Favorite Teacher Quotes
 

Now, over my life, I've had some really BORING teachers. But this year I have the best history teacher. I have some quotes of his, and I want to see some of your best teacher quotes....

"Back in college there were keggers, but I wouldn't know about them, all I did was read the Bible and drink Diet Pepsi's."

In inquireing who has the best name at the school (BTW, his name is Mr. Condon), we say Mr. Condon, he replies: "Nah, that names stuipd. Sounds like small wather ballons." Get it? :ahh:

Re: Favorite Teacher Quotes
 

No.. I don't get it.. :(

BTW, nice 3 digit number in your signature!! lol

w00t!!

Re: Favorite Teacher Quotes
 

In high school, I was the guy who would sit in the back of the room and sleep every day. Then a physics teacher said this to me:

Mr. Wallace, I don't teach in your bedroom; please don't sleep in my classroom.

Faced with that impeccable logic, I haven't slept in any class since.

Re: Favorite Teacher Quotes
 

It's a play on words. His name is Mr. Condon.

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My favorite teacher this year and most Junior's who have her is Mrs. Roselyn Teukolsky. She has been teaching Precalculus BC and AP Computer Science for a long time (26 years). She graduated from "teacher school" in South Africa. She writes the NYS Barron's review book on AP Comp Sci and you can find more of her published works on Amazon, including a fairly interesting one regarding her bridge career (she still plays) and how she married her partner.

She is witty. She thinks faster than any of us and it blows us away. What's more amazing is that she teaches so well and in such an understandable fashion that the topics become incredibly easy. When asked if she ever passed "teacher school" (she references, "In teacher school, ..." every day), she replies, "with distinction." My friends and I have a running database of quotes by her. It is well over 200 since the start of this year. Here are some of my favorites:

Yan, what you said had so many misconceptions and errors in it that it's not 'my bad', it's 'my horrible'.

Don't drop this course based on tonight's homework.

If the hairs on my arm stand up straigh tbecause your graph is so ugly, you lose an ugliness point.

I'm not yelling at you, I'm just taking care of your education.

When I was a little girl, I would line up my dolls and teach them.

... even though I shouldn't penalize you because you're a smartass.

You know I shouldn't be laughing at you.

This is not pure thought. This is showing monkeys how to jump through hoops.

Paul.. you don't have to show me over and over again that you have no soul.

I just made that up. I'm serious.

Ben: Oh my god!
Mrs. Teukolsky: Yes, my son?
[^^ That one goes in the record books... less than one second response time for witty-ness]

The algebra will grown hair on your chest.

I laugh at my students all the time. I'm not supposed to but I can't hold it in.

I got a little senile on this.

I read your mind from here.

A question like that tells you that all the little deers are already damaged...

What is the blurfth term? [blurf is her universal variable]

Maybe this is where it's at.

I never give you a quiz the day after. I always give you a day to figure out that you don't know it.

Yan, just don't look at me like a piece of cheese. Just get your own paper and do it.

Yan, I don't have to look at - he uses up all the air space.

Why am I always saying something nasty to you? Stop it!

Will all the big mouths shut up except mine?

You have to hide your colored chalk. Otherwise other teachers will take them.

It's better to get it wrong now. Tomorrow you get public humiliation.

.
..
...

Yeah, I have a section in my AIM profile for her quotes. I update new ones fairly often.

Though some things seem mean, they're not. She's constantly makes fun of people who get not-perfect grades or make dumb mistakes, but her attitude is one of someone who loves teaching. "If I wanted to get rich, I wouldn't have been a teacher." It's interesting to note that one of her computer science students in the 80s went to college and made the game Wizards... that game was fun... and that guy became rich.

Most memorable teacher quote
 

It's not really my favorite quote, but it's my most memorable. Back in school I liked to talk, make jokes, and distract my classmates when I was supposed to be paying attention. I was a good student and teachers liked me so they usually just told me to be quiet or move me next to people I wouldn't talk to. I guess I talked one too many times in 8th grade physics and my teacher got upset. Mr Willis told me that all I'd do in life is dig ditches.

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Ahh i can't remember the exact quote, but this is close.

"Pollitical Science isn't a science...its a bogus degree in arguing." Dr. K. Kasem (Chem Professor)

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Well I just have to put in a quote that was said to me by my english teacher my freshman year....

"Mr. Ullstam, are you trying to push my buttons....You know how easy they are to push"

Know imagine a guy that is 60 years old with died black hair with a comb-over, wearing Sears Catalog Suits (he was a model when he was 30) from the 70's with a "bling" medalion cross that was about 5 inches wide and 8 inches tall.

If you could have been their you would understand. Those of you that had Mr. Daranatsy know to where I am coming from.

Well There is my quote,

-Greg The Great

Re: Favorite Teacher Quotes
 

I had a teacher last year that was great, but he said a bunch of funny stuff. His name is Dr. Malhan. Since it is a bit rare to have a teacher with a phD, at least in Florida, we all called him Doc.

Doc said some funny things, a few of which I mentioned below. First, you must know that he is a Star Trek fan and drove tanks in the military during the Gulf War. He teachers web design, buisness managment, marketing, and internet commerce. (e-marketing and e-commerse) Here are some of his quotes:

"Guys...Guys...please...guys...no musical"
"What, please speak louder, I have tanker's ears." (from driving loud tanks)
"Please don't run around grabbing each other's forth point of contact"
"Wo! Wo! Guys! Guys! Ok, shields down...fazers on safe"
"Set the volume to 14 so it is loud enough to hear. 15 is way to high"
"I talk with my hands" (you have to see him talk to get this one)
"If you keep this up, you'll have less hair on your head than I do" (he is bold)
"Oh...that was a joke...laugh...ha ha"

I can't remember some of the other famous ones.

Re: Favorite Teacher Quotes
 

I have this great math and physics teacher, Mr. Sanders. He is an engineer but has never done anything except teach. He also has a great sense of humor. Here are some quotes:

"Oh no, don't look!" (He covers what he just wrote on the board with his hand) "It's a radical in the denominator!"

"If you forget your textbooks, you have to donate one dollar to the poor drive. I'm poor, and I drive."

"...and that's the formula for the force of friction. I'm surprised none of you asked about the asterisk!" (He then draws an asterisk next to the formula) "This formula only works when..."

"...and then we bring this to the other side of the equals si-Heeeyyyyy!!! A quadratic!!"

Re: Favorite Teacher Quotes
 

One I remember was from my 11th grade science teacher (can't remember what class it was because is was a made up class to give those of us in the honors business course the extra science credit the state has decided to require for graduation). We had just had a lesson about waste and bacteria and our teacher said "So the next time you fart, don't say pardon me, say pardon my bacteria!"

And I had a chemistry teacher who used to always say "If you keep saying you're sorry one day someone will agree with you."

Heidi

<============>
worst quote: "Don't waste yourself being a teacher."

Re: Favorite Teacher Quotes
 

Not really a quote, more of a story, but I think it was my sophomore year in band and we were playing the Star Wars death march song (can't remeber the name) and it was less than a week before the concert and the director didnt think we were playing it "dark" enough. He proceeded to yell at us saying "what your playing sounds like Darth Vader is doing the striptease," with an accompanying dance and all. I suppose it was more entertaining if you were there but we were all dying of laughter.

Allison

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lol
when i saw this thread i thought of Mr. Parrish. He was my Algebra II teacher and had the stupidest quotes in the world, but they were funny...

"and i'd say to myself, self what are you doing?"

"bad hand bad hand!!" (he'd say that when he messed up)

"Sharp as a marble"

"It's like hellen keller playin' Jepordy"

"you're so bright your father probably calls you son"

"It's like kissing cousing"

yeah odd...

Re: Favorite Teacher Quotes
 

I recently had a guess professor for a week in one of my math classes. Everyone whom had him before called him CP or the "God of Math", because of his nature on the subject. For example, he created a tool belt to carry around his sidewalk chalk.

Anywho, when he was teaching... he made a statement as we were leaving, and said "Girls, no drinking and no boys"... of course all the girls were disgruntled, and didn't understand why, so they inquired why....... his response was "then the boys won't have anything to do, and they will study too."

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Okay, i've had several funny teachers, one of them is my world history teacher. We all swear she is bi-polar. anyway, here are a few of Mrs. Wetzl's quotes:

"This is the world from inside out" (she put the map upside down on the overhead)

okay, to understand this one you have to know that she has a giant map on the wall of her class room, " don't you ever wonder what it would be like to view the world from the north pole? well, if you stand on your head you can" then she put another map up and said "and this is the world from the south pole"

"We have 68% of our DNA from cows"

"These guys were either brave or stupid"

"I don't think it looks like a crescent, I think it looks like a squid. So I'm gonna call it the Fertile Squid."

"These guys has sand in their underwear and more in thier contact lenses"

"And these guys were busy over here talking to thier goats....."

My 8th grade science teacher said this one just about every day (it's kinda similar to George's):
"I don't teach in your bathroom, you don't put makeup on in my classroom"

and then last year i had this perverted old history teacher who spent 2 entire days talking about Jon Crapper and the history of the toilet, and then the history of a bra.

Re: Favorite Teacher Quotes
 

I had this substitute in 10th grade named Mr. Montaigne. It was a computer class. A few of us in a row would open up this website that will speak a word that you type. Each of us took one word and we had it say funny things. Then he would get up and look around trying to figure out who was saying all that. Then he would just get fed up with it and yell in an old grumpy voice "Sit down and shut up! It sounds like a BAR in here." Sometimes he would say football stadium instead of bar. The funniest thing is when he would get up and yell this when no one was even talking and everyone was in there seats.

And then this one time he was taking roll and walking in front of each student as he called his name. He got to me and was a little confused by the seating chart. So he said "who are you?" Before I could ays my time, this class clown behind me says "He's bobby." Of course that is not my name. The sub took it that Bobby was my name so he was looking on the roll sheet for it and of course did not find it. He turned back to me and said "tell me your real name!" I told him my name and he did not believe me. He kept yellign at me to tell him my real name and I was, but he did not realize it. He finally kicked me out of class for not giving my real name, when I actually was.

In 5th grade I had this teacher Mr. Goodman. He would say something that got the whole class laughing at least once every day. One of his phrases I remember was "Speak up. I'm deaf in this ear and I can't hear in this one."

In 11th grade I had a teacher Mr. Good. When he passed out tests and quizzes he would say "Face Doooooooooowwwwwwnn!" (with a strong southern like voice Then he would say "Ready, set, stop. I DIDN'T SAY GO! Go. You should be DONE by now." He was really funny too.

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i would have to say my most memorable quotes come from my 10th grade pre-calc teacher, mr. Zielke. This man was the king of puns and rhymes. I can't really post any because it would just make no sense out of context.

here are some good quotes though:

And most everyone in our AP Physics class had him at some point, so whenever he drops by (because he only teacher 2 periods and his office is right next to our classroom) he starts throwing out puns and everyone cracks up which is normally followed by this from our Physics teacher:
I always laugh when i think of that one.

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My best one comes from a COLLEGE english prof. She said (after being asked if we could leave early) "No, you have to wait until the bell rings."

Re: Favorite Teacher Quotes
 

Oh wow. This one reminds me of my 7th grade math teacher. I don't remember the specifics of what he said, but every Friday before our weekly quiz/test he would have some long drawn-out speech similar to something that Mr. Rogers would say. "On this wonderful day, in this fabulous classroom, I hope that each and every one of you gets an A and that ___________ (randomly picks someone) gets an A+" .. or something like that. Its been too long (10 years!? :ahh: ) to remember it exactly.

And what's funny, my friends little sister has the teacher this year, and she says that he says the same exact stuff.

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There was a sub at my middle school (they had a pool at the school and they filled in whereever) who had an african name that he decided that we couldn't pronounce, so we were to call him Mr. O. Every class he introduced himself "Hr, I am Mista O. ABCDO, Mr O" We ended up writing a song about it.

One of my teachers last semster, a former 22 year marine and volunteer firefighter for nearly as long, had some of the best sayings, but I will refrain from sharing them here. :yikes:


Wetzel

Re: Favorite Teacher Quotes
 

Another Coach Condon Saying:

elevendy-two. Yes, that's a number. Elevendy-two

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My favorite quote is from a music teacher at my school. He isn't very good at playing the Piano... so whenever he plays the wrong melody he yells; "Dandce fingers! Dance!" It makes my day. I use it a lot on IMs

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Another quote from my math teacher, when asked about an upcoming test:

"The test is going to be all multiple choice. It's easier for my wife to correct."

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my bio teacher the other day said "in science always keep an open mind .. but not so open that your brains fall out"

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In my junior year I took AP bio and the real teacher had cancer and eventually passed on so we got a sub, and every day she would say, " I haven't taken biology in over thirty years!"

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My Government teacher, Mr. Rohde, is retiring at the end of the semester. He's been teaching at the school for over 30 years now, and he's become semi-famous in the area. He's a great teacher...he just mocks his students more often than he should. :D Come to think of it, he seems to enjoy annoying people. When the phone rings, he'll pick it up, continue lecturing the class for another thirty seconds or so, then shout "211!" (his room number) into the phone.

Guess I need a quote to keep this on topic, so...
"How can you miss that? This material is spoon-fed!"
-Mr. Rohde

Re: Favorite Teacher Quotes
 

During one of the classes we weren't paying attention and the teacher wasn't sure we had heard what she said and she said "Are you picking up what I'm throwing down?" It definitly made us stop and think for a moment.

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One of my favorites is from my Astronomy teacher this year on the first day of school:

"I'll bet you're all wondering if there's a reason that all 4 Teletubbies are hanging from my ceiling on a string. Well ladies and gentlemen, there is."

And BTW, just in case anyone is curious, he uses them to wipe the chalkboard.

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I really liked it when my calculus teacher started repeatedly yelling out loud:
"I'm stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid."
That is when he was figuring out how to do a calculus problem and realized how simple it was.
My social studies teacher said this about my physics teacher:
"He scared the audience when he walked out with a dead cat"
My former advisor thought you could make a dance out of any common motion like pulling a lawnmower.

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One of the people who is tech certified and can monitor us for the bulid season is Mr. Haines. He's old (70s?) and was a nuclear sub engineer in WWII. It's always funny to listen to him lecture you about how many degrees he has (we lost count... or didn't pay enough attention).

When we need to get something done quickly during robotics, he yells German phrases: "SCHNELL! SCHNELL!"

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WELL... Every year we have a Powderpuff Football game with our rival school... let's just call them Team X. Now my APUSH teacher, who coaches our team, was talking about plans for next year, after his defeat that weekend. Somehow we get to talking about how we're gonna send our rivals away:

Us: "Well, we can just send them to California."
Teacher: "They'd never take them in California..."
Us: "Why?"
Teacher: "Team X... California..."

We still don't get the connection between the two.

Re: Favorite Teacher Quotes
 

Before CAD, drafting & design classes were held with drawing boards and students making designs on large pieces of paper. There were pencils, eraser shields, and brushes to wipe your eraser bits off of the boards.

Students had to be fairly clean with their work, and had to tape down their paper to the table to keep things in order.

My high school drafting teacher was a fairly funny guy, and whenever the class would start a new drawing, he would always come up behind some unsuspecting student (in this case, me) who was just beginning to tape his paper down to the table and say...

"Baker, remember... it's sticky side down."

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I think my favorite teacher bit of advice was when my college freshman English Composition teacher convinced me to become an English major. When I wrote him an email and presented him with the good news, he replied simply, 'Amanda, welcome to the Dark Side.'

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He was a nuclear sub engineer in WWII? Thats interesting, considering the Nautilus wasn't launched until 1954.


Wetzel

Re: Favorite Teacher Quotes
 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andy Baker Before CAD, drafting & design classes were held with drawing boards and students making designs on large pieces of paper. There were pencils, eraser shields, and brushes to wipe your eraser bits off of the boards.

LMAO!!

Re: Favorite Teacher Quotes
 

No, but research and development can be traced as far back as 1945.... (maybe earlier, but 45 is the earliest I've seen) :)

Re: Favorite Teacher Quotes
 

My most memoriable quote was when i was in 6th grade we had this english teacher that was so mean so in return we would all just talk and not care and one day she sayed to us "You guys are like my german shepard i jsut have to get out my stick and beat you

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Teacher quotes? Hmm...I'm sure I've heard a bunch of good stuff from my history teacher, I just can't remember any right now. But here's one from my physics teacher:

"Physics is Phunner!"
...What a geek. :rolleyes: =P

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Ok so my 11th grade US History teacher ... ex-Navy guy, used to do spy-plant stuff. Neat guy. :)

We're talking about our ethnicity and where our ancestors are from. To be funny, Tyler says, "I'm Congenese!" Everyone in the class knows Tyler is from Milwaukee, without a trace of African blood in him. Ryan yells, "Tyler, you're not from the Congo!" The teacher turns around and snaps at Ryan, "Ryan! I THINK Tyler would KNOW where his ethnicity lies!"

Of course, it's been a big Joke ever since.

The day the Segway is unveiled ... (Reisweber and Schuff are the two head teachers on 93) Reisweber had just gotten a new motorcycle. Schuff sees the Segway, turns around and says to Reisweber, "Screw your Harley. Sc-REW your Harley! I want one of those things!"

Funny, funny. :)

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Unfortunately I haven't had very many interesting teachers. In fact the quote that I'm about to give came from a teacher-in-training. We were in US history class and we were doing one of our Debate Fridays. I couldn't believe she actually said this. She said, and I quote: "By the end of today I want everybody in here to be Master Debators." (sound it out) ;)

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At our school we have to take a sememester of board drawing before we can go on to the full year of CAD so we can learn what it takes and why you dont want ot make mistakes but any way my favorite drafting qoute by far is my teacher walking up and down the aisles keep says "Remember men, BLACK is BEEEEEEEEEUITFUL"

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Ahahaha...I have a whole collection of these....hope you don't mind me adding this thread to the collection....Stupid School Quotes The ones w/ "T-" in front are courtesy of our education facilitators :)

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LOL I see you learned how to use SolidWorks eh??? lol I wonder how I knew that??