Quotes of the Season
 

What is your favorite quote from this 2002-2003 robotics season? It can be from anyone.. a student, an engineer, an announcer, anything FIRST related! :D

One of the more interesting ones I remember is "Oh my gosh, The Beast gets taken down..woah, first time this year!"

funny quote
 

After winning the central fl regional, we qualified for nationals. So on the busride home someone said we should drive straight to houston. I then said yeah we'll stay in houston for a month. Another person the procedes to say "ITS NOT A MONTH, ITS FOUR WEEKS." Pretty mouch anyone who heard that spent the next 2 min. on the floor of the bus laughing.

"If it works, then its obviously not complicated enough."

"That's not damaged! Its a design enhancement!"

While we were organizing stuff-

"Hammer"
"lets put that in 'tools of persuasion'

another fuuny quote
 

After the robot had been shipped about 4 or 5 of us went down to motorola to clean out the shop. One team member was using one of those industrial vacuums, and all of the sudden shouts

"HEY RODRIGO, THIS THING HAS MORE HORSEPOWER THAN YOUR CAR."

Well, we had a slogan that went over big in Nats...

"Our Robot Sucks, Come see why"

And my personal slogan is "Drive it like you stole it.."

'Cloooooooooooooooossssssseee enough!'

'If it ain't done twice, it ain't done right.'

'What happened? ... the robot fell on his head.'

Actual quotes:

"Someone grab a fire-extinguisher!"

"Don't think, just drill"

"Kingman...I found part of your robot" -Dave Lavery @ LA closing ceremony

*brandishing thunderstick* "DIIIIEEEE!!!!!"

"The hardest part of building the robot is figuring out what to build" - Said by yours truly, to much laughter from our teacher and sponsor

That was so great!

And then some guy in the crowd yelled - "Broken by 696!"

Too many to pick from!
 

Wow--our team is so full of interesting ppl that there are great quotes every day.
One I really remember is from our programmer, who is a high school junior...he had been working on the program hardcore for Cleveland, I think, and had had very little sleep. He was pretty much passed out in the front of the bus and he said something that no one could understand, and someone asked "Catlain, have you been drinking?"

And his response was "Only in moderation."

So you might not find this amusing, but if you knew, if you even SAW this kid, you would understand the hilarity of the moment.

"I can't...I have robotics"

Robot Design
"The wings were designed to break. It is a quick break-away design feature"

Anouncer after our robot broke and became immoblie at the bottom of ramp in Archemedies match 123
"GeroniMOE is guarding the ramp"
"GeroniMOE lying in wait"
"Now GeroniMOE. They are just in a good postion, there're blocking WildStang"

"You just volunteered yourself!"

I said this so many times that there was a point when people asked me if I could do something and all I had to do was look at them, and they would say it for me!

5 minutes before rushing to the field
"Ummm, guys, i think we have a problem..nothing on the robot is working, the lights arent even blinking. i checked all the wiring and made sure that the switch was on."....."Dude, look around, notice anything missing?" - pause - "ohh, yeah, it might need one of those (battery)"

ditto


"I dreamed of nuts and bolts last night,"

Hey, did you guys ever get the "trophy" that they said they were going to send you? :D

The announcer Don Knight (1011 loves you btw!) at the Arizona Regional when CRUSH, team 1011 was first to hit the wall of bins during autonomous mode in a match:

"Look at that, a rookie taking down the wall!"

"I build robots"

They'll be sending it soon.

my saying, for almost any situation

"Is that a challenge?"

my current favorite quote has to be attributed to Carlo... who tried it on everyone... even the ticket lady at The Pond.

"I build Robots.... does that turn you on?"

Anything relating to Tippy the Wonder-bot. Especially jakes song (using the theme from weird al's Harvey the Wonder Hampster)

and of course the great pins we made with eachothers names on them... for example...

"Hi my name is Ducky and I build robots.... HUG ME."

PS-never leave MOE people un-supervised with the Button Makers... hint hint.... AMAN!!!

Carlos quote works like a charm, it worked for him at the pond
it worked with the lady at the smoothy stand at six flags, coco and i got a discount on our drinks,
and dont for get "HI my name is Kyle and I build robots.....HUG me."
that also worked really well.. :)

A memorable quote from the Pittsburgh Regional:

"where is our robot?"

Andy B.

After a match in VCU the annoncer saying

"WHO WANT'S TO SEE THAT AGAIN?"

talking about sparky going up the ramp in the last 3 seconds.

We all have build season sayings.

That rejected cartoon video added many to some teams

"My spoon is too big"

"I am a banana"

But all the usual stand bys.

"If it was easy I would have done it"

"What twisted mind decided we have TWO more days until we ship!"

"now thats a new failure mode"

And one of my fav's from last year

"Stokely, the robot won't turn left!
Well, turn right a lot then"

I was on my team's Robot Support team (built the crate and playing field, among other jobs). We've had too many stupid quotes to count. There's one in particular that I like:

Robot. The other white meat.

I'm still not sure what it means, but I like it. Want some more?

It's peanut butter and jelly time! (from our Animations team after God knows what)
Chernobyl Chicken! (chicken raised in the shadow of the nuclear site...many, many drumsticks and a nice healthy green color)
What the **** is happening out there? (said too many times after something goes wrong. Replace **** with a random four-letter word.)
Captain Obvious (new nickname for a not-too-bright Freshman)
I'm smart. S-M-R-T. (quote from Captain Obvious)

I'm out of quotes for now.

The students on team #1020 were as quick witted as ever during the build season. Here's a few of my favorites:

"its what they call the Java protection program. It's basically a big guy who knows programming with a club and flame thrower behind you, and if you program bad code..."

"Is it possible to rent a real monkey for like three days?"

"If I was a geek, which I am..."

"I tuned you out after you said motivated."

"I saw it on a movie once; it works."

"We could have sent it in to America's Funniest...School...Robot Videos."

and my personal favorite, from our electronics department -

"Copper's conductive, right?"

"And it looks like the refs are going for the flashlight !!!"

(It happened a lot at one regional.):D

"I got a hot dog and a large Coke, gave the lady $20 and she gave me $21 in change! is this a great country or WHAT?"

-US student at Canadian regional - gotta love that exchange rate!

I believe this is the link.
http://etrata.home.attbi.com/flash/banana.swf

" A little bit from column A, a little bit from column B."

"There are two groups here, the SMart Fellas, and the Fart SMellas"

"Yeah, whats that number for 9-1-1 again in case we need to call the ambulance?"

"It we just HAPPEN to have these little choppers that sliced up the boxes would that be illegal?"

"OPPS!!!!!" (How are robot got named. When we asked what we should name it and right as we asked a kid yelled it out as the robot slid off the platform)

Amongst others

HAHA I got a "My Name is Kristen and I build robots. HUG ME" pin :D A button fairy on 365 gave it to me ;)


Well.. the quote that stands out in my mind probably shouldn't be written here, but my team has interesting bus conversations :)

friend trying to insult me...

"your not the smartest tool in the shed"

Wow...that was disturbing. Thanks for letting me know where it came from, though.
Don't we all? I heard some very interesting things on our bus rides. I probably shouldn't post them, though...

"My spoon is too big"
"I am a banana"

/me rolls on the floor for the next two minutes.
Oh man, much too funny, I love that.

also (semirelated, but only to me :P)
"What's up with you and your spoons?!" And the background, I kinda just chew or bite on spoons somewhat often, and I had 3 on the plane going to our regional.

and i can't think of anything righ tnow...

"If you get hurt and miss work, It dont hurt to miss work."

Frank
P&G Chemical Engineer

"tutnus shot and stitches" pm to find out what it means, it will make you smile

at west michigan

pit announcer

EVERY MATCH started with

"Stack Attack 2003 WEST MICHIGAN REGIONAL"

"uh oh.. those stacks of four have been turned into stacks of nothing..."..

doesnt sound nearly as hilarious or annoying ;) as it did in comp.. every match!

Hyat Hotel....NAtionals...Payed this kid to ask prom girls where he could find a mechanical bull or sheep. He actually got one of the better looking girls to talk to him for a good 20 min about it. DEfinately worth the 5+$

How about "Holy ****!" as the Oakland County Sheriff's Department enters our shop, guns drawn...

Care to let us know how that happened? I can't stand the suspense... :D

I must find out why.. lol

Well, we were in there on the Sunday before ship, and our wonderful football and track coach, Mr. Merlo, decided to come in and use the school weight room. When he left, instead of just arming the sector of the alarm for the gym, he accidently armed the whole building. We were back in the Auto Shop, and we didn't even know what was going on until the cops showed up at our door. Seeing a bunch of cars parked behind the school, and an open door, one cop came in the back door, with his gun drawn, and scared the heck out of all of us. To make matters worse, an hour later, the janitor made the same mistake, bringing two cops this time, sans guns (fortunately). All in all, it was a pretty eventful weekend...

Heh I heard a lot of people saying this in reference to our robot - "Yeah we thought about doing that.... but then decided against it" ;)

For lunch in the pitt they have Rubber Chicken and breaded Rubber Fish.....your choice

And for those lucky people who were by Tidal Wave as we got off it you might remeber this.....
Our Shoes Are Squishy...

On one of the more late nights of the season (roughly 2am) our lead design engineer was drilling a mounting hole in the chasis for our drill motor platforms. After all 6 mounting holes were drilled and tapped, he tried to fit the motor mount on, successfully tightening 5 of the 6 allen bolts... the 6th, however, was one millimeter off. Now, lacking student support at 2am, he had tapped and drilled the holes himself. Upon realizing he had drilled the hole incorrectly, he stood back, looked at the chasis, and exclaimed simply and bluntly...


"This sucks."

coming into that final shipweek running on like 10 hours of sleep for the week

" I havn't slept for 10 days.. because that would be way to long "

ughh if Only i could remember everything said...

ohh and uhh at regional comp after like 0 sleep and no clue what to do I'm supposed to do alliance picks

" On behalf of team 710 we would like to add the.. assesstacne.. asetance .. as.. ohh man I can't talk.. how about 312 Heat wave joins us " ... in front of the whole regional and webcast woot woot

just couldn't get the word assistance out mayb

Haha, that's great. We have had several incidents where policemen come to our school while we were working late, but they never had guns. Everytime they came we would swarm around them and tell them about FIRST and show them the robot and be as excited as we could be :) I think they liked it though, one time one of them who had been before started telling his partner about us, so then we had to turn the 'bot on and give them a demo. Most of the time they ended up coming while we were eating too, so they weren't an inconvinience. Of course ... our school wasn't very happy about having police there :D

Stephen

I remember at the Hyatt in San Jose, after we fit 35 people into the hot tub (great times! :-) we all were trying to figure out our team numbers in binary and then hold it up on our hands (like the 'rock on' hand gestures, but much cooler). It ended up that the spicy mustard physics teacher flipped off his entire team, becuase that was what their team number was :-).
good stuff.

Heard over and over for about 5 weeks............
 

This heard repeatedly from Jeff and Jonathan on team 1037.......but only mostly late at night.....

"Oh crap! It doesn't fit!"
"We have to [pick one]
a) cut it again"
b) drill it again"
c) do it again"

quotes
 

Before the season started we were trying to decide on which regionals to go to. We started to talk about previous regionals when one of the freshmen blurted out "What state is Missouri in?" really loud so everyone heard it.

Of course there are others that shouldn't be posted.

Meh a little of topic but it is really funny with a room full of ap physics kids sticking there middle fingers up because they have to.

I also accidentally said "Dying would kill you" after a conversation that a lot of things cause cancer.
and then "Whoa he's using a pizza box!" I thought it was funny probabkly cuz it was just late. (I was doing programming trig on a pizza box, since there was no other paper in the room)
Purple Spikey Gearboxes is a nice "quote"...
and then there's "$@#$@#$@#$@# you! Wait, wait, how long have you been awake?" <-- mwa ha ha ha ha

My favorite quote was probaly our team engineer John Vukovich and he said "FAILURE IS NOT AN OPINION". Those of you who went to the Johnson space center saw that saying on the t-shirts. SO if its good enough for america's best its good enough for us rookies.

there's nothing wrong with my purple spikey gearboxes, tatsak!!! :-) there was the "Lauren Persuader" that was just a huge wrench used to hit things...including laurens :-). Or what actually got annoying was the programmers and electronics guys who kept saying "I guarantee it!!!" and it would never work! Oh, well... anyway, everything funny happened when it was too late to remember!

lauren

(and tatsak: do you have aim? i'm laurenmelynn if you do)

So it's 2 days old, sorry...

"We'll have this driving by the end of the night"
Next day...
"We'll have this driving by the end of the night"
(repeat for 2 weeks)
"We'll have this driving by the end of the night"
(Next day: Thursday, extended ship day)
"It drove!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"It CAN'T be (programming/electronics). There's NOTHING wrong with it. It has to be (electronics/programming)." A prime example of the "of course I'm right, I'm always right" syndrome... :D

heh, we have had that happen a lot at our shop too over the years. However, the best ever will be having the cops called to the HoJo in Houston. Several teams joined together for a big southern BBQ and party.. afterwards people were having fun, and a game of frisbie resulted in the cops being called on several teams for disturbances!

last year at NASA/MD State Fair competition, there were only like 7 students that went.. a room of 5 guys, and a room of two girls. Well, we were quickly sent to our room (the girls)... hehe, geeks tend to find ways around things, and we learned how to use speaker phone! We stayed up for another 5 hours or so, going over our matches for the last day, and alliance selections. However, I had all of the scouting books and info. with me, so... my driving partner used the Krispy Kreme box in his room to take notes and info. from me over the phone. When I entered the field the next day for alliance selections... I went carrying the Krispy Kreme box!

I have got another one. One time our team did an exhibition at a ROTC drill meet because Raytheon was sponsoring it and they ask us to go to events that they sponsor every once in awhile. Anyway, my friend and i were thirsty so we sent armin to go find us some water (I know that that sounds like we were "female dogs" but we had to beg him, it wasn't like we ordered him to go)Anyway, at this place the army, navy, air force, and marines were recruiting. At this place we wore our shirts and Armin always wears is orange and yellow board shorts to robotics events, so he wore them. He came back really angry. We asked what was wrong and he started complaining about how the Marine guys made him do push-ups for the water and they were filming him and making fun of his outfit because it looked...ummm...great... But that is besides the point, on the water bottle they had like this cute vest, it was like those things that you put on coffee mugs to keep it warm, except it was the shape of a shirt advertising the marines. On the back it had the greatest thing,

"SAVE THE DRAMA FOR YOUR MAMA!"
.......Well, i thought it was funny! LOL.

Hes something someone sent me in an IM. I thought it was a good Quote.


The Sprinfeild Sun on the Firebirds:

"...and they seemed to think they had hit on a formula for success - as ruthless as it might appear.
'Of course we're ruthless," Laura Santamaria said. 'They're girls," Foell added."

a disgrunteled programmer
 

"I hate the phrase, We'll fix it in programming"
"We can fix it in programming, Says the programmer"
"Our auto code failed a different way each time, I mean it never did the same thing 2 times in a row"

all quotes by one of 263's programmer's

"GEE FRICKEN WIZZ"

-- Steve Miller, who was a mentor of our team and is currently at boot camp.

My all-time favorite:

Setting: Outside the St. Charles Family Arena, waiting for the pits to open for the St. Louis Regional

Josh from #1020 - "Amanda, you have the batteries, right?"

Me - "Why would I have the batteries? Neil was bringing the batteries!"

Neil from #1020 - "NO! You're the battery girl! YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE THE BATTERIES TO THE ROBOT?!"

(Ten seconds later, all that is heard is a truck door slamming and tires squealing.)

I don't think my team will ever let me forget the first competition, Friday morning, when I left the robot batteries at the hotel.

drive it liek you stole it is my motto i started using it when i drove my car and now i use it for robotics

"Now it smells like a robotics competition" - Phoenix anouncer after the magic white smoke came out of a robot right before lunch on Friday.

"Yeah, I just signed up for the Army. So yeah, you and my parents are the only ones who know so far."

- Steve Miller (also, 'Gee Friggin Whiz')

GO STEVE! You dumb intelligence officer :)

Oh really? Was I there with you? Of course not, the whole freakin' team ditched me. They all freakin' left before I got a chance to get to my room and put my bag away, and I had to go out with Greg's family (not fun). That was a stupid night. I'm never forgiving the team for that. Hell, they probably don't even know I'm upset by it. But hey, at least some people enjoyed it, right? :rolleyes:



Edit: It's too bad Mr. Gant is leaving. Robotics won't be the same...

This is pretty off-topic, but we were bored at Phoenix (824? was there, the team from North Dakota), and the pool at our hotel was ice cold. Now, of course, we had to throw unsuspecting people into the pool. Needless to say, the hottub was pretty full, but I got a jet :D

"Should we evacuate?" said at the Hilton Suites in Phoenix when the fire alarm went off one morning. Team 624 was there too.

Here's one from when we were in Phoenix:

Alex: my associates and I would like to request your assistance in acquiring more towels.

Front Desk: We'll send them right up.

(At the hotel room door)

Alex: Do you got the goods? (he asked this with the door barely open and you could only see his eyes. The guy nodded.) *sigh of relief* good! After that last game of hopscotch, we ran out of towels to bathe with!

Here's another Alex one:

The guy at TGI Friday's was giving Chris (our driver) his food, and the says, "Careful. Hot." And Alex turns to him and says, "I know he is, isn't he?" There were 17 people around the long line of tables. Everyone laughed. It was loud. But, yet, hilarious at the same time.

Re: a disgrunteled programmer
 

Three quotes of mine in the same thread? That can't be halthy. Anyway here's my quote:

"The motors can't handle that." "Pfft, they are just numbers."

Hmm...got some from our post regional get-together (me, Ryan, Jared, and Dave from 1115).
"Halaba halaba halaba" (yes I know that is from SNL) to describe the little kid things after playing Halo all night.

"Is that oil in an IV?" While watching Airplane II

“Thingything”

Throughout the season everything got called a thingything on our team. Its made me so much less articulate but it was fun.
:]


And for me there was the constant "Go MOE... *FURY people give me evil looks* I mean FURY!"

"Turn it on!!" - After our human player and controler forgot to turn the robot on for our first ever FIRST practice round at peachtree regionals..... I think like its now our team motto....

"Let's make our Robot out of antimatter, so whenever we touch anyone else they get sent into another dimension" - Phillip

*few minutes pass*

"Hey, instead of only being antimatter, let's make it a hovercraft as well, cause it'll look good" -Phillip again

"Kyle, what are you smoking"
"These LEDs"
This was said in the hotel room at the Annapolis regional when Kyle decided to try and make a glowing team number at 10:30.

The old standard:
It dosn't fit!
Get the bigger hammer!


Wetzel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If it breaks, it needed to be fixed anyways.

This is sorta a story but there is Quotes in it....

After some people from my team and myself went to see the movie "the core" which was the funnest/stupidest movie ever, we went to Arbys to eat after the movie and since we have all seen "Super troopers" I asked the lady at the counter for "A liter or cola" and she asked i i meant a large, the other people with me were laughing. We all got our food and we at down and somehow got talking about some restaurant a few of us stoped at on the way home from Rutgers that was serving "Freedom fries". Well at Arbys I got the smart idea that I should ask for some "Freedom fries" I went to the counter while my friends were laughing and asked for the fries the lady at the counter had no idea what i was talking about, but a lady in the back herd me and almost yelled " We have FRENCH FRIES and curly fries, no Freedom Fries" i think she got a little mad but. it was really funny.

My favorite was when team one of the guys of 182 said to me...

"Oh My God the autonomous worked"

Good Luck to everyone at the invitationals.

Wow we are wierd
These are all from today.

"I was Japaneese. once"
"You may have won but I am still master of the Wa"
"I can see you loud and clear"

No explinations you can ponder these.

"oh my gosh! matt, i'm gonna kill you!!"

"the duck flies at midnight!"

"i gotta pee!"

In line for lunch at Houston......"Ahhh man!!!, there's no more Pizzzza!!!-some kid


On the way down to Houston..."Watch your elbows watch you knees. Watch your elbows watch your knees. Watch your elbows Watch your knees."-flight attendent

From the Kickoff..."Life just isn't fair."....I think that was Woody.

For people who actually want to see the hilarity/insanity/stupidity (I shouldn't talk...),
http://home.attbi.com/~zaphodbeebleb...s/HPIM0514.jpg

Paraphrase of many many quotes:
What's wrong with the robot now?
What do you think?
Oh, programming...

What's going on? Why doesn't the robot work?
*checks for power for OI*
I wish people weren't stupid.

There's a whole lot of frozen ice here!

Dying causes death...

I was the programmer for our bot this year. As a result I have heard almost every line anyone could think of.

A few of my favorites that people have said to me are.

"Why did the robot not work? Greg Check you're programming"
"STOP STOP STOP"
"Greg, I can build the whole robot by myself faster then you can program"
"That wasen't a limit switch that was the programming"
"Load the double wack program"
"Hey good job Greg, it actually worked"
"Greg, what were you thinking, you changed the wrong variable"
"OMG, you made a Var. Byte a Var. Word"
"Before we start tearing this thing apart, make sure the programs right"
"Greg, you should rename that program, 71RunIntoWall"

A few that I have said
"Who would have known that 254 on the right side was to much"
"Where's my plugger"
"Who messed with my program"
"Mike, hows it feel to have my program drive better then you"
"Let me get a debug real quick"
"Know thats what I call programming"
"P-basic, P-basic, we don't need to stinking P-basic"

I know that you guys that arn't programmers are probably confused on some of these. These are meant for those of you that are programmers. Those of you that are probably have heard the same things, or something similar.

Good Luck to everyone at the invitationals

If only I had a dollar for everytime I did a demo and had a conversation like this:

-- What is that???? Is that a Battlebot???

-- No.

-- Well why not? You should build a Battlebot.

I'd be a millionaire. We had a demo today with about 9 robotics teams in the LA area, the croud was getting anxious, so we started battling each other. I am proud to say I have a good sized chunk of 696 that we took off.

And before this thread bursts into flames, it wasn't our idea.

Delaware is The FIRST State ... Learn It
 

Delaware was the first state in the Union but many people from other parts of the country dont recognize its statehood. This can be best illustrated in the following conversion between me and a person at nationals:

Person: "So where is your team from?"
Me: "Delaware."
Person: "Delaware? What state is that in?"

After that I should have told them
"In Pennsylvania, right near Philly."

Conversations like these are not rare. Obviously building a robot doesnt require a basic knowledge of US geography, but i thought a high school education did. Didnt these people have to memorize states and capitals in grade school?

Re: Delaware is The FIRST State ... Learn It
 

atleast you dont live in the arm pit of america... it doesnt smell that bad here.... you get used to it HONEST!!!!!!:) *exhibits shifty eyes*

Re: Delaware is The FIRST State ... Learn It
 

I was asked that same question 4 times and one of the times the guy didn't believe me, he walked away from me believing that Delaware is an extension of PA.

I forgot my favorite one....

Can I borrow a quarter?

I have heard that one more then 1000 times, lol.
I got em all back at nationals tho. I think I owe the different members of the team in total more then 100 bucks. lol.

Good Luck to everyone at the invitationals.

lol
 

" we have a box with a spinning light"... but hey!! it worked!!!

Re: lol
 

lol. Thats a funny one.

"tetnus shot and stitches"



refering to inter-team romances

Re: Re: Delaware is The FIRST State ... Learn It
 

You think Jersey smells bad, I used to live near Kennett Square, PA, otherwise known as the Mushroom Capital of the World. Since this is a quote thread the smell is best described with a parody of a famous Apocalypse Now quote.

You smell that? Do you smell that? ...Manure, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of manure in the morning.

You do get used to it. Except around harvest time during which my high school and everything else around town reeks.

I remember helping a team at UCF Regional.... I know they were rookies, and I can't think of their number... but they had a wood base for a robot and the wheels were higher than the components. They won an award for the "function" of their robot they hadn't planned for.

Me helping them one of the matches: "Wow, your robot just flipped"
Mentor from their team: "Oh wow, it's still driving, we uhh..... designed that into it, yea, thats what we did"
*goes back to pits after match*
Mentor to drive system designer: "I'm glad we planned that"

Heh, it was quite funny watching them all think they broke their robot in flipping, then seeing it run... they ran upside down multiple matches after flipped too lol.

Now thats a funny one, lol.

me to the newbies on 713:
"FIRST is like a drug......... with side effects on your social life"

me to the parents:
"for 6 weeks your son will be missing till about nine o'clock at night." (parent to me) "why can't he stay longer?"

me to idle members of 713:
"I lose a finger you lose a life"

me to the coach:
"I'd be nicer if I had sleep but since i haven't, keep every one away form me and nobody dies."

me to my co-captain:
"have you ever tried running on coffee and sugar.... it's fun trust me..... by the way do you know i woke up at 4 am?" (him to me) "but it's almost 12 am" (me to him) "see it works"

my favorite:
"anyone who wants to get duct taped and tortured touch the joystick while i have my hand in this robot" (random team member) "he's not lying he did that to me last year"