Chief Delphi - Science jokes.....

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Quote:

Originally posted by Scottie2Hottie
Daniel D. Van Hoy wrote:
>Just think: When you drop a cat from a few feet, it lands upright.
>Also think: When you drop a piece of buttered bread, it lands with
>the buttered side down
>Now think: If you strapped a piece of buttered bread to the back
>of a cat, which would land first.

....

This leaves unanswered the question about buttering the cat directly. If you were to butter the cat's back, upon release the cat would immediately assume an inverted posture, and then start to yaw back and forth, on the most valuable nearby porous surface, suggesting a relationship between the butter and the value of, and distance to, the surface. This might be an area for further research.

Quote:

Originally posted by ssjcell
ya my phys. teacher also has these reallly corny jokes and like rhymes he constantly comes up with alota the time they have nothing to do with physics but i think ill start posting whatever he says that is really not taht funny

him and our advisor came up with this
birdy birdy in the sky
whyd you do that in my eye

thank god cows cant fly
birdy birdy in the sky

Actually there is a phrase that goes: *ahem*
Birdy, birdy in the sky
Why'd you turdy in my eye?
I'm a big kid I won't cry
I'm just glad that cow don't fly.
At any rate my old field bio teacher had some really bad one liners his favorite was from the acids and bases unit we did:
"OK class I am now passing out the acids you will be testing. You better not drop them, I do not tolerate any illegal activity in my class." Har Har he had others but I don't remember them right now.

Re: Science jokes.....

I'm a bit surprised no one put this one here:

Two hydrogen atoms are walking down the street.
One says to the other, "I lost an electron."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive."

My chemistry teacher says it's the lamest joke on Earth, but he keeps on reminding us of it. (It's supposedly good for remember how to notate ions.)

Re: Science jokes.....

Back to buttered bread...

Quote:

Tumbling toast, Murphy's Law and the Fundamental Constants

European Journal of Physics 16 172-176 1995

There's a widespread suspicion among the public that toast sliding off a plate or table has a natural tendency to land butter side down, thus providing prima facie evidence for Murphy's Law: "If something can go wrong, it will". Most scientists, in contrast, dismiss such belief as ludicrous. Indeed, an investigation by the BBC-TV science programme Q.E.D. in 1993 claimed to have proved definitively that the whole notion was nothing but an urban myth. However, as I show in the paper, the experiments carried out by the programme were dynamically inappropriate (in that they consisted of people simply tossing buttered bread into the air - hardly common practice around the breakfast table). When the problem of toast sliding off a plate or table is examined more carefully - with the toast modelled as a thin, rigid, rough lamina - it turns out that the public perception is quite correct. Toast does indeed have a natural tendency to land butter side down, essentially because the gravitation torque induced as the toast topples over the edge of the plate/table is insufficient to bring the toast butter-side up again by the time it hits the floor. Note that this has nothing to do with some aerodynamic effect caused by one side being buttered - it is just gravity, plus a bit of friction.However, I go on to show that the tumbling toast phenomenon has far deeper roots than one might expect. If tables were a lot higher - around 3 metres high - the problem of toast landing butter-side down would go away, as the toast would have enough time to complete a full rotation. So why are tables the height they are ? Simple: to be convenient for humans. So why are humans the height they are ? Using a simple chemical bonding model of the human frame, I show that there is a limit to the safe height for bipedal, essentially cylindrical creatures like humans. The limit is around 3 metres - above that height, a simple fall results in gravity accelerating the skull to such a high kinetic energy that the chemical bonds in the skull are ruptured, causing severe fracturing. This limit, in turn, sets a maximum height on tables suitable for creatures with human articulation of about 1.5 metres - which is still not high enough to prevent toast landing butter-side down. It thus seems that human-like organisms are doomed to experience this manifestation of Murphy's Law.

But then comes the real cosmic twist in the tale. The formula giving the maximum height of humans turns out to contain three so-called "fundamental constants of the universe". The first - the electromagnetic fine-structure constant - determines the strength of the chemical bonds in the skull, while the second - the gravitational fine-structure constant - determines the strength of gravity. Finally, the so-called Bohr radius dictates the size of atoms making up the body. The precise values of these three fundamental constants were built into the very design of the universe just moments after the Big Bang. In other words, toast falling off the breakfast table lands butter-side down because the universe is made that way.

...

1996 Robert A.J. Matthews

I rather liked this explanation...

Re: Science jokes.....

Here's a really bad math joke, I forget where I heard it.

A bunch of numbers are at a party and e^x is standing alone in a corner looking depressed. So one of the other numbers goes over to e^x and says, "Integrate yourself." But e^x says, "Why, it won't change anything."

Re: Science jokes.....

Lucas Electric - Prince Of Darkness

In 1947, Lucas tried to get Parliament to repeal Ohm's Law. They withdrew their efforts when they met too much resistance.