration which precedes a six-week season of penitence and self-denial.
Stop Build Day (n), also known as Bag and Tag: Another fairy tale told to help keep rookies going for a few more hours when "Offseason" seems too far away.
masochist (n): within the FIRST context, a null descriptive term for a person.
Working Sensor Software (n): A product delivered by the program team which ensures that the sensor will be mechanically damaged beyond repair, and possibly replacement, in the immediate future.
CIM (n), also called CIM motor: the most robust container for blue smoke allowed in FRC.
RoboRIO brownout (v, n): The GDC's alternative to limiting the number of motors allowed on a robot.
Team Q&A (n): The GDC's means of injecting requirements drift into even the most disciplined development processes.
Practice Field (n): A facility at an FIRST competition which is only available when your team is scheduled to be in the queue or a match.
Game Reveal Video (n): The earliest and most reliable information as to how each season's game will not actually be played.

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Break the game (adj.): Describes a rule modification made just prior to competition beginning, because the GDC didn't see it coming. Also see He Made Me Do It.

Raul Rule (n.): A rule modification made after competition begins, because the GDC didn't see it coming. See Stacking Robots.

He Made Me Do It (adj.): Describes a Get Out Of Jail Free rule, usually invoked to avoid a Red Card, but sometimes just a foul. Not always present in all rule sets.

Referee (n.): A volunteer who is expected to start at perfection, and steadily improve thereafter.

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Plowie (n): A mythical, cartoonish creation resembling a Reveal Video favorite, Dozer, whose mere mention raises an enraged Dave Lavery from his slumber for a brief episode of spittle-flying and general humbuggery.

Cotton Eyed Joe (n): A series of unintelligible noises that gives me the irresistible urge to go to the bathroom.

Game Announcer (n): A human with a microphone that is ignored by everybody. Only intelligible on unmuted webcasts, which do not actually exist.

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Inspection (v.) 1. The first time that many rookie teams learn the robot rules. 2. A process during which teams are asked to put electrical tape over sharp edges of their robot, which will fall off shortly into the first match. 3. Something your alliance partner has not passed.
Opening Ceremonies (n.) Something that allegedly takes place while you're in the pits getting your drive code working.

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Jaguar (n): see Satan

Pool Noodle (n): how to make your low-seed alliance competitive

Also, a time when everyone blames the electrical team for the robot not working but in reality it's programming/build's fault. Also, a time when everyone blames the mechanical team for the robot not working but in reality it's electrcal/programming's fault, although this never happens.

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#2Champs (n.) - The end of days, see also Championsplit

Mentor (n.) - What builds robots that are better than yours

NASA (n.) - The group that probably built the world champions

Chairmans Award (n.) - The award your team totally deserved to win and don't the judges know anything gosh

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Fault testing:
The process, allegedly, by which issues in a project are identified and repairs are scoped. In actuality it is the more mature version of 'The Musical Chairs of Blame'. See also fatalism

Fatalism:
I accept your criticism because I simply am tired of pretending the musical chairs fix the problem and the time between matches, seasons and life is insufficient to play 'The Musical Chairs of Blame'.

Musical Chairs of Blame:
Usually done to the mimed version of "Clair De Loon".

Clair De Loon:
The homophone of "Clair De Lune" with deepest condolences to Clause Debussy for his unwitting contribution to this humor. See also homophone

Homophone:
Segway meets segue and America English is reduced to the common denominator of greater usage versus grammatical correctness ;)

Canada:
Better 'armed' than NASA.

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DPR (Defensive Power Rating) (n.)

(1) 2015: Every team had the number but shouldn't have it. :D

(2) <=2014: Every team had the number but it was never looked at or known how it was calculated. :D

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Question Box (n.) [REVISION]

Obscure square of tape on the floor, often but not always near the scoring table. Used to yell atdiscuss a call with the Head Referee. Only used every once in a while, usually referee is questioned / yelled at from anywhere.

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C++ (n.) An arcane language devised by wizards hundreds of years ago.
Also the lightest language officially supported by NI/WPI. (Very helpful if your robot is close to the weight limit.)

Programming Mentor (n.) One of the above-mentioned wizards.

Camera (n.) A mythical object that the Electrical subteam promises to put on the robot. See also Vision Processing.

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Weight Limit (n.) A mythical number that, invariably, your team will end up slightly above.

1" Drill Bit (n.) The tool that only comes into use once a year when the weight limit is breached

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Custom Dashboard (n.) a method of determining how much free time your programmers have

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John V-Neun (n.) Someone that at some point everyone was.

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No no no, everyone knows that he wrote the first version of Excel. ;)

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Einstein (n) - Straight madness

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Driver Meeting (n.) A meeting betweeen the drive teams and the head ref. Typically this is the period of time to ask questions that were clearly stated in the rule book, and learn how to play the game.

Lead Quer (n.) The person you apoligize to, and promise to be on time next time to when you are late to queing.

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DPR (n): The stat your team points to when neither its OPR nor its CCWM are impressive.

CAD Software (n): 1) Your greatest enemy. 2) Your greatest ally.

Safety Glasses (n): The catch-all piece of safety equipment.

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Mechanical Monkeys (n.) a group of people on an FRC team with low intelligence that are usually wielding a wrench; a phrase commonly used by programmers

Hard Stop (n.) a device used to break parts of a robot when a sensor should be used but isn't; see Mechanical Monkeys

CRio (n.) an antiquated device no longer used in FRC; another name for RoboRio when members forget that there is a new control system