Chuck Norris
 

Alright while the Chuck Norris Plague is still spreading around... or maybe its just here, but what are the weirdest Chuck Norris "Facts" you have heard

"Chuck Norris can divide by zero"
"Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door"
"rock beats scissor, Scissor beats paper, and Paper beats rock, But Chuck Norris beats all three"
"Chuck Norris has no chin behind his beard, only another fist"
"There is no such thing as evolution, only creatures that Chuck Norris has allowed to live"
"If you want a list of Chuck Norris' Enemies check the list of extinct species"
"Chuck Norris went to Mars before we did, thats why there is no life"
"The number of roundhouse kicks has increased 13,000% since Chuck Norris was born"

Re: Chuck Norris
 

Oh geez! :rolleyes:
Our drives team is addicted to those.
I see you found the clean version of them.

Re: Chuck Norris
 

I feel so left out since I have no flipping clue who Chuck Norris is. (I've had people show/explain but it means nothing since I've never seen it for myself)

But yeah :: related thread http://www.chiefdelphi.com/forums/sh...ad.php?t=42761

But they are beginning to make me laugh. (Thanks to repeatedness I suppose)

Re: Chuck Norris
 

Weirdest: The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer

Not as weird but good:

• If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
• Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
• Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
• Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
• There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
• Chuck Norris's show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.

Oh there are some good ones....

Re: Chuck Norris
 

Yeah... those are clean i refrained from the vulgarities of the others.

Re: Chuck Norris
 

Chuck Norris and Mr. T once walked into a bar together. The bar exploded because it could not take so much awesomeness at one time.

From the explosion came Vin Diesel.

Re: Chuck Norris
 

Chuck Norris Does not follow fashion trends. Fashion trends follow Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Re: Chuck Norris
 

Why is Chuck Norris before cancer? well...
Chuck Norris's Tears can cure cancer. To bad he never cries.


We posted a whole list in our school paper.

Re: Chuck Norris
 

Chuck Norris can divide by zero, but JVN did it first.

Re: Chuck Norris
 

Chuck Norris punches the alliance station wall and wins autonomous.

Chuck Norris has a holonomic drive that can push anyone across the field.

Chuck Norris can be the human player and throw a Poof ball into the 3 point goal and it counts.

During alliance selection, Chuck Norris has the #1 and #2 pick before everyone else, but he picks teams who are not even there.

Woodie Flowers would like to win the Chuck Norris award.

Re: Chuck Norris
 

hahahaha

Re: Chuck Norris
 

Well, I picked these off a website, but they're the ones that made me almost spit Fanta on the keyboard :p

• In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

• While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

• Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

• Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

• Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Re: Chuck Norris
 

Chuck Norris does not need an operator interface to control robots.

Chuck Norris can undo magic smoke.

Chuck Norris wants to be the real JVN.

Re: Chuck Norris
 

Chuck Norris can webhug himself.

Re: Chuck Norris
 

chuck norris blames the programmers