True things heard at college.
 

(edit: this entire thread is made with the utmost of sarcasm in mind. It is a good time. Go to college.)

Alright...with me now being a college student and everything, I figure that it's my duty to warn my fellow Chief Delphites who aren't here yet about the perils of college. I hope that the other college students will help me out with...

TRUE THINGS HEARD AT COLLEGE!

I'll start with two favorites, both heard recently in the hallways of Preston College on the USC campus...

Random student: "DON'T WHACK ME WITH THE SHOE!"

(this second one came just after a fire alarm. Popcorn on the second floor, they tell me. And RTs here at Preston are like RAs elsewhere--just they handle more academicy stuff. And it's a joke...he knew I was on my duff in my room at the time of the fire alarm.)

RT: You pulled the fire alarm!
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! How are you going to prove that?
RT: Manufacture evidence.

C'mon, college students...we've gotta get these high schoolers prepared!

Re: True things heard at college.
 

HAHAHA!
Now I'm scared of college...*frowns*
--Dori

Re: True things heard at college.
 

Hmmm i'm not a college kid but I chill at Purdue
A favorite quote?

"Don't worry professor, it's not a bald spot, it's a solar panel for a sex machine."

Re: True things heard at college.
 

I'm sorry bill but it is stuff like that that makes school fun...you will get used to waking up in the middle of the night for fire alarms, random people walking around beating on doors in the middle of the night. College is supposed to be fun and people enjoy things in different ways....just don;t be to judge mental of people and you will be fine


remember this the first time most people have been away from home without a parent figure telling them what to do or have people watching their every move so people are obviously going to have fun .



my recommendation is get off the comp and go have some fun your self..

Re: True things heard at college.
 

Actual, real quote heard while in college:

"You know, if we shoot the flame thrower out of the back of the car while driving down Main Street at 2:00am, we are probably going to get in a lot of trouble..."
"Only if they catch us - and who is going to chase a car with 20-foot flames coming out the back!"

Re: True things heard at college.
 

Most the things I see or hear on campus (or atleast the one's I remember), I would not be able to repeat here on CD for obvious reasons.

But I agree with Greg, this is the stuff that makes college fun, so go enjoy it while you can because remember "A bad day at college is always better then a good day at work" ;):p

Re: True things heard at college.
 

Im sorry but if someone walks around doing that Im calling the cops. No one shall stand between me and my sleep. Im in the party pooper dorm and I like it that way.

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lol...it is more fun to get out of bed and chace them down. :D

Re: True things heard at college.
 

I'm gonna have to +1 ya on that. When I was away at college, they didn't have dorms so we had to get our own apartments, and I wish I could say 1/2 of what was said during that time...:D

Re: True things heard at college.
 

The one thing Im worried about is my dorm being right next to an elevator.:) Hey if I really wanted to have fun in Boston all I would have to do is hang a Yankees poster out the window (as long as Im not on the first story). Hehehe... I would make all the Red Sox fans irate especially since my dorm is on The Fenway. You people scare me.

Re: True things heard at college.
 

Fraternity jock guy: "So, how have you been?"
Me: "Not too bad, though Murphy's law has been killing me lately."
Fraternity jock guy: "Yeah, I know what you mean, the campus police don't like me either..."

Heidi

Re: True things heard at college.
 

Heh. That reminds me of the one bad reason to be off-campus. Campus Police - Campus = Police. I've seen way too many flashing lights around my apartment building :P (They weren't after me, though!)

Re: True things heard at college.
 

"Wow, I didn't expect to see a mob of nekkid people running around for at least a week or so . . . . "

-said by me, watching as a (coed) mob of nekkid folks ran around putting shaving-cream butt-prints on windows (some guys in my dorm got a hose and started spraying the shaving cream off . . . it was funny)

" . . . . on a wednesday?!?!" is another good one.

Re: True things heard at college.
 

I heard this one a few nights ago...
"All right boys its naked time"

Then last night (this isnt reaally a quote but worth mentioning) I'm walking down the hall and these two guys are standing there naked at the sinks washing themselves with washcloths.

Re: True things heard at college.
 

The most important quote I've ever heard (said by my advisor during freshmen orientation while talking about grades): "Remember, D is for Diploma!"

Re: True things heard at college.
 

"If you come back to the dorms trashed, definitely DO NOT STICK YOUR FRIGGIN HEAD THROUGH MY WALL AND THEN GO INTO THE SHOWER WITH YOUR HEAD BLEEDING EVERYWHERE AND TELL ME YOU DIDNT DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Those are the exact words of my RA. Apparently that happened to him last year

Re: True things heard at college.
 

WE had some kids at my complex running around beating on doors and we chased them down it was great times.

I have been at college for about a week and 3 days and some of the stuff i hear is really funny. I went to a private school all my life so teachers werent as blunt as they are in college. I lvoe college tho, and for the upcoming college kids, its def the greatest time of your life, yuou will never miss high school

Re: True things heard at college.
 

I just heard this one in my anatomy lab.
"You cut it's head off, LET ME SEE IT!"

Re: True things heard at college.
 

OK story time.

Many many moons ago, way back in my freshman year, I lived in a place called Middle Earth, in a dorm called Lorien. Lorien was known as the "dead dorm" for two reasons. One because we didn't party that much, at least not with other dorms. The other was because of a dorm tradition. Every year the dorm put on a Haunted House as close as possible to Halloween.

That year we did a particularly bloody version. The father of one of the guys in the dorm worked in a slaughter house. So he somehow obtained the head of a cow from which the skin had been removed. This was placed on a table for one of the scenes in the haunted house. It just happened to be right off the main entrance in the living room.

I was sitting in the living room reading the paper when a couple of upper classmen (who happened to be female) walked in. Instead of the usual "Oh Gross" comment the first one said "Dibs on the eye!" the other one said "I get the other one". They were really excited about it.

Did I mention they were Bio majors? They wanted to disect the eyes. They did too. I'm not sure what happened to the rest of it when we were done. I'm not sure I really want to know.

Re: True things heard at college.
 

Ah, yes...I found another today. I'm in music appreciation, and we're covering the renaissance. The professor talks about how composers, at the Catholic Church's request, simplified the vocals so that listeners could understand the words. One person asked why it wouldn't be the problem of the people to know the words. True exchange, I swear:

Professor: What if you've been going to church your whole life and couldn't understand the words?
Student: Then you're going straight to hell.

Who knew that those hundred-people classes could be so interesting?

(and a word for you high school students: I currently take five classes. One has a hundred people. One has a smidge less than that. My speech class is around 20 for the actual speaking and practice and such, but for lectures a few other sections sit in and the auditorium fills to about 100. My remaining classes all hover around 20. So it isn't too bad.)

Re: True things heard at college.
 

Does a waterballoon sling shot count going down the campus road? And yes, we DID launch them at people even though it said dont



thats awesome.

I didn't live in the dorms (commuted, it was much cheaper and I could still keep my job) but I often visited many of my friends' dorms. One evening, when I locked my keys in my car or lost them, don't remember which, I was walking back to one person's dorm and over heard some people talking as they ran past me to the bridge ( I went/ will go back in spring to GVSU in Allendale, Mi). They then screamed and I heard a large crash and a bunch of yelling, I didn't notice the computer monitor they were carrying on the way which I saw in the morning. I thought someone had died. :ahh:

Re: True things heard at college.
 

Heh. Not many college quotes can be repeated on these forums, at least for me. Not even the ones said by professors :P Dorm life is pretty neat (I was off-campus last year). My roommate (and friend before that) is a musician with a bunch of recording tools (I figure we have probably just $1000 worth of audio hardware alone in the room.. and enough total electronics in our dorm to cover tuition for one of us). Anyways, there were three guys jamming on acoustic guitars and a vocalist. Good times.

http://www.mehh.net/dorm/MVI_0290.AVI if anyone really cares. The mics obviously pick up MUCH better sound than my digital camera :) 5 guys, 2 computers, and amp in a dorm makes it really warm. :P

We've already had 2 sound violations and it's only been 4 days :D (At midnight, noises stop.. except for the acoustic guitars in our dorm)

Re: True things heard at college.
 

Wow, I'm so glad to finally have internet again ... a whole week without any service. :ahh: I live in an totally unaffilitiated apartment complex that houses college students. Wow, some of the stories I could tell. :o

One of the dumbest things I've ever done in a convo with one of my apt. mates:
{while watching the Country Music Awards}
Kristi: "Wow, some of these dudes are mighty fine."
Ashley: "Hey! Let's drop out of high school and become roadies!!!"
Kristi: "Dude, were in college?"

Re: True things heard at college.
 

As a way to ease my way back into the Chiefdelphi community after a way too long vacation, i thought I might bring back this thread with some new quotes from the Class of 2009. I'm already keeping a quotebook full of the funniest things that we hear, so far we have 100 quotes 2 months into the school year. Most of these quotes cannot be repeated on the forums, but here are some of my favorites:

"What?!? I will cut you!!" - Me, a normally quiet person, to the refs at the last football game, where the refs were, of course, biased.

"We don't have to worry about fire in the dorms, my computer has a firewall." - Scott

"Whenever I walk into this room I feel like I'm on the outside looking in on a zoo..." - Scott

"Sometimes when I get sad, I just have to look at myself in the mirror and I'm happy again." - Ankur

"Wait, your brother's 21? He could drive us to In'N'Out!" - Scott

"No, it's just Adrian's toothbrush" - Luis, upon hearing the fire alarm go off at 4:00 AM

"I bet you $100 I could jump out the window and land on my feet." - From the 2nd floor study lounge

"www.metronome.com" - My roomate when he woke up, we still have no idea what he meant by this and what triggered this

"Just don't be surprised if I crawl into bed with you and call you beautiful." - The guy who had my bed last year, pointing at me.

"what does aggregate mean?" - Kim
"Doesn't it mean to anger or something?" - Nicole
"Oh, yeah, Meagn you aggregate me so much." - Ankur

"It was like a nuclear bomb." - Me, after downing an entire wad of Wasabi

"Crap, your chair just shanked me." - Dionne

"Wow that bug is smart, he must be from Stanford!" - Luis

"What kind of cell phone falls on the floor?" - Me

"I need to think of something warm... ICE CREAM SUNDAY!!!" - Wendy

"My grammar's really suck." - Adrian

"Why do I always get the 7 of Spades!" - Keith
"Uh, Keith, that's an 8 of Clubs." - Steve

Re: True things heard at college.
 

Last year, the haunted floor decided to do smoke machines for Halloween. Good idea sure...and there are ways to pull it off...but now when you block every opening to your room! What'd they think was going to happen??? Fortunately it was a rather warm night and the hour or so spent outside wasn't too bad.

One of my structural professors has the best quotes ever. In my concrete class this term, we were talking about a German guy that came up with a method for finding capacity or something like that. So my prof says, "Has anyone seen Spinal Tap?" and goes on to talk about how they put umlaughts over random letters. He then made the connection that this guy was German and proceeded to put umlaughts over the B and N in the guy's name.

Okay, so maybe you had to be there =)

For the record, if you want college to be like HS (at least in terms of class size), MSOE would work for you. My largest class so far has been 30, with the average being about 20. Labs are less than 20, and even Senior Design has only 21. My Masters classes have a whopping 8 =)

Good luck, everyone. Just make sure you remember the college years!

Kev

Re: True things heard at college.
 

"It is only in very rare circumstances that the angles in a triangle add up to 180 degrees"

"A cylinder IS a two dimensional object"

Both of those said by a calculus professor. Also, in this same class, the ground outside was wet so everyone's shoes were squeaking. But this one student couldn't resist sliding his shoes back and forth to make them squeak throughout the entire class. So, the professor gets annoyed and says "I'll take off my shoes if you take off your shoes" and the professor actually took off his shoes and remained without them for the rest of the class. I couldn't believe it. Whatever works I guess.

Re: True things heard at college.
 

great thread
i don't have to worry toomuch about people knocking on doors, as the block of accomodation i'm in has 2 people sharing a bathroom between the room, and a locked door before the bathroom and the two doors for our room.
however
Prank calls.... usualyl at stupid times in the morning, and its free for internal calls.... Gwah!
THhe fire alarms havnt gone off in my block yet however the block accross the courtyard/quad has gone off at stupid times, and its so loud i can hear it over here...
you guys got nice small groups, i'm doing a course with 2 other people, (electronic engineering with maths) so we have to go to both ee and maths lectures. There is about 200 in maths and about 150 in ee... and i have a 26 hour plus labs timetable a week :(

Re: True things heard at college.
 

Reminds me of a discussion we had in my Philosophy class...

We were talking about John Searle and his philosophy about the mind and body. Discussion on how living beings were the only ones who could THINK, our professor used the example of a computer. Although a computer could process information and perform tasks, it cannot go...

"...I don't want to be a computer, I want to be a dentist."

That's the exact quote my professor used...

10 points goes to anyone who knows which movie the original quote came from...

Re: True things heard at college.
 

Hmmm... not sure about that one. However, I bet we all know where "... I don't want to be an elf, I want to be a dentist" came from.

Sorry for the tanget (well, not really). Carry on.

Andy B.

Re: True things heard at college.
 

not a movie:

"I dont want to be an Elf, Im going to be a Dentist"

Re: True things heard at college.
 

"You stole the horse on a cop, I needed that horse on a cop" -Overheard in Production 1

"Don't throw things at the police, they can be mean, and they will beat you. But most of all, Don't ask them if you can ride their new 2 wheel scooter things, they won't let you, and they will beat you." - Said in our "City Safety" class
-The 2 wheeled scooters he was talking about were Segways, and he is right, they won't let you ride it, a guy in my class asked and he got ran into by it instead.

Re: True things heard at college.
 

"Hey guys, instead of just throwing paper all over the girls floor, why don't we roll this giant roll of paper down the hall?" -me

"If it wasn't on The Daily Show, I don't know about it." -me again

"Ha-ha! Body in a wood chipper!" -me too

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"Whats this thing?" - Electrical engineering student from a foreign country, in a senior year digital design lab, looking at a 2N2222 transistor like he had just picked up an insect from another planet

Re: True things heard at college.
 

Got another one yesterday. It was the final minute of class, and my calculus professor didn't want to stop lecturing when he finished the topic, so he said "If Nicolas Cage can steal a car in 60 seconds, I can definitely teach you calculus in 60 seconds."

Re: True things heard at college.
 

We're talking about education in sociology, specifically in Japan. The professor starts talking about how getting into the upper-level high schools gets you into world-class universities like "Kyoto University, Tokyo University, Hiroshima...you know, the bomb schools."

She went on to clarify her statement--now I know why professors discourage slang in academic work: it's always ill-timed.

Re: True things heard at college.
 

"Plumbers make good money, but look at all the $#@&(crap) they have to put up with."

:ahh:

Re: True things heard at college.
 

"Anyone who knows this information deserves a beer. But anyone who actually uses this information *needs* a beer." ~ my networking professor

"These examples are useless. When is anyone ever gonna care whether they pay exactly $13 for apples and bananas? Now, when I get problems like this, I imagine I'm a crack dealer and I'm trying to figure out how much of the good stuff to mix in with the fake stuff." ~ my math professor

"He can't be biased! His writing is so monotone!" ~ kid in my English class, in response to reading Sigmund Freud

"Ok, I want you each to write a perfect paragraph, and then I want you to get into small groups and try to prove to everyone why your paragraph is perfect." ~ English professor
"But if the paragraph is perfect, we don't need to prove it. We already know it is" ~ same kid who figured Freud couldn't be biased on account of monotonality

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"I will not tolerate magic in this course!" -Materials 1

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"No, I'm not a vegetarian. The fact that something died just to make my food good makes it taste that much better." - Basho

"In laser-eye surgery, do they use lasers on your eyes, or do they put lasers in your eyes? I'm going with the lasers in the eyes." - Basho again

Re: True things heard at college.
 

"so are you wearing clothes to the underwear party or are we just gonna walk over in our underwear?" - my friends, actually about 2 minutes ago when she called me

"does anyone here put salt in their beer?" - my marine chemistry professor talking to a class of freshman

"you can go study that and make a big name for yourself, but that's not what we're looking for here" - same professor as before

"hurricane party!!!!!" - guy 1
"what's the difference between a regular party and a hurricane party?" - guy 2
"we pretend the world is gonna end, so we drink more" - guy 1

there are so many more, but i just can't post them :-D

Re: True things heard at college.
 

Favorite college quote is my science teacher's inability to pluralize the word fish. I love hearing about the dinosaurs, marine reptiles and fishes that lived millions of years ago...

Let's see, my friend Hannah (who has lived all over Africa) tells me stories about how a hippo is going to eat me (well, kill me at least), "do we get a college discount?" being asked at the local Oodles of Noodles, 25 times..., the girls down my hall dressing up as ninjas when the little kids came to trick or treat and the girls following the kids down the hallway was interesting to see, though that's not really something heard. A number of comments innappropriate for these forums... The dorm actually calling its food "goblin puke", and last but not least "no, el dia de los muertos no fue un dia cuando todos se murieron" (translation: No, the day of the dead is not a day when everyone died) when my spanish teacher was asked by a student if the day of the dead was a mass Aztec killing spree rememberance...

Re: True things heard at college.
 

Fishes is a word. (See here under plural: http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/fish ). It does generally refer to multiple types of fish however.

Matt

Re: True things heard at college.
 

Gah!!!! All semester I've been correcting him!!! :hides under rock:

Re: True things heard at college.
 

"I wouldn't recommend robbing a Federal Reserve Bank, it wouldn't go well."
My Economics Professor

Re: True things heard at college.
 

When you write out that you don't have to include the x 10 ^-3, thats just a hobbie of mine....
(he was showing us how to add capacitors in series :rolleyes: and had them in picfarads)

Re: True things heard at college.
 

Just some from the professors
"Life isn't all beer and skittles... some of us havn't had a skittle in years" - Calc professor
"It is too early in the week for you to all be smoking"- Philosophy Professor
"All the snow in the past has been cold so the next one will be warm" - Philosophy GTA
"If a tetrahedral is equivalent to a dollar, and you add two knickles, how much do you have?" - Chemistry Test
"And this major has the highest enrollment of female students... if you're curious"- female GTA discussing an Engineering major to a class of literally all guys.
"Luckily I called up 43 (his name for George W. Bush) and it seems that he is finally willing to give us a whole mess of things to discuss" -US. Politics and Gov't Professor remarking to sudden political flux allowing some extra credit

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"Who needs a vacuum when you've got duct tape?" [Proceeds to wrap duct tape around his hand and rub it along the carpet]

Friend 1: You're car's what an '84?
Me: '83
Friend 1: So your car's old enough to drink?
Friend 2: We should convert it to run on ethanol!

I love going to a tech school :D