Re: True things heard at college.
 

Just some from the professors
"Life isn't all beer and skittles... some of us havn't had a skittle in years" - Calc professor
"It is too early in the week for you to all be smoking"- Philosophy Professor
"All the snow in the past has been cold so the next one will be warm" - Philosophy GTA
"If a tetrahedral is equivalent to a dollar, and you add two knickles, how much do you have?" - Chemistry Test
"And this major has the highest enrollment of female students... if you're curious"- female GTA discussing an Engineering major to a class of literally all guys.
"Luckily I called up 43 (his name for George W. Bush) and it seems that he is finally willing to give us a whole mess of things to discuss" -US. Politics and Gov't Professor remarking to sudden political flux allowing some extra credit

Re: True things heard at college.
 

"Who needs a vacuum when you've got duct tape?" [Proceeds to wrap duct tape around his hand and rub it along the carpet]

Friend 1: You're car's what an '84?
Me: '83
Friend 1: So your car's old enough to drink?
Friend 2: We should convert it to run on ethanol!

I love going to a tech school :D