One of my programming friend's...
"It's not a bug, it's an unadvertised feature..."

I was saying the same thing but it was it was:
Why do we have so many shaft collars?
Why do we have so many bushings?
Why do we have so many springs?
I think have enough supplies to build two robots.
What is that?
Why is there a propane tank in the mechanical box?
Hey I didn't know a pulley was in 2001 bill of materials.
Why can't we standardize our tools, and fasteners?
Nm first has battlebots by two years.

(....kid enters room the drivers are practicing in...)
kid: can I drive the robot?
driver 1: NO!
Kid: why not?
driver 1: just, NO!
(...driver 1 goes to look inside robot....)
kid: I want to drive the robot!
driver 2: you were already told NO!
(..driver 2 goes to other room to get a tool for driver 1....)
...meanwhile, before driver 2 returns... the kid has grabbed ahold of the controls, and attmepted to drive away with the robot as driver 1's head is in the robot..) :rolleyes:

My new quote.... a possibility for my teams unofficial shirts this year... non-engineering, however, I apply it to FIRST:

"Who controls the past, controls the future; who controls the present, controls the past." - Orwell, 84

My favorite non FIRST slogan from Homer Hickam:

Passion, Planning, Perseverance. (What is needed for a FIRST team)



My favorite FIRST slogan (which we would put on all our 255 Robots):


"Robots are expected to survive vigorous interaction with other robots."

This thread is getting long, I can't remember (and I didn't look) if this was posted.

There 6 ways of fixing things that broke: (typical time line of a major componet)
1. Pre-Ship Date: We'll fix that next week, we may not use that component anyways.
2. Ship Date: What do you mean that never got fixed!? We'll fix it in the Pit
3. In the Pit Thursday: We'll fix that after we weight in
4. Later Thursday: We'll fix that after we shave 4 pounds off the robot, someone hand me a drill
5. Friday Morning: Hurry up! there singing the national Anthem, just throw some Duct Tape on it to hold it in place, and we'll fix it after our next round!!
6. Friday Afternoon: We Fixed It!! we can score now!

There are several Grades of repairs that are made in the pits:

1. Professional Grade: Part broke/didn't perform. Whole subsystem if ripped off robot, redesigned, new parts machined, and you still make it to your next match in one piece.

2. Journeyman Grade: Same as above, but you didn't finish before your next match, but your 2nd match has the new system.

3. Normal Grade: We had spare parts, just changed it out and awaayy we go.

4. Typical Grade: ZipTie/DuckTape/30 Second Expoy it back together. Add it to the checklist to inspect before and after everyround. Drive gentel with it, we don't want to stress it.

5. We in the finals (pre 3 team in finals rule) Get all the pieces back on the bot somehow, and "Full Ramming Speed!"

Tools to be used with Mike's Grades of repair:

Professional: Bridgeport at Competition Machine Shop

Journeyman: Table Mounted Mill at Pit

Normal: Saber Saw and Hand Drill

Typical: Hack Saw and Dremel Tool

We in the Finals: Any sharp object (or heavy blunt object) within arm's reach

If duct tape isn't the answer, your not asking the right question.

"The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions."

Murphy's Fifth Law
Selective Gravitation

"A dropped tool will fall where it will do the most damage."

Robot corollary to above: On the way to the Einstein Field for semi-finals.
Happy Thanksgiving,

if it don't fit, get a hammer and force it into place, if it breaks then it wasn't meant to go in the hole the first place.


theres the right tool for every job.


some say the glass is half full, others say its half empty, i say if it breaks it don't matter if it was half empty or full b/c its all over the place

The Glass is Half Full - Optimist
The Glass is Half Empty - Pessimist
The Glass is too Big - Engineer

our team has a couple of their own....
 

SAFETY GLASSES SAVE LIVES!

It's not broken, it lacks duct tape

You can never have enough surgical tubing

Who needs safety glasses when your team issues stainless steel contacts!!

LOL!

Who needs safety glasses when when your team issues nothing but scissors and a pair of dykes?

One I live by ....
 

Tighten it 'till it strips ........ then back it off a quarter turn. :D

I seem to remember from last year...

"If it ain't smokin', it ain't broken!"

-Eric

"Umm ... guys? The motor just released the 'magic white smoke'!!" :confused:

- Katie

Magic Smoke
 

Ah, yes...

"ALL technology is run on 'Magic Smoke' contained within the device. As everyone knows, whenever the magic smoke is released, the device ceases to function."

- Keith

When in doubt, throw it out!

When in doubt, test it out!

One hand in your pocket with high voltage.

Don't let the smoke out!

Flame-on!

Re: One I live by ....
 

Or until the head pops off. (I've only done that once at robots.)

Re: Re: One I live by ....
 

My "Brute"al attempts at tightening or untightening bolts have resulted in this specific instance on several occasions!!

"If it doesn't fit, force it. If it breaks, it was going to break anyway."

(I first heard this from Stokely, but I've seen it in a few different places, so I'm not sure of who to attribute it to.)

....yeah, slogan, right
 

hmmm

if its working, make another while you wait for it to break

dont touch it, or ill break your fingers

women never play fair

the early bird gets the best parking spot

Re: ....yeah, slogan, right
 

hehehe... I think I have found a new motto to live by!
(conversation)
guy: Why did you push that goal out of the zone?
me: Because I felt like it.
guy: That wasn't very fair or nice.
me: Women never play fair!

The one I heard from Woodie.....
 

A few years back, Woodie admonished us :

"Don't let the smoke get out!" I love that one.

You're off the team!
You're fired!

Re: The one I heard from Woodie.....
 

Actually, it's the MAGIC smoke you're not supposed to let out. I guess it's ok to the the other smoke out. ;)

When ever anyone asked how long to cut something, we would reply 'yea'. We found this could apply to distance, time, or mass.

Quote
 

when asked How we are doing are normal reply is
"All we lack is finsishing up"

A new one...
 

We were chatting at the last team meeting when I came up with a couple of new ones to share:

"Take a man to a FIRST contest and he's entertained for three days. Teach a man to build a FIRST robot, and he's out of your hair for six weeks a year..."

"You know your team's not communicating well when you're invited to appear on Springer..."

- Keith

Our Engineer says …(insert name) "You did exactly what I said… NOW let’s…

Here we go again Whoo Hoo !!!! Can't wait to start building, just gotta get through all the meetings !!




When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty.
I only think about how to solve the problem.
But when I have finished, if the solutions not beautiful,
I know it is wrong.
-R. Buckminster Fuller, engineer,
designer, and architect (1895-1983)

Engineering Quote
 

Here is a quote about engineering that dates back to 1976:

ENGINEERING:

"Engineering is the art of modeling materials we do not wholey understand, into shapes we can not precisely analyze, so as to withstand forces we can not properly assess, in such a way that the public has no reason to suspect the extent of our ignorance"


Dr. A. R. Dykes
British Institute of Structural Engineers
(1976)

Another Quote
 

Here's another quote from Winston Churchill that also works for engineering:

"Success Is going From Failure to Failure Without Losing Enthusiasm"

Winston Churchill

One More Quote
 

One more quote that works for engineering:

"WHEN SEARCHING FOR REASONS WHY THINGS GO WRONG,

NEVER RULE OUT SHEER STUPIDITY!"

(AUTHOR UNKNOWN)

When technology fails, as it will at the wrong time.

Duct tape and bubble gum rules the universe....

Mr. Debler, There is an edit function so that you do not have to post replies to yourself within 24 hours(I think) of the original post.

Albert Einstein Quotes
 

Albert must have also been an engineer since he has been quoted for things that apply to them:

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
- Albert Einstein

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world."
- Albert Einstein

"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds."
- Albert Einstein

"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them."
- Albert Einstein

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
- Albert Einstein

And my favorite:

"Things should be as simple as possible, but not simpler"
- Albert Einstein

Harware vs Software...
 

One that got a few chuckles around here:

"The only thing more dangerous than a Programmer with a screwdriver is a Hardware Designer with the root password..."

(FYI, "root" is a unix system's "God" account, who has privileges to do ANYTHING to the system and/or other users...)

- Keith

Stand within 40 feet of our robot at your own risk!:D

"If a Dremel can't fix it, it isn't worth fixing"

__________________________________

Also, our team had a three inch open ended wrench.. we often heard:

"Somebody get the wrench"

A few more I forgot:

"Excuse me while I run the other direction"

"NO!"

"Set Screws Inhale Audibly" --Wody Flowers

"If at first you don't succeed, maybe you shouldn't be trying."

"None of us is as dumb as all of us" --Despair, Inc.

"Shhh... It's thinking" (refering to computer)

"Everybody Clear! Where's Mark?"

"I meant to do that"

the motto
 

good enough

Jokes from my collection
 

Digging into my vast collection of computer humor collected in the past 25 years, I find a few morsels appropriate for us:

Most computer problems are caused by a loose nut between the chair and the keyboard. [Still looking for other nut and bolt jokes]

Q. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb (battery, victor, motor, ...)?
A. None, it's a hardware problem.
[And a million others]

Q. What's another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker on a Pentium?
A. The warning label.
[There are more Pentium jokes from when they had that floating point bug]

What will you do if your robot says, "Will I dream?".

Q. What language do all programmers know very well?
A. Profanity

Q. What is a robot's favorite drinking song?
A. 99 Bottles of oil on the wall

Clarke's Third Law: Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
[That's why the smoke is magic, because afterwards your technology is indistinguishable from junk]

Murphy's Fourth Law: If there are several things that can go wrong at once, the one thing that will do the most damage, will.

Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics: Things get worse under pressure.

This is a story about People named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everyone though Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody would not do it. It ended up that Everyone blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

[Imagine Clint Eastwood is a programmer, holding his Smith & Wesson, of course]
"Go ahead, make one more change!"

Windows are a pane in the glass.
[I have many other Windows jokes, and some are on the back of my van]

I can C!

Aye Matey, if I be a software pirate, what makes you think I'd admit it?

As a programmer and a poet, I write in rhyme, so I can go from baud to verse.

Chip of Fools

I/O, I/O, off to work we go.

On a clear disk, I can seek forever.

Re: Jokes from my collection
 

Ahh yes, the all too common PEBCAK error.

Problem
Exists
Between
Chair
And
Keyboard

Ahh yes, the all too common PEBCAK error.

Problem
Exists
Between
Chair
And
Keyboard

I believe this is also related to the, all to common:

I D Ten Tee error.

More understandable when written properly it looks like:

ID10T

One of THE most common computer problems known to man.

there's also BIOS:

Bicho Ignorante Operando o Sistema

but that doesn't make much sense if you don't speak portuguese, so just forget it. ;)

Rough Translation (I think)
 

If I read that correctly it's something like: "Ignorant Animal Operating the System", right?

That's great... :D

Is that a big saying "way down south" there?

- Keith

"dont trust dan"

"dont trust dan"

Friends don't make friends draw

The Negotiator
 

Meet The Negotiator. It is a lead sledge hammer that dwarfs all other one-handed sledge hammers. When something doesn't fit right, you'll generally hear the following:

<The User>"Blast! This jobbie [pronounced "job-e"] is stuck! Someone get me The Negotiator!"

<From someone supervising the job>"SEND IN THE NEGOTIATOR!"

<From deep in the shop>"We're sending someone in to negotiate!"

<The User><WHAM!>"Okay, that got it!"

I nominate the MOE Pit crew as Progessional grade. During the Philadelphia Alliance Regional, both of MOEHawk's wings sustained damage. The right wing was twisted completely backwards rendering it useless, the left wing was moderatly twisted, and we only had 15min before the next match (note.. after 5min in the pits, they started calling us to be in the queue line).

The pit crew was able to completely replace the right wing along with all sub-systems AND bend the left wing back into working order within the 15min and we were able to deploy, grab all three goals, and held ground the entire 1:53 (after latching down) against 2 robots with minimal support from our allie. We won the match with 0qps because the 'enemy alliance' pulled out of the end zone and blocked our allie from getting into their zone.

Go MOE's Pit Crew!

Fundamental rule of Engineering: "The more complex it is, the more likely it is to fail."

"e^x dy/dx e^x dx.
cos, 1/cos, cos/sin, sin, pi." - excerpt from the Rose-Hulman cheer

"Do you know the Muffin fan . . ."
"The Muffin Fan?"
"The Muffin Fan!!" - will someone PLEASE stop my team from saying this?

"Just build it and let me look at it, and I'll draw it!" - what I said last year

"My ship works better when I kick it . . ." - Cowboy Bebop

"Your tax dollars at work" - informal name of our robo (in reference to our NASA grant)

"Never underestimate the power, number, or magnitude of stupid people." - me

oh and my ever famous motto
"dont stop till you hear glass breaking"
that can be applied to so many things whether it be parking or general shenanigans

What does an engineer use for birth control?
-Their personality.

Team Member: "There are no attractive women in this room."
Female Team Member: "Guess you're right. You do have a larger rack than I do."

Wearing Camo Labcoat "Alright you newbies, this here is Oakwood Robotics 992, the best of the best. We are gonna do something this year, and you are not going to mess up this man robotics club. Do you understand me maggots!"

"I think we need to do aerodynamic tests on the boxes."
"Oooh! Oooh! Can I throw it now?"

"The physics don't allow that."
"But it's so cool."

Parkinson's Law:

"A project will increase or decrease the time needed to complete it to fill exactly the time alloted for it."

--Petey

It's not what you know, but what you are willing to learn. ~Me

oh and my motto for life "THINK the safe way is the best way"

Our software doesn't have bugs, it simply develops random features....


If it falls off, it obviously wasn't important, or it would have been attached better....

It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye...then it's fun and games in the dark...

-Steve

I've always liked

theres never enough time to do it right, but theres plenty of time to do it twice


and


if its not broke, theres not enough features

if something doesn't fit, I usually just say you have to lie to it a little bit.

It'll find a happy place.

BAH = Big @$$ Holes - Allows for some slop for everthing to fit perfectly every time.

If it doesn't fit you didn't drill the holes big enough.

Looks straight to me.

If there's no tolerance listed, just assume it's a quarter inch or so.


Hey, can we get a list of all these on CD sort of like the spotlight list?

Engineering Sayings
 

Our team particularly likes to use the phrase PFM - Pure Flipping Magic to describe anything that has anything at all to do with electronics. We also use the "it can be fixed in software" phrase all the time during our fabrication and design.

I really liked Woddie's "Mother nature does not give partial credit" during the kickoff.

In the fab shop we also go with "Slop is good" - at least to an extent. On the same token, if something is too tight to fit together we say that it was machined accurate to the nearest atom. When a part comes out too inaccurate to use we say that it was made with ¼ inch accuracy on an 1/8 inch part.

We also always result back to the simple K.I.S.S. principal.

"worry about thie ounces and let the pounds worry about themselves."
-George Williams
60's machinist

What sipmle logic right, and the best part, it works 60 has never had to make a robot that looks like swiss cheese thanks to this philosophy.

Aaah, you guys just don't have macheesemo

Here's one from our transmitter supervisor...
"Remember, at one time, even Thomas Edison didn't know what electricity was!"

Duct tape will save us all
and
Destroy them All! Rise to the Communist Manifesto! Rise and Shine!
and
Try, Try Again, and if all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.
and (refer to FIRST slogan below):D

one of our main slogans last year was (in unison):

CLOOOOOOSEEEEEEEE ENOOOOUUUUUUUGH!!!!!!!!


this years will be:


IF IT AINT DONE TWICE, IT AINT DONE RIGHT!!!

If you don't have enough time to do it right,

How will you have enough time to do it over?

zip ties fix everything. . . . for a time

best one yet
 

This one is from the 442nd regiment american japanese during the second world war and a favorite of mine. "Go for Broke" this is a classic and tells what we all do to find the problems of our robots. Anyone disagree with me? Latter From guy with black and red yankees cap. Go team 303:cool:

In regards to gearboxes...

"You have to design these things? Since when?"

lol

My personal favorite.. "If it ain't broke, fix it till it is"

BFI
 

Our general motto is,
If all else fails use BFI... Brute Force and Ignorance

Re: BFI
 

I seconde! :rolleyes:

if it doesnt fit the first time, use a bigger hammer
if that doesnt work, u didnt hit it hard enough

Re: Rough Translation (I think)
 

Yeah, how did you know? Did a search on Google? :D

159 has a couple that I'm pretty fond of.

My favorite, slightly edited:
"Who the [blazes] keeps plugging in the [blazes] light?"

When one of my programmers told me the program was "done:"
"We don't even have a robot built yet! The program won't be 'done' until the robot is on the field, and even then it will only be 'done' for 2 minutes!"

Of course, "Hand me that persuader!"

When asked, "where did you get the speed for that motor," I usually reply, "A PDOOMA graph, of course."

I'm sure there are a bunch that I'm forgetting, too.

My favorite, as well as my programming slogan.
KISS: Keep It Simple Stupid

:)
 

You Guys Have Made My Day.
I think There Should Be More Posts Like This

Re: Rough Translation (I think)
 

Nope. Didn't think to look there! I'll have to remember that.

Obligatory foreign language Engineering Slogan (Hmmm... Let's try composing something 'FIRST-relevant' in Portuguese today...):

- "Errar é Humano. Arredondar é Basic Stamp..."

(To err is human. To round off is Basic Stamp...)

Was that close? :D

- Keith

Re: Re: Rough Translation (I think)
 

Correct! :)
Do you actually speak Portuguese? Where did you learn it?

To keep it on topic, try this one:

Se a mensagem não estiver clara, aumente o brilho da tela.

Re: Re: Re: Rough Translation (I think)
 

If the message is not clear, adjust the brightness from the screen.

Is that it?

Re: Re: Re: Re: Rough Translation (I think)
 

Hmmm... I'd think that it should be "If the message is not clear, adjust the brightness OF the screen". However, I'm not sure... Is there a "feminine" connotation to it, like "if HER message is unclear"?

Sorry, not really. I just happen to dabble in languages (computer and human). But I have heard it before. I'm fortunate enough to live in a college town where people come from all over the world speaking different tongues.

Luckily, Portuguese is a Latin descendant, and fairly close to both French and Spanish, so the written version is not TOO hard for me to parse out (given LOTS of time). But I'd be totally lost if it was spoken to me conversationally (especially at normal speed), or I had to puzzle out more than a snatch of it at a time without a dictionary for the unusual words.

As I sometimes say, "I know enough of several languages to get myself INTO trouble, but not necessarily enough to get myself OUT of it!" ;)

One last crack at Portuguese, then I'm done. I'm going WAY out on a limb this time... Here's one you do NOT want to hear from your teammates during a break at the "2013 International FIRST Finals" in Brazil... ;)

- "POR FAVOR promessa você nunca requisitará o jantar da equipe em Portuguese outra vez..."

("PLEASE promise you'll never try to order the team's dinner in Portuguese again...")

Did I come close? :D

OOC, do the Engineering Slogans from this thread translate well into Portuguese, or are some too idiomatic to work?

This has been fun! Thanks!

- Keith

Here are just a few from us at team 1158

If it works take the credit
If it fails blame the engineers

American parts Russian parts all made in Taiwan

I am a responsible guy, if anything breaks i am usually responsible

Size does count

Why is it smoking?
it's not on fire, yet!

What does this do?
oops!!!

What is that strange grinding sound?

No you can't drive

which direction does this go in?

hmm the red wire or the black wire?
ahh whats the difference just choose one.

measure twice, cut once, get the hammer

You nod your head, I'll hit it with a hammer

Will post more when they come to mind

how about, N.F.G

hehe, its either a Non Functional Gear or... No -------- Good

Bad

More slogans...
 

"FIRST: We take young human beings, born in captivity, educate them in science and technology, and re-release them into the wild." -Keith McClary

"Hey! Don't knock Dean Kamen. Inventors are often well off. Remember, the inventor of the hay bailing machine sure made a bundle..." -Keith McClary

"Of course we can build that! Remember, a pessimist's blood type is always b-negative."

"Always go the extra mile... It's never crowded."

"Sure Cinderella was lousy at sports, but what did you expect? She only had a pumpkin for a Coach..."

"Your teammates need YOU. You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person."

"Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again."

"Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once..."

"All the water in the world cannot sink the smallest ship unless it gets inside."

"There is ALWAYS a way... Thinking of it before you NEED to is the REAL trick..."

"Committment can be illustrated by a breakfast of Ham and Eggs: The chicken was involved, the pig was committed..."

"What's a Trebuchet? Why, it's a primitive form of overhead projector..." -Keith McClary

"We do not rise to the level of our expectations, but fall to the level of our training."

"Counting in binary is just like counting in decimal... if you are all thumbs..."

"He's got a magnet!!! Everybody BACKUP!!!!"

"What's a 'Maintenance Free Battery'?" "That means it's impossible to fix...."

"What boots up must come down."

(...And here are some Week Six laments for you to use if it's not going as you wish and your frustration level rises: :D )

"If it weren't for STRESS I'd have no energy at all..."

"You know, some days it just doesn't pay to gnaw through the straps..."

"Federal Expresso: When you absolutely, positively have to stay up all night to finish the robot..."

Heh, my math teacher told us today:

"It doesn't matter what you failed to practice yesterday, or what you are going to practice tomorrow. Now is now. You have only this moment."

He said that in regards to playing basketball ... but I think it works for FIRST matches too! :D

- Katie

(dunno is this has been used before)

1. That? oh we'll fix that in the programming

2. is that the right tool for the job?

3. That wasn't supposed to happen it must be a programming error!

thats all that I can think of at the moment

Cory

[quote]Originally posted by TommyT
[b]I've always liked

theres never enough time to do it right, but theres plenty of time to do it twice


this also applies to G W bush

It's not really a saying, but we call anything that isn't made nice and solid; "pansy-$@#$@#$@#." The saying began last year, or the year before, when one of the engineers brought in some washers. He said, "I got these pansy-$@#$@#$@# washers here." After that, the phrase has stuck.

We also have a running joke about "Wayne's nuts," but I won't go into that one. ;)

[Edit] Oops, I guess I got filterized. The censored word begins with an 'a' and ends with an 's'. You can figure it out from there. It's not too bad.

They always tell you to use the right tool for the job, but the wrong tool does it so much better.

"If it fits, use it." -me, using a torx 10 bit for a 3 mm hex hole :D

It's all about "love taps" with the hammer.... "don't worry robot, this won't hurt a bit... I just have to get the bearings that expanded and jammed while welding out..."


A part in place each day keeps the engineers at bay.


sleep = Sacrifice Livelyhood for Every Engineer Please.


The pen is mightier than the sword, but the bandsaw can chop them both.

Close enough for engineering!

Hammer wisdom
 

"When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail..."

Material Selection
 

That's just the thing about plastic or brass gears; they tend to morph into plastic or brass washers real fast.

"Don't think, just drill"

"Guess which finger I'm going to show you?"