Everyone in life is destined to do three things:
1. Be born
2. Do stuff
3. Die


***
My voicmail is thus:

Hey!....
Hello...?
Anyone there?
Oh wait! I know why I can't hear you...I'M A MACHINE!!! Leave a message. *beep*

(here)
bad

my favourite

stefi is away, reason: eating

lol!

food rox!

:D :D

One I use every now and then,

"Newton claimed that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Translation: I'm in the can!"


:D :D That one always get's a laugh! :D :D

personally i'm a fan of the following:

"don't you hate when people put up away messages that don't say where they're going or when they'll be back!?"

or for when you're going to school:

" 'I know it's childish, but then again, so is high school'
- Ferris Bueller"

I don't see very many funny away messages. One of my old ones quoted a Foster Farm's Chicken commercial...

"Candy corn?! Real corn?! That's just a technicality!!"

I personally like this one:

"Be back 20 mins after %t"

the one i use reads: I'm away from my computer right now, be back soon, unless of course i fall down and die, in that case, nice talking to you

my shower one
 

*waddles in frustration*
*waddles to bank*
*jumps into icy water with soap*
*scrubs!*

For one of My away messages I have really bad test answers that were taken off tests from around the country, they took the funniest one and put them together, then I took the ones I really liked and made my away message:

"Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state."

"Blood flows down one leg and up the other."

"When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide."

"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."

"The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader."

I have boring away messages.. here is my list:

not here

sleep

shower

still not here

yeah.. theres this thing called sleep.. maybe you should go and investigate it :)

big research project due tomorrow: effects of sleep on student before the day a big research project is due and it aint done.

I know you're there! You're just sitting there reading my away message but you'll never IM me.. I see how it is! Im on to you now..

(actually someone admitted to that once.. lol)


Yeah.. I love away messages..

I have the most random away msgs sometimes. This weekend I went with a traffic theme. Such as

"stop. stop. stop. stop. stop. stop. stop. stop.

the life of a stop sign."

and

"go. slow down. stop. go. slow down. stop. go. slow down. stop.

the life of a traffic light"



Maybe I have too much time...

hmmm
 

some of my away messages are so temperamental....

"in pain ... happy?"

"i am chillign out right now... therefore i am cool" [this one is sad]

"check my subprofeil"[sadder]

i just liek my shower one....all that waddlign!

i love the idle messages most of all...
the kind like "Someone remind me to put up an away message when I leave, so you are not forced to sit and read this one. . ."

but on away messages, i, being a swimmer and a really big band geek (and apparently now a big robotics geek ;)), am a fan of the themed messages that no one understands.
for example:

"yay! free food! yay! cute guys!
pasta parties=one of the great things about swimming...hehe"

or

"DO IT UP, HIGHTSTOWN! yeah, again, im at a band function.

Are you ready to get down?
Yes we are.
I said, are you ready to get down?
yes we are!
I said, tilt me, tilt me, tilt me
Hightstown! Hightstown! Hightstown!"

or

"can of air....$6
2 sets of labels....$15
McDonald's for all....$28
spending countless hours in front of a working robot....priceless"

then there's the away messages that only apply to some of your friends. like this one:

"i'm at USY, yes Rachel, USY that fun place where we eat kosher chinese food and such...be back around 8:30 ish"

okay, i'm done before you get all 50 away messages that i have on my computer ;)

I used to have some great ones but now most of them are gone.

These are my favorites now:
~
"Did you get a look at her eyes? They were empty, boss. Nothing. Like, no brain or something."
~
Here's a freewrite:
~
And then the nun just leaps out of bed, right! She's like, freaking out or something. I swear, she must have some kind of psychic link or maybe an intuitive paranoia... And she yells to herself "Something is not right!" and busts down the stairs, I tell you what, I have never seen a nun run like that before.
~
^I love that one.

For Saturday morning breakfast:
~
I love a good morning conversation...thank you very much.

Yes, a cup of tea milk and two sugars?
~
And finally, the most random yet awesome of all-geometry-spawned away messages:
~
linear pears form supplementary mangoes
~