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-   -   Favorite Monty Python Sketch/Movie (http://www.chiefdelphi.com/forums/showthread.php?t=4314)

Joe Matt 08-05-2002 18:44

Favorite Monty Python Sketch/Movie
 
So, what is your favorite Monty Python Sketch of ALL TIME?

HELOO POLY, I HAVE FREST FISH FOR YOU POLY!

Wetzel 08-05-2002 19:18

I'm not dead yet!


Wetzel

~~~~~~~~~~
I'm feeling better....

srawls 08-05-2002 20:22

Aha! A banana, we haven't done a banana yet! (from how to defend yourself against an atacker armed with fruit)

Stephen

gniticxe 08-05-2002 20:36

'tis but a scratch!
Wow, the memories. Recently me and a few friends redid "The Holy Grail" for english class. There was an analytical part about the ledgend of King Arthur and such, but the 1hr movie was the main focus of the project. We stuck to the script for a good portion of it, but we did modify bits. Just imagine, 5-6 teenagers running around in costume with coconuts... Good times.

Andrew Rudolph 08-05-2002 21:09

Jeeze every year this happends. I rember in the old forums in the technical forum duing the off season I started a big thread mostlyy of people reciting lines of holy grail.

I also have seen a Sketch from the show that was never released. It was so funny, it was a fairy tale. One thing ill tell you about it, the king played odd songs all day on his hammond organ.


Andrew

dlavery 08-05-2002 21:34

You forgot two of the very best:

"The Piranha Brothers/Spiny Norman" ("Dinsdale had a reputation for being cruel." "He wasn't, really." "But I heard he nailed your head to the floor." "Well, yes. But I deserved it.")

and the always-popular "The Fish-Slapping Dance"

And for the true aficionados, there is the "Upper Class Twit Of The Year Award."

-dave


---------------------------
Albatross!

Got any Chocolate Coated Crunchy Frogs?

Harrison 08-05-2002 22:07

Your arm's off!

No it isn't.

Well what's that then?

Oh it's just a flesh wound...Come on You Panzy!

lol...ohhh its great :D

MissInformation 08-05-2002 22:35

I like the Ministry of silly walks. And for days after seeing the Albatross skit I kept wanting to randomly holler out "Albatross".

MissInformation

<============>
"We are all individuals!"

D.J. Fluck 08-05-2002 23:33

4 words:

Ministry of Silly Walks

Joe Matt 09-05-2002 07:54

Now the twits must un-hook the brazeers of the women, this is an especially hard task for the twits.

Dig-dog

ohh, that must be the new gas cooker

NEW GAS COOKER SKETCH

or

Crusifiction?

No, they said I could go free and live on a deserted island somewhere....

oh, okey...

No, really crusifiction.

Joe Matt 09-05-2002 07:58

Or.....

It's no like its the Spanish Inquistion.

bum-bum!

We are the Spanish Inquisition. we stand of two things, spreading the church, fanatical devotion to the Pope....

Joe Matt 09-05-2002 08:30

Now the twits must un-hook the brazeers of the women, this is an especially hard task for the twits.

Dig-dog

ohh, that must be the new gas cooker

NEW GAS COOKER SKETCH

or

Crusifiction?

No, they said I could go free and live on a deserted island somewhere....

oh, okey...

No, really crusifiction.

purplehaze357 09-05-2002 08:50

Holy Grail...
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Harrison
Your arm's off!

No it isn't.

Well what's that then?

Oh it's just a flesh wound...Come on You Panzy!

lol...ohhh its great :D

hehe....best line out of any movie ever...thats a riot

ECarlson 09-05-2002 09:59

The Deja Vu sketch.

MrsT 09-05-2002 11:07

Quote:

Originally posted by Harrison
Your arm's off!

No it isn't.

Well what's that then?

Oh it's just a flesh wound...Come on You Panzy!

Definitely my fav!

Also like the "knights that formerly said Nee"

And the dead parot

lol

Lisa T :)

ECarlson 09-05-2002 11:21

The Deja Vu sketch.

D.J. Fluck 09-05-2002 11:30

Spanish Inquistion in the Courtroom is a great one:

Judge : Contempt of court. However, I probably shouldn't punish you, because we're so short of judges at the moment, what with all of them emigrating to South Africa. ...I'm going tomorrow, I've got my ticket. Get out there and get some decent sentencing done. Ooh, England makes you sick! Best I can manage here is life imprisonment. It's hardly worth coming in in the morning. Now, South Africa! You've got your cat of nine tails, you've got four death sentences a week, you've got cheap drinks, slave labour and a booming stock market. I'm off, I tell you. Yes, I'm up to here with probation and bleeding psychiatric reports. That's it, I'm off. That's it. Right! Well, I'm going to have one final fling before I leave, so... I sentence you to be burnt at the stake.

Judge Kilbraken : Blimey! I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition.


(Court reacts expectantly. Nothing happens.)



(Cut to suburban house. The three members of the Spanish Inquisition suddenly bolt out of the door and down the path. Dick Barton music. Cut to them leaping onto a bus.)


Ximinez : Two, er, three for the Old Bailey please.


(Credits start superimposed.)

Biggles : Look, they've started the credits.

Ximinez : Hurry. Hurry. Hurry.

Biggles : Come on hurry. Hurry!


(We see shots of them coming through London. Credits keep rolling.)


Ximinez : There's the lighting credit, only five left.


(More credits.)


Ximinez : H**l, it's the producer - quick!


(They leap off the bus into the Old Bailey. Cut to court room. They burst in, and...)


Ximinez : Nobody expects the Sp...


(CAPTION: 'THE END' appears)


...Oh bugger!

dlavery 09-05-2002 11:42

Quote:

Originally posted by ECarlson
The Deja Vu sketch.
The Deja Vu sketch.

dlavery 09-05-2002 11:43

Don't worry. You will get it in a minute.

-dave

Koko Ed 09-05-2002 11:56

Aw Rwight We'll Cawl It A Drawh!
 
One of the all time funniest scence in movie history. And I love Terry Gilliam's animation("It's the dreaded beast of Ahhhhhhh...!").
I would hope none of our animators suffer a massive heart attack in the middle of a scene but it might be fun to have a rampaging animated dragon terrorizing the Site. hmmmmmmm....
Either I'm having a stroke or I feel the sudden rush of inspiration comming upon me......




Nih:p

Joe Matt 09-05-2002 11:59

Quote:

Originally posted by dlavery


The Deja Vu sketch.

The Deja Vu sketch

also the Lillupan Man (Lillupan Ma, Lillupan Man, running through the night...)

ECarlson 09-05-2002 12:00

The Deja Vu sketch.

Chubtoad 09-05-2002 13:20

World's Funniest Joke!!!

Joe Matt 09-05-2002 13:22

hahahahahahahha uh...... *stop breating*

thud

OtakuRob 09-05-2002 13:32

"Have you any cheese at all?"
"No sir, I was intentionally wasting your time."
"Sorry, but I'll have to shoot you."
"Righto then."
*bang*

Have to love the chese shop sketch. Upper class twit of the year is definately one of the funnier sketches though, and Grail is one of the greatest movies ever made.

Jan Olligs 09-05-2002 17:17

I personally liked the Ministry for Silly Walks the best; I just can't remember how the sketch was called...

FotoPlasma 09-05-2002 21:24

(Film of Hitler rally. Hitler speaks; subtitles are superimposed.)

Hitler: MY DOG'S GOT NO NOSE.
Soldier: HOW DOES HE SMELL?
Hitler: AWFUL.

DanL 09-05-2002 21:53

...DENNIS: I told you, We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune, we take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.
ARTHUR: Yes.
DENNIS: ... But all the decision of that officer ...
ARTHUR: Yes, I see.
DENNIS: ... must be approved at a bi-weekly meeting by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs.
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: ... but a two-thirds majority ...
ARTHUR: Be quiet! I order you to shut up.
OLD WOMAN: Order, eh -- who does he think he is?
ARTHUR: I am your king!
OLD WOMAN: Well, I didn't vote for you.
ARTHUR: You don't vote for kings.
OLD WOMAN: Well, how did you become king, then?
ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held Excalibur aloft from the bosom of the water to signify by Divine Providence ... that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur ... That is why I am your king!
OLD WOMAN: Is Frank in? He'd be able to deal with this one.
DENNIS: Look, strange women lying on their backs in ponds handing out swords ... that's no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: I mean, if I went around saying I was an Emperor because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, people would put me away!
ARTHUR: (Grabbing him by the collar) Shut up, will you. Shut up!
DENNIS: Ah! NOW ... we see the violence inherent in the system.
ARTHUR: Shut up!
[PEOPLE (i.e. other PEASANTS) are appearing and watching.]
DENNIS: (calling) Come and see the violence inherent in the system. Help, help, I'm being repressed!


Oh, thats a great one. Then there's the ever-popular Brave Sir Robin...


Bravely bold Sir Robin, rode forth from Camelot,
He was not afraid to die, Oh Brave Sir Robin,
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin.

He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp
Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken,
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin.

His head smashed in, and his heart cut out,
And his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged,
And his nostrils raped, and his bottom burned off,
And his pen -

ROBIN: Er, That's ... That's enough music for a while, lads. It looks as though like there's dirty work afoot...



Anywhoo, for all your riciting and/or copy/pasting purposes :), here's a link to the full Holy Grail script. Yes. The whole script. linky

Also, it's not Monty Python, but Mel Brooks' Spanish Inquisition from History of the World, Part I is great too.
*starts humming*
The Inquisition, lets begin!
The Inquisition, look out sin!
We're on a mission,
To convert the Jews
*nuns* Jew-Jew-Jew-Jew-Jew-Jeeeews....

fast frank 09-05-2002 22:44

i love them all....

the holy grail
life of brian
meaning of life
dead parrot
spam
killer joke (hitler)
bicycle repair man
ministry of silly walks
argument clinic
mosquito hunting
lumber jack

they're all great

Harrison 09-05-2002 22:53

No one has mentioned the "You're using coconuts" bit from the Holy Grail (right at the begining)...

It is hilarious :)

Andy A. 09-05-2002 23:08

"GOD: Arthur! Arthur ... King of the Britons ...

GOD: Oh, don't grovel ... do get up! If there's one thing I can't stand, it's people grovelling!!

ARTHUR: Sorry ...

GOD: And don't apologize. Every time I try to talk to someone it's sorry this and forgive me that and I'm not worthy and ... "


Need I say more?

-Andy A.

Harrison 09-05-2002 23:14

God: Now what are you doing?

Arthur: I'm averting my eyes.

God: Well don't.


Any line in holy grail is funny...


Arthur: "Excuse me, miss..."

Pesent: "What do you mean miss?"

Arthur: "Sorry I have a cold"


And we cannot forget...


"Bring Out your dead!"

ECarlson 09-05-2002 23:50

"She turned me into a newt"

"You don't look like a newt"

"I got better"

Joe Matt 10-05-2002 08:50

More now:

Climbing North Uxbridge Road

-Some people would say your crazy
-Well....

Jack Regal 28-01-2003 18:18

why, Bicycle Repairman, of course!

Well, the dirty hungarian phrasebook was good too. As was how not to be seen.

Gaaa! I like them all!:)

hixofthehood 28-01-2003 18:25

I should have voted for Spam, Spam, Spam.

I've only ever seen Holy Grail and Life of Brian. Great stuff.

JJG13 28-01-2003 18:35

How to choose, how to choose?

They are all good but I like this one

"Sir, I want to get out of the army."

"Why?"

"There are tanks and people with machine guns, someone could get hurt!"

"Then why did you join the army?

"For the travel and the water skiing, but I wrote specifically on my application 'no killing'."

"Johnson, are you a pacifist?"

"No, I'm a coward!"

GateRunner 28-01-2003 18:45

I voted for Monty Python, but I have to say the "how not to be seen" is very, very close.
Dont forget the Special Olympic!

EddieMcD 28-01-2003 20:36

I can't believe no one's mentioned the holy hand grenade!

"Pull the cross off. Count to three. No more, no less. Then throw."

"1... 2... 4..."

purpledaisy 28-01-2003 22:01

yes, true, all of these are wonderful (though I've not seen the Life of Brian... gotta get my dad out of the house for that one), but I must admit, the one that got my entire suite at camp rolling on the floor laughing was the "Man with a Tape Recorder Up His Nose". it was 10:00 at night (which for camp is rather late), but still...

oh, and i can not forget "How not to be seen". it was the first Python Sketch I quoted incessantly to drive my family mad.
/me tears up dramatically

Marc P. 28-01-2003 22:35

Quote:

Originally posted by EddieMcD
I can't believe no one's mentioned the holy hand grenade!

"Pull the cross off. Count to three. No more, no less. Then throw."

"1... 2... 4..."

Reading through I was going to say that...


But since it's been said, i'll have to say-

"I Fart in your general direction. I unclog my nose at you." ..etc etc. until barnyard animals come flying over the castle wall.

also- the "we found a witch" sketch heh heh, "what floats... "uh, ducks, twigs, very small rocks..." etc.

"bring out yer dead"

Good Stuffs.

OneAngryDaisy 28-01-2003 22:52

Quote:

Originally posted by Marc P.
Reading through I was going to say that...


But since it's been said, i'll have to say-

"I Fart in your general direction. I unclog my nose at you." ..etc etc. until barnyard animals come flying over the castle wall.

also- the "we found a witch" sketch heh heh, "what floats... "uh, ducks, twigs, very small rocks..." etc.

"bring out yer dead"

Good Stuffs.



Finally! The witch sketch is unlaughabeatable- it's absolutely ridiculous!

BEDEMIR: Quiet, quiet. Quiet! There are ways of telling whether
she is a witch.
CROWD: Are there? What are they?
BEDEMIR: Tell me, what do you do with witches?
VILLAGER #2: Burn!
CROWD: Burn, burn them up!
BEDEMIR: And what do you burn apart from witches?
VILLAGER #1: More witches!
VILLAGER #2: Wood!
BEDEMIR: So, why do witches burn?
[pause]
VILLAGER #3: B--... 'cause they're made of wood...?
BEDEMIR: Good!
CROWD: Oh yeah, yeah...
BEDEMIR: So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?
VILLAGER #1: Build a bridge out of her.
BEDEMIR: Aah, but can you not also build bridges out of stone?
VILLAGER #2: Oh, yeah.
BEDEMIR: Does wood sink in water?
VILLAGER #1: No, no.
VILLAGER #2: It floats! It floats!
VILLAGER #1: Throw her into the pond!
CROWD: The pond!
BEDEMIR: What also floats in water?
VILLAGER #1: Bread!
VILLAGER #2: Apples!
VILLAGER #3: Very small rocks!
VILLAGER #1: Cider!
VILLAGER #2: Great gravy!
VILLAGER #1: Cherries!
VILLAGER #2: Mud!
VILLAGER #3: Churches -- churches!
VILLAGER #2: Lead -- lead!
ARTHUR: A duck.
CROWD: Oooh.
BEDEMIR: Exactly! So, logically...,
VILLAGER #1: If... she.. weighs the same as a duck, she's made of
wood.
BEDEMIR: And therefore--?
VILLAGER #1: A witch!
CROWD: A witch!



you've gotta watch it to understand...

George1902 29-01-2003 02:41

ahhhh!? there have even been some members of team 180 to post already!

SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM

but i'm a bit biased, of course =-]

Katie Reynolds 29-01-2003 08:36

Constitutional Peasants (from Holy Grail)

Definitely :)

- Katie

Matthew936 03-02-2003 11:21

Life of Brian
 
Come on people, why am i the only one who loves the Life of Brian. it doesn't get any better, though The Holy Grail is good

Aylish771 25-03-2004 19:56

Re: Favorite Monty Python Sketch/Movie
 
S: This is a dog license with the word 'dog' crossed out and 'cat' written
in in crayon.
C: The man didn't have the right form.


Spectator I: I think it was "Blessed are the cheesemakers".
Bearded Man's Wife: Aha, what's so special about the cheesemakers?
Bearded Man: Well, obviously it's not meant to be taken literally; it refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.

Michelle 236 30-03-2004 18:36

Re: Favorite Monty Python Sketch/Movie
 
RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stina236 30-03-2004 21:45

Re: Favorite Monty Python Sketch/Movie
 
First time i ever say holy grail my friend was so determined that i see the subtitles- they were quite amusing... it's a perfect opening for a hilarious movie!

"Including the majestic moose".... "A moose once bit my sister"... "We apologize for the fault in the subtitles. those responsible have been sacked." ..."Mind you ,moose bites can be pretty nasty"... "We apologize again for the fault in the subtitles. those responsible for sacking the people who have been sacked have been sacked." ... "Moose trained to mix concrete and sign complicated insurance forms by..."

and then..

"Directed by 40 specially trained ecuadorian mountain llamas, 6 venezuelan red llamas, 142 mexican whooping llamas, 14 north chilean guanacos (closely related to the llama) Reg llama of brixton, 76000 battery llamas from "llama-fresh" farms LTD near paraguay and Terry gilliam and terry jones"


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