hmmm
 

this is my friend away message

To begin your plan, you must first Traumatize a Pope. This will cause the world to sit up and take notice, stunned by your arrival. Who is this Really Bad Guy? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in a Corporate Suit?

Next, you will Desecrate United Nations. This will cause countless hordes of Mean English Teachers to flock to you, begging to do your every bidding. Your name will become synonymous with Dear God No, as lesser men whisper your name in terror.

Finally, you will Unleash your Secret Death Ray, bringing about Horrors beyond Man's Comprehension. This will all be done from a Underground Secret Headquarters of Doom, an excellent choice if we might say. These three deeds will herald the end, and the citizens of this planet will have no choice but to elect you their new god.

"The reason that I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.:)- George Carlin"

Once a puppet, never a george foreman grill.

"I'm lost. I've gone to look for myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait." <--not original, but funny.

Early last year I started using "ing" away messages like "Dinnering" or "Homeworking"... before that, I hadn't seen a single one like that on my 200 sn buddy list. Now, however, I see stuff like that all the time on my list.

Another favorite:

"Schtuff" - which is also appearing more and more often

"age"

Dinnerage
Foodage
Homeworkage
Sleepage
Cheelage (Cheel is a building on campus)

My 2 most frequent used are

"Burning things-
more or less it's probably a cd"

"piano if you're normal
cixelsyd er'uoy fi onaip"

And occationally if i feel like being really strange...

"Trying to get new hair style...
sticking finger in a light socket
brb"

those are cute matt, i've never seen them before, but i have tons. i got three from my psychology book, but i'm not gonna put them up cuz they prolly aren't appropriate. but i have a bunch that i make up or find on joke sites, such as:

If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100
people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would
look something like the following:
57 Asians
21 Europeans
14 from the Western Hemisphere, both north and south
8 Africans;
52 would be female
48 would be male;
70 would be non-white
30 would be white;
70 would be non-Christian
30 would be Christian;
89 would be heterosexual
11 would be homosexual;
6 people would possess 59% of the entire world's wealth and all
6 would be from the United States;
80 would live in substandard housing;
70 would be unable to read;
50 would suffer from malnutrition;
1 would be near death; 1 would be near birth;
1 (yes, only 1) would have a college education;
1 would own a computer


and when i'm feeling informing or just plain annoying (which is actually very often!):

Today's useless fact - Why do the hands on wristwatches in
advertisements usually show the time as about 10:10?

This particular arrangement of the hands is used because it nicely frames the name of the watch, which is usually in the upper half of the face, because it doesn't cover any writing in the lower half of the face, and because it is pleasingly symmetrical.


basically all my messages are really long, but i also have boring ones when i just don't feel like talking:

to be totally honest with all of you... i just don't really feel like talking. i'm too lazy and band camp just ended. i got very little sleep last night, and i'm just kinda really really bored, so unless you have a really good topic to discuss (i'm open for suggestion) then i prolly won't talk to you...

I use these all the time

I'm working right now... but next time I decide to procrastinate, I'll get back to you.

I'm on the phone right now and I'm not gifted enough to talk on the phone and type at the same time so leave a message

I am on a quest to the deepest darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for a may not return alive.

Awaymessages.com has a lot of good ones

One of my friends currently has this as his away message:

"You have just recieved the Amish computer virus. Since the Amish don't have computers, they base it on the honors system... so if you could delete all the files from your computer, I would appreciate it. Thank you for your cooperation. :)"

I love it! :D

- Katie