CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

I thought of restricting this week's contest to four-time champs.

...then I realized that I've only been doing caption contests for a year and change.

Here's the scores:

And the picture:

http://www.chiefdelphi.com/wfa/image...4954beatty_jpg

As always, the deadline is midnight Saturday

Go!

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

Fuzzy Dice... 5 dollars.
Segway....... 2,000 dollars.
Being seen while riding a segway with fuzzy dice with your pinky sticking out on an international forum... Priceless.

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

They say old men dont have sharp rides!!! I have a sharp ride with FUZZY DICE!!! :D :D :D

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

"after team 71's 4th national championship title Bill Beatty actually looses his mind and rides off on a Segway into the sunset"

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

Mr. Beatty: "Now all i need is those hydraulics"

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

"Hey, did you guys rememeber to plug in my Segway last night?"

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

To have a really cool Segway, you must have fuzzy dice.

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

So I lean...here?

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

While most people think that fuzzy dice on Segways riden by older people helps them relive their teenage years they in fact have a much more important function. They act as a pendulum to counter act the movement of the Segway and allow people with weaker equilibriums to stay balanced.

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

well ya know..... i WOULD do a burnout but this beast is AWD and yea... little too much traction..... oh a wheelie you say? i cna do that..... or wait. if i lean forwards instead of backwards.... on 2 wheels.... is that okay? no? hmm. ill do a donut! yay! :D

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

now how do you get the cupholder to pop out again?

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

Consarn it! Thar ain't enuff PVC on this here contraption!

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

#1 Entry: Unbeknownst to Bill, the students substituted the Segway batteries for the FIRST approved batteries. Now he'll only be able to ride 2 minutes and 15 seconds before he needs to recharge.

#2 Entry: Bill to self. "Please don't let me screw up like President Bush did and fall down."

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

Bill, "Hey! Whooooooo borrowed my Segway last! My Chihuahua bobbleheads are missing from the wheel fenders again."

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

Old man trying to figure out how to use these new-fangled contraptions...
(this one is a little different, but he just can't seem to find the Nos button on the handle to make the thing move)

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

When the team told Bill he'd been selected to appear on "Pimp My Ride" he expected to get a little more than this!

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

In the "Who's the hippest Beatty?" competition/fundraiser, the final results are:
Third Place: Brian
Second Place: Bill (shown here, working the crowd).
First Place: Amanda Morrison (a surprise write-in candidate).

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

Bill shows off the first successful after market add-ons, fuzzy dice and a radio (only true aficionados know tuning does not require a pinky). His first attempts included moon caps ( they wouldn't stay on the wheels), fire decals (fenders were too small), lake pipes (people kept asking about why the need for two shiny kickstands.), fuzzy tail (no antenna), and (my personal favorite) an "eight ball" shift knob (what shifter?).

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

"Hey, what does this button do???"

"I wouldnt touch that if I were you!"

::crash into wall::

Maybe the reverse button should be better labled...

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

Upon inspecting another segway with fuzzy dice: "Ehhh... Its a nice touce but it still needs underglow, lemme show you mine" (pressing button)

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

Bill: How do I turn this thing? Ya know, back in my day, we...

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

"what can I say, i like to gamble!"

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

Is this the win button? :)

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

Bill: Dave says that the dice make it pimp!

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

Nothing says high roller like big wheels, big dice, and a grey wind breaker.

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

"Woot! I'm going to meet Dean and the rest of the Segway Gang! Maybe now that I've spruced up my Segway they'll let me join their clu... aww man... what's that on my wheel? Who didn't clean up after their dog? Sheesh... I should have chosen the little pine tree air freshener instead of the dice..."

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

Bill- " Ohhh what will these kids think of next?"

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

and to the left is some tea and crumpets.

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

This button is new! I wonder if that is the booster they told me I was going to get?

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

****not an entry******
Hey, what about meeeee!

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

[/not an entry]

Sorry Miss Jenny; I should have said the hippest "Indiana" Beatty. No doubt you would win the national title hands down, although you can never count Amanda out.

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

well shoot...a sprung seat and that 12 horse Kohler I've got out back and this'd make a dandy little lawn mower racer!

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

...and on this side I am going to put in the welded chain steering wheel, the Cadillac fins go on the back and then the flames paint job will trick it out... Maybe then they will put me in the remake of "American Graffiti"

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

Mr. Bill is perplexed as to why exactly the handle isn't made of PVC. After further inspection, Bill realizes that he can incorporate this feature himself and make additional modifications as well, such as filecards for extra traction and several arms that perform various actions (hedge trimmer, weedwhacker, gutter cleaner, and leaf blower, to name a few) that all fold out from the single stand.

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

he actually had two more fuzzy dice but he ran over them (see white on wheels) while he was examining his nails after a manicure.

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

Up next on American Chopper, OCC takes a stab at pimping Beatty's ride. So far, we know the design will include fuzzy dice.

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

This handle feels a little loose...... I dont know.......
Ill give you $50 for it.

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

"Here me baby, hold together!"

<not an entry>Geek points if you know where that's from.</not an entry>

Re: CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #71
 

Yes, I'm judging this thing before Sunday night. Go ahead, be shocked. I'll wait.









...okie doke. First place goes to:

Second place goes to:

Honorable mentions go to:

1) Goober!!!
2) Greg Needel
3) Kevin Kolodziej
4) Jay Trzaskos
5) T. Hoffman
6) Wayne Doenges
7) Rich Wong
8) Conor Ryan
9) Jay H 237
10) Andrew Blair
11) Bcahn836
12) dlavery
13) Pat McCarthy
14) greencactus3
15) Al Skierkiewicz

And the burn award:

(Not so much for Bill as for Jenny, mind you.)

Which means the scores are...

An interesting statistic--Gary has yet to win a contest in this year. Five second places, eight honorable mentions, and three burn awards, but no wins. I guess being the bridesmaid isn't always such a bad thing.

Onward!