..and you messed up the SHU. "What is the SHU?" you asked, and to that Kamen the Grey said "Eh... long story." And so you responded....

"Get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich!"
And then...

Kamen the Grey became enraged and pulled out his SHU measuring stick, hopped on his Segway, and...

Like a knight charged towards woody .... but just before he speared woody with the SHU stick, he realized that....

something was not right. "Wasn't DJ here a minute ago?" Kamen the Gray thought. "He must have used a spell to trick me into thinking he was Woodie! So Kamen the Gray decided to give his opponent an intelligence to prove that Woodie was really DJ in disguise. He figured this would work because everyone knows that ...

if the SHU fits, wear it, beside no one would disguise themselves to look like Woody when there were so many....

other good disguises available that didn't involve wearing a button vest or a tux and white shoes, because we all know that...

those are the clothes aliens look for when they want new patients.

So Kamen the grey dressed in a tux and white SHUs, and continued to measure stacks of bins until he found a stack of enough SHUs to be mount First.

Unfortunately, the stack was made of bins turned sideways, and he discovered that Mt. FIRST was too high, and thus had negative points! This was totally unacceptable, so...

..he said to himself, "i am insane" and went on to...

the really cool lab in his basement! "I must redefine the SHU!" He proclaimed. "In order to do this, I am going to need some rivets, a lot of rubber, a jar of peanut butter and ..."

a herring! A herring? Yes, a herring, because...

everyone knows fish are the official measuring device of the Standard system. Since the bulk of the competitions reside in the US of A, metric seemed "unpatriotic" so...

Saddam Hussein comes to the US and ice fishes, and then bush comes up, takes a rocket launcher, shoves it up his bobba, and pulls the trigger, and then.....