Who will be the Ultimate Pool Fighter?
 

The folks from tigerbolt proudly invite you all to join in on the first Pool fighting championships not-for-money-betting-game.

This year's contenders...
-He's your favorite guy in Hawaiian Print, reigning from team 25 in New Jersey...Big Mike <cheer>
-Full of intimidation and strategy, he balances FIRST with the crazy college scene at Clarkson...Johnny V-Neun <cheer>
-The man, the myth, the legendary mentor, Woodie Flowers award winner, and farmboy from Kokomo...Andy Baker <cheer>

Who will be the last man standing in the water? Place your votes now and tell us why.

Bah! Come down to my stomping grounds if you want some real competition! I'll grind all three of them into dust!

To the Hawaiian Boy: You need to go "lei" in the shallow end while the grown-ups fight this out, brother!

To the Clarkson Coyote: They're gonna be calling you "Kelly Clarkson" when they hear you screaming like that girl from American Idol!!

And to the Kokomo Klown: I've tipped plenty of cows in my day, brother, and I'm sure you'll be another pushover!

So come down to Orlando, FL and we'll have a Royal Rumble water-style! Oh, and bring your floaties, ladies!!

Who's afraid of the big-bad-baker?
 

Bigger they are, the harder they fall.
I'm gonna show that behemoth from New Jersey exactly how we do things up in New York. I mean, "Big" Mike... you overcompensating for something?

Mike, step into the pool, and feel the pain!

I've heard a rumor that the Techno-kitten is too scaredy cat to come in the pool and play with the big dogs.

Georgie-porgie seems to have lost his way, and stumbled into something he can't handle! You're not a part of this little bout... so why don't you stay down in Florida and eat your canned meat... Let us know when you've mastered the kiddie pool!

Just be glad that I won't be there. :(

I don't talk smack on here like you all do - it shows that you are trying to create "FE" or False Enthusiasm. Keep your talk - just do the stuff in the pool.

Quit talkin and just be glad that I'm not there. I'd show all of you how to correctly fight - pool style! ;)

:edit:

For the vote - I choose Andy. Sure - "Big" is bigger over Andy - but Andy isn't a small guy and he has that engineering mind that will just go crazy when he needs to.

Rember - Engineers are a totaly different breed than the "normal" humans! :yikes:

::puts on best Road dogg impression::

Llllllllllllladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages. Tigerbolt proudly brings to you, the soon to be, tag-team champions of the worrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrllldddddd......

::America by Santana & P.O.D. plays and the crowd cheers::

This following contest is scheduled for one-fall, and is for the Ultimate Pool Fighter tag-team championships. Introducing first, making his way down the aisle, barring no affiliation, weighing in at one hundred and ninety-six pounds at a height of five foot three, from Newport Rhode Island, please welcome: "Electric" Eddie McDonnell.

Any takers to be my partner? Oh, and can we have a women's division as well?

::ducks just in time to avoid the squeaky hammer of doom::

I've beaten Andy at sumo wrestling once. He is not too strong ;P.

I will put my vote on John. Go college student!

If you're gonna do tag team, do chicken fights.

I'm real good at that, i just need a strong bottom.

I'm game for a women's division. That is, if there are any other takers, or if they are too intimidated. Bring it on.

Also, I vote women's division because I don't think that any of the three challengers could even come close. A slaughter is no fun, now is it?

Womens Division Match


Amanda Morrison
Vs
461's own Molly Menges
Vs
Clark Gilbert :p j/k

nah actually since Clark can't compete in this match for obvious reasons, add in the uh [insert adjective describing her here] Erin Rapacki

This shall take place at IRI with special guest referees, Kyle Gilbert and Danger D.J.!

So the winner of the Women's Division takes on the winner of the Men's Division?

Watch out boys, you're gonna get it!

Maybe we should throw a Gilbert vs. Gilbert match in there, too, just for kicks. From what I hear, Clark can take Kyle, and there's video proof...

Hmmm...
So let me get this straight... the winner gets a chance to wrestle with a girl in a bathing suit? Umm... I think I can already feel my girlfriend's foot kicking me squarely in the....ummm yeah.
I'll pass...:eek:

Mike, the girl's division is all you! (watch out for HS girls, that could be a problem). :rolleyes:

Well, if it was mixed division chicken fighting, I would reign champ, I havent lost yet :-p. Chicken fighting is just aobut the best pool game ever created.

Wait.

So, are we playing 8 Ball or what? This is pool, right?

::busts out cue stick and playing cards::

So, here is our card currently:

Opening fight: Ultimate Twin Battle- Clark Gilbert vs. Kyle Gilbert
Undercard: Open
Mid card #1: Open
Mid card #2: Open
Mid card #3: Open
Upper card #1: Women's Division Championship- Amanda Morrison vs. Molly Menges vs. Erin Rapacki w/ special guest referee Danger DJ
Upper card #2: Tag Team Championship- "Electric" Eddie McDonnell & ? vs. ? & ?
Main Event: Ultimate Pool Fighter World Championship- Big Mike vs. Johnny V vs. Andy "The Brain" Baker

We should do this...

I can *so* take all three of them.. and conviently will be at the same hotel ;)

I was thinking the same thing too for awhile :D

Cory

No.. it's a fight in the water, as in pool.... hotel? ya goofs. :p

And I still need a partner!

Mike, this is going to turn out kinda like that horrible movie, Rocky IV (well it wasnt that bad...but it was too predictable)

Mike is playing Drago, the gigantic steroid infested Russian who goes and pounds the crap out of Apollo (played by JVN)and kills him. Then Rocky (played by Andy B) comes along and trains and after a long fight, knocks out Drago. In this case, Drago will be taking on Rocky and Apollo at the same time. Face it Drago, I mean Mike...you can't win. Oh and Mike doesn't have the support of the Soviet Premier behind him either ;)

sweet! I'm game, i'll just make sure to wear a one-piece suit.

and guys... watch out about fighting girls, we know where to kick ;)

As I always say... the only time you kick a guy down there is if youre being raped.

*cringes at the thought*

Cory

I'd assume low-blows would be a DQ.

Sounds like we've got a couple more challengers down. Someone ask Brandon to start a ventures for this once-in-a-lifetime event!

I'm starting to think that I voted for Andy a little too prematurely. I think maybe John will come and take both of them out.

I seriously was going to ask Brandon for a Ventures for this when I opened up the thread, the people in tigerbolt at the time can testify to this.

Hmm, it's too bad I don't live in the midwest anymore (actually I'm quite thankful) but I think I could have held my own in the woman's division. *sighs* could have made so much money charging to see the event too.

Yes peopple would want to pay... to see me.. w/o a shirt... in a pool

Big Mike will easily bear hug all of you until you cease to exist :p . Big Mike > all competition. The Hawaiian shirt will provide distraction while the attacks occur.
btw, paying to see Big Mike shirtless... interesting...:yikes:

hrmm.. well- I have mike's hawaiian shirt. and if kt's gets his new one? *exhibits shifty eyes* All proceeds of the PoolBash with be going to the medical fund for the participants. :p

*cough*eh hum..*/cough*

Here is an idea..

Battle of the Giants: In this world class round "Big Mike" will be pit against ChiefDelphi.com's resident webmaster, Brandon Martus. Thats right folks, he will be attending the IRI. A match of colossal proportions (literally), this should leave all spectators drenched in water from the sheer size of the "cannonballs" created by these two fighters. Oh, and what if they double-team? The horror :yikes:.

Anyway, enough with the failed tagline.. this match would be awesome :).

...and yes, I would pay to see this :p.

Well, Mike's already on the card in the main event. On the plus side, we're CD's people. That means we can pit Brandon against whomever we want. :D

I can take on Brandon :D

Hey now! Don't make me close this thread! :D

Um...

..I can't swim?

uh..

I have a bad back?

ummmm..

I have .. .. Ablutophobia .. err no, thats not it .. uh ... Potamophobia?

err....

I don't even know what hotel I'm staying at... hmm..

heh

Sorry Mike, due to the fact that we will be pretty short on time, everyone is limited to one match. Kyle Vs Clark is already a match, and I am a referee and Im sure ill have my hands full....trust me you will need all the energy you can use to do your match.

I am just hoping that this thread will go away. I plan on staying far away from pools during the IRI.

These youngsters would demolish me. I am an out-of-shape, has-been wrestler. Can I throw in the towel?

Andy B.

Aww say it aint so Andy, comeone look all these poeple think you can do it... give it a try... i'll go easy on ya :p

Yeah, only one match per person on a card. You know, so no one tires out on us. We can't have a main-event where one of the participants is half dead.

Updated card:

Opening fight: Ultimate Twin Battle- Clark Gilbert vs. Kyle Gilbert
Undercard: Brandon Martus vs. ?
Mid card #1: Open
Mid card #2: Open
Mid card #3: Open
Upper card #1: Women's Division Championship- Amanda Morrison vs. "Triple M" Miss Molly Menges vs. Erin Rapacki w/ special guest referee Danger DJ
Upper card #2: Tag Team Championship- "Electric" Eddie McDonnell & Dave Kronyak vs. ? & ?
Main Event: Ultimate Pool Fighter World Championship- Big Mike vs. Johnny V vs. Andy "The Brain" Baker

So are we actually going to do this somewhere?

hey! don't I get a neat nick name?

I propose: Brandon 'No-Show' Martus!

BAH BAH BHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA[/dramatic_music]

:ahh: :D :cool:

Come up with something better than "No Show" then. :D

Brandon - I'd take you on if I was going to IRI...:(

(I'd be a no-show too! LOL! :p)

Mwahaha.

Such an innocent little thread, and now even Brandon is roped in.

Anyone proposing Andy vs. Brandon? ;)

And I wish I had a cool name too! Blah.

So how exactly is the 'Electric' and the 'water' going to work?
Doesn't that slightly give you an unfair advantage over those of us who would .... die? :D

Just be happy your name isn't on the other end of that bracket, then. ;)

Andy Baker.. or is it Super Baker! :)
Finally a hero with brains enough not to go around in his undergarments. ;)

You should get a rubber suit that looks like a Mexican Professional Wrestlers outfit. You could write "Volcán Del Señor" (Mr Volcano) and "Grande Mike" (Big Mike) all over it. Then you could have a crazy yelling rant (like Chris Farley in the "El Niño" sketch) to scare Andy and Johnny (or make them laugh themselves to death ... either way you win).

Mike is an intimidating presence in the pool. I speak from experience since we were in the same pool at Annapolis (there was no water left. I never tried to dunk him but I figure I had a shot. I didn't try because I was too busy fighting off about half a dozen members of my team that were determined to dunk me. They finally succeeded but I dunked them like 30 times in the process.:D

I still say that if Andy -crazy man- Baker can find that little "switch" in side of all of us - he can lay the smack down on you all...

Maybe I should tell him that he can't have any more Krispy Kreme donuts...:yikes:

I'm not sure how Andy will react to that, but Wetzel almost lost a hand (possibly more), trying to keep Jason Morrella away from a box of KK at LA.

My vote goes for Big Mike. I'd have a hard time betting against him.

My heavens... OK, it looks like this thing will not die.

Realistically, the only hope that John and I have against Big Mike is if we team up together to topple him first... then whichever one of us has any energy left will probably come out on top.

Then again... Big Mike may just take us both down. That would end the match quickly... hey, there's an idea!

Anyone want to take some bets? I'm betting on Big Mike!

Andy

Hmm... maybe I should get in on this... Who thinks I can take on Brandon? :D

Andy -

No more KKs until you beat Big Mike.

(there - that should jump-start him :D)

Lucas
 

Oh come on Lucas, you dunk any of us? You're crazy!

Big Mike is nothing, Carlo can take him any day of the week. No problem.

(Any guys on MOE will know why it seems I am talking in the third person)

I think we can take him. You get one leg, I'll get the other.



And.... What's all this old man stuff? Jeez Mike, I'm only 20 (despite what my hairline says).

Wait, how about Buff Baker? He's buff, he's the stuff, and the girls just can't get enough.

Seriously though, for the main event, my money isn't on Big Mike, only because he's the heel, and the two faces will gang up on him. After that, it's a toss up between Johnny V and Andy "The Brain" Baker.

Oh, and a large sum of money on myself and Dave.

Did we ever decide *when* this was going to take place? :p sorry Andy.

I say we should do this at the next nationals. Have FIRST set up a pool on the premesis (which they should've been doing all along), and we duke it out there.

Oh, and just to tick off Andy a little:

BUMP!

::runs::

I thought that this was supposed to be an IRI event... Because that's how it all got started, in the pool at the omni. ???

Oh it will be at the omni...we could never pull something like that off at nats, so IRI is the next best and most reasonable choice....


Im not the best UPF, but I am the best UPF referee :D

UPF
 

Hmm...

Sounds like I might have to avoid the hotel that night so I dont get thrown in..... Anyone up for heading somewhere? Hooters is close ;), malls all over the place... lol

hmm.. i think Clark needs to get wet.. muahahahaha :P

Warning
 

If I get wet..........BAD music for all of Saturday!...muwahaha...i'll go out and buy all the Nsync, Backstreet Boys, pop stuff i can find...muwahahahaha

I would like everyone to know that Big Mike spent the better part of July 4th bench-pressing me in my pool. Be afraid, be very afraid.

Mike has nothing on the midwest...the midwest owns Mike.

:D

Mike is owned by the Midwest? I beg to differ. Maybe by Appleton :p ;)

Unfortunately, I am going to have to drop out of the running for Ultimate Pool Fighter.

My team duties call me. Sorry guys. :(

Ditto. I'll be reeeeeeaaalllly far away at the Super 8 [mapquest says 0.1 miles]. Sorry :D

Oh, I'll take you on at the Super 8 Brandon, bring it :p

I'll sneak down there and provide the transportation for you, Brandon. :D

Awww :(

Now there's an open space in the Women's Division. I vote for Sara from 1089 to take her place!

I'd do it, well, that is if no one else minds a little *insert profanity* kicking. Remember, being a certified lifeguard & a swimmer for 13 years means I am pool master :)

[edit] mine and sarah's posts done in the student center at Purdue (in Indiana) *grin*[/edit]

Re: Warning
 

You make that sound like a bad thing Clark. :p

Unfortuantely, RI to Indiana is a long way, so I'm out on account of being, oh, about 918 1/2 miles away.

Now that I think about it, since Dave and I have no competition, we win by default anyway.

Lllllllllllllllllllladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages. Tigerbolt proudly brings to you, the tag team champions of the woooorrrrrrrrrrrrllllllllllllllddddddddddddd!!!

And the highlights of the match were the suicide plunge and the double-dunk. Oh yeah, oh yeah. Heh.

So.... is "Big Mike" the Ultimate, or what?

Yes, I'm curious as to whom actually won...

Erin's uploaded pictures are just a tease, and it looked like a pretty even fight.

And when I talked to him, Andy called me a dog for bringing this thread back up. Oh darn... he's one person I'd like to see dunked. ;)

Well, as i heard it, Andy backed out, but John & Mike went at it on Saturday night. Supposedly "Big Mike" won, but I'm sure John might debate otherwise.

Andy backed out?!? I had money riding on him! Alright, it was only a nickle, but how could he have backed out?!?

On the plus side, I'm half the tag-team champions, and I wasn't even within 900 miles of it...

Yep, I backed out. Although it would've been fun to be there, I spent Saturday night catching up with my wife and kids.

While you were pool-fighting, I was playing checkers, watching Atlantis and reading Harry Potter (my eldest and I are reading it together).

I greatly appreciated the invite to compete in this soakingly silly event. Thankfully, everyone understood why I had to miss it.

Andy B.

Well, truth be told... I lost.
We decided that a point would be given, every time you forced the other person's head completely under water.

I was up 3-0 at the beggining, but then felt bad, humiliating Big Mike in front of all his 25 team-mates.... so I ended up throwing the match.

I lost 10-7, a pretty respectable score.

By the way: you really learn to appreciate just how BIG he is, when he's trying to drown you...

and... Mike, I'm still sore... just ask Rob/Ken/Aaron, I was whining about it all Saturday night.

So, your winner, and brand new Ultimate Pool Fighting champion: Big Mike!

Out of curiousity, who won in the women's division?

Without a doubt me :) I completely owned Big Mike, my only competitor :)

That you did... twice!

and in a bikini. don't mess with chell

So - if "Big" = Champion

and Chell > Than "Big"

That means that Chell is the champion - even bigger/better?

I'm scared.

Hehe Matt I love your logic, it astounds me

You could say that ;) She was definitely beating "Big Mike" the whole time... and got me a few times while she was at it.

haha, i never got dunked ;)

well, i got flipped by "Big Mike" trying to dunk him....but other than that...

Okay, so Chelly is the Women's champion, Dave and I are the Tag-Team Champions (despite me being over 900 miles away), and Mike is the Champion (although that may be in severe Jeopardy with Chell breathing down his neck, figuratively speaking, of course).

Did I get that right?

I too would like to join the "Owned By Big Mike" Club. I latched onto his back and held on for a while, but he managed to slam me into a wall a few times and finally got me off of him, at which point he ran out of the pool to go up to his hotel room.

acctually if i remember correctly, i got you off of me, and then i wrapped my arm around your neck and proceeded to hold you under water

Yeah, yeah. So I ommitted that part...But I also ommitted what happened when I ran out of the pool to catch up to you guys. :D