he found a quarter so he bought a gum ball in Houston. But this was no ordinary gumball for you see....

... those who chewed it became Dean Kamen for 24 hours...

So Brandon took this magical gumball and pondered whether to use it or sell it on ebay, and while all the devoted CD fans watched he...

...Popped it in his mouth and suddenly felt a tingling sensation as...

he started talking and he couldnt stop, so

he nearly gave away all the trade secrets of DEKA, but luckily the real Dean Kamen came in and...

...used the radiation coming from the gears in the Chairman's Award to...

... get steve jobs to tell him how to get people hooked on products...

and Steveo said, "Oh we la de le oh weh lah de!"

as he and Dean officially unveiled the iSegway...

there was a fire on the stage they all went running out and...

..Then all the FIRSTers started throwing the Mt. Shasta water at the stage to put out the fire, but.......

since they only let them take two bottles, and everyone poured it on each other...

they soon found out that they ran out of water. To resolve this, they...

booted up the "Aqua" interface of Jaguar on the iSegway, and used a pin to puncture the LCD panel, allowing the water from the liquid smooth "Aqua" interface to pour out onto the stage. Once the fire was out...

people ran in panic. All of a sudden, someone came to see what was wrong. That person then found out that...

he left his pet monkey back in Walla-Walla, Washington, so

he dug a tunnel to walla-walla only to find out that...

that he'd taken a wrong turn at Albequerque, and was now in...

Houston, TX...which suprised him because...

..His tunnel led him right to the 50 yd line of the former Astrodome, and to his amazement he saw......

The astrodome hasnt been used as an NFL footall field since the Oilers moved to Tennessee in 1997. So....


:p

he shruged and looked for a place to buy hotdogs, snowcones, and mountain dew because...

he heard that Fluck was doing another round of Mountain Dew Bowling!!!

Instantly, he knew he just had to join in, because...

he was told that D.J. retired from MDB as the undefeated world champion.

But then Walt Disney himself rose from the freezer to challange Fluck to a round of MDB.

"Fluck" he said, "I have made millions of children happy. This means I will totally own you at MDB" as he pulled out his secret weapon which was...

.. A bowling ball in the shape of Mickey's head. "But Walt", DJ said, "How does that thing roll being that weird of a shape?" and to that Walt replied "........

"I can do anything. I am Walt Disney. Although I do bow to the god of MDB."

DJ then put on his favorite Packers jersey and started the game...

He must have been dead, because D.J. would never be caught living wearing mechandise from those losers :-p. On the other side of the country,

but he realized he wasn't in the usa, so he decided to...

Fly back, just in time to watch the Packers annihilate the Bills. Because the Bills lost ...

.Yet another super bowl, staying true to the initials of their name of , BILLS = Boy I Love Losing Superbowls!!! But there was a dim light at the end of this tunnel, and that was...

the entrance to the Bog of Eternal Stench. It smelled so bad that...

it awoke him from this nightmare, just in time to say ...

.. Live, from New York .. its Saturday Night.......

live on top of the.....

covers hearing the

donkey eat the.....

monkey and listening to

some techno music. Later...

he realized how horrible techno music really was, and decided to turn on his all-time, favorite band - the Dixie Chicks! Just then ...

he awoke out of his stage of stupidity, smashed the cd, and put in the new audioslave cd.

He thought

he had forgotten something, so he...

stopped the cd player and ran out side to play DDR, but...

then he realized he did not have any shoes on, so he

wondered why this thread turned into an unauthorized biography, so he called his lawyer and sued people.

The lawer came in and examined the thread as evidence, but developed some form of disease while reading through the posts, because...

the post was just getting so long that....

he got carpel tunnel syndrome from clicking the mouse so much, eventually he could no longer go on, so D.J called his personal....

assistant and asked her to...

get one of those droid lawyers. But the droid...

begged Brandon (the great and powerful wizard of the website) to .....

help out but he said

``Sorry, I'm too busy making a special little "keep the honest people honest" hack for the game-threads in the Chit-Chat forum.''

So D.J. decided to take the law into his own hands and call the US Army.

The phone was busy, so...

He called the marines and got through quickly, he got in touch with an old friend, and asked if he could borrow there new high tech...

X-ray vision goggles. He needed to see through the...

the magic briefcase which contains....

the launch codes for...

a rocket made of cheese that will travel to...

the moon because everyone knows the moon is made of cheese and...

not rock, because rock is just so...

not cheese, and if its not cheese then....

it can't be the moon. DJ hoped an offer of free moon cheese would get Brandon to...

destroy the thread and remove it from the list ;)

"but the power of the thread was too strong..." and the quest to cast the thread into the fires of mount. doom II begun.

but since the power of the thread has frodo so disturbed, it started taking over his mind and turning him into gollum. But luckily, just in time......

he needed some syrup.... it was nowhere to be found, can't have pancakes without syrup .. he opened the pantry and....

A curious ring fell to the floor. He picked up up and suddenly ...

he was back where he started in this whole dilemma, only now it was a ring, not a thread. He decided to...

wait until kaman the gray came to explain what this new found ring was...

to rule them all? no, that couldn't have been right, that's been done... so he decided that instead this ring must be clipped and made into a mobius strip, which falsified every...

truth, that mankind had ever known. So then, kaman the gray said ...

you must take this ring...er...mobius strip and cast it into the stacked bins of Mt. FIRST and...

and in a giant flash of light the stack will fall because you tripped and hit it

..and you messed up the SHU. "What is the SHU?" you asked, and to that Kamen the Grey said "Eh... long story." And so you responded....

"Get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich!"
And then...

Kamen the Grey became enraged and pulled out his SHU measuring stick, hopped on his Segway, and...

Like a knight charged towards woody .... but just before he speared woody with the SHU stick, he realized that....

something was not right. "Wasn't DJ here a minute ago?" Kamen the Gray thought. "He must have used a spell to trick me into thinking he was Woodie! So Kamen the Gray decided to give his opponent an intelligence to prove that Woodie was really DJ in disguise. He figured this would work because everyone knows that ...

if the SHU fits, wear it, beside no one would disguise themselves to look like Woody when there were so many....

other good disguises available that didn't involve wearing a button vest or a tux and white shoes, because we all know that...

those are the clothes aliens look for when they want new patients.

So Kamen the grey dressed in a tux and white SHUs, and continued to measure stacks of bins until he found a stack of enough SHUs to be mount First.

Unfortunately, the stack was made of bins turned sideways, and he discovered that Mt. FIRST was too high, and thus had negative points! This was totally unacceptable, so...

..he said to himself, "i am insane" and went on to...

the really cool lab in his basement! "I must redefine the SHU!" He proclaimed. "In order to do this, I am going to need some rivets, a lot of rubber, a jar of peanut butter and ..."

a herring! A herring? Yes, a herring, because...

everyone knows fish are the official measuring device of the Standard system. Since the bulk of the competitions reside in the US of A, metric seemed "unpatriotic" so...

Saddam Hussein comes to the US and ice fishes, and then bush comes up, takes a rocket launcher, shoves it up his bobba, and pulls the trigger, and then.....

just like the doll in "The Rock", Hussein opens his mouth and starts shooting corrosive nerve gas everywhere, so...

Bush puts on his gas-mask he had under his Jacket. Meanwhile his dog is busy...

...relieving himself in the clearly marked "Democrats Only" section of the senate, so...

the democrats took his pants and, oddly enough, wore them on their heads while he was...

dancing around the Senate floor wielding his SHU stick and a...