Chuck Norris
 

Alright while the Chuck Norris Plague is still spreading around... or maybe its just here, but what are the weirdest Chuck Norris "Facts" you have heard

"Chuck Norris can divide by zero"
"Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door"
"rock beats scissor, Scissor beats paper, and Paper beats rock, But Chuck Norris beats all three"
"Chuck Norris has no chin behind his beard, only another fist"
"There is no such thing as evolution, only creatures that Chuck Norris has allowed to live"
"If you want a list of Chuck Norris' Enemies check the list of extinct species"
"Chuck Norris went to Mars before we did, thats why there is no life"
"The number of roundhouse kicks has increased 13,000% since Chuck Norris was born"

Re: Chuck Norris
 

Oh geez! :rolleyes:
Our drives team is addicted to those.
I see you found the clean version of them.

Re: Chuck Norris
 

I feel so left out since I have no flipping clue who Chuck Norris is. (I've had people show/explain but it means nothing since I've never seen it for myself)

But yeah :: related thread http://www.chiefdelphi.com/forums/sh...ad.php?t=42761

But they are beginning to make me laugh. (Thanks to repeatedness I suppose)

Re: Chuck Norris
 

Weirdest: The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer

Not as weird but good:

• If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
• Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
• Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
• Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
• There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
• Chuck Norris's show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.

Oh there are some good ones....

Re: Chuck Norris
 

Yeah... those are clean i refrained from the vulgarities of the others.

Re: Chuck Norris
 

Chuck Norris and Mr. T once walked into a bar together. The bar exploded because it could not take so much awesomeness at one time.

From the explosion came Vin Diesel.

Re: Chuck Norris
 

Chuck Norris Does not follow fashion trends. Fashion trends follow Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Re: Chuck Norris
 

Why is Chuck Norris before cancer? well...
Chuck Norris's Tears can cure cancer. To bad he never cries.


We posted a whole list in our school paper.

Re: Chuck Norris
 

Chuck Norris can divide by zero, but JVN did it first.

Re: Chuck Norris
 

Chuck Norris punches the alliance station wall and wins autonomous.

Chuck Norris has a holonomic drive that can push anyone across the field.

Chuck Norris can be the human player and throw a Poof ball into the 3 point goal and it counts.

During alliance selection, Chuck Norris has the #1 and #2 pick before everyone else, but he picks teams who are not even there.

Woodie Flowers would like to win the Chuck Norris award.

Re: Chuck Norris
 

hahahaha

Re: Chuck Norris
 

Well, I picked these off a website, but they're the ones that made me almost spit Fanta on the keyboard :p

• In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

• While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

• Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

• Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

• Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

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Chuck Norris does not need an operator interface to control robots.

Chuck Norris can undo magic smoke.

Chuck Norris wants to be the real JVN.

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Chuck Norris can webhug himself.

Re: Chuck Norris
 

chuck norris blames the programmers

Re: Chuck Norris
 

I have no clue who Chuck Norris is...but everytime I hear that name I think of this

Re: Chuck Norris
 

Chuck Norris ordered a steak. The steak did what it was told.
Chuck Norris doesn't believe in ravioli. Instead, he stuff's turtle shells full of beef and slathers it in pig's blood.

Re: Chuck Norris
 

well for those of you who have no idea who Chuck Norris is, he was the main actor in Walker Texas Ranger. He lost to no one, and roundhouse kicked every one of his opponents at least once.

Re: Chuck Norris
 

LOL that video was hilarious :)

Re: Chuck Norris
 

for all the norris fans out there:
watch this

:D :D :D

Re: Chuck Norris
 

My team has allready caught the fever, seeing as how our robot is actually named "Chuck Norris" this year in his honor. If you look closely, you can see the Official Chuck Norris Seals of Approval on various parts of our robot.

Anyways, here are a couple of my favorites:

-Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.

-Chuck Norris once took down a German fighter plane only using his finger and yelling "BANG!"

-Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter, he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

-When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends a blank form and a picture of himself crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has never paid taxes to this day.

-Chuck Norris can eat only one Lay's potato chip.

Re: Chuck Norris
 

•Chuck Norris can dump & shoot AT THE SAME TIME
•Chuck Norris has 20,000 inch pounds of torque
•Chuck Norris moves at 100 ft a second
•Chuck Norris automatically wins autonomous
•Chuck Norris never has to change a battery, the batteries recharge out of fear
•Chuck Norris has an 8 speed switch on the fly transmission, all gear ratios are variations of walk and kill

Re: Chuck Norris
 

"Someone once told Chuck Norris a roundhouse kick was not hte most effective way to kick someone. That went down in history as the worst mistake anyone has ever made."

Re: Chuck Norris
 

YES BUT!!! Does anyone out there remember "Chuck Norris guy"? Chuck Norris guy is a DEKA engineer who looks like Chuck Norris I never got to get his name but he used to work the field at the DEKA New England Regional up here in New Hampshire in 97/98.

Justin

Re: Chuck Norris
 

Chuck Norris counted to infinity....Twice.

Someone once wanted to put Chuck Norrris' face on Mt. Rushmore....Too bad his beard was too tough for the granite.

Daylight savings time is in result of one too many roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris...Apparently this resulted in the earth recoiling from the force of the kick.

Martha Stewart and Chuck Norris dated once, sadly the relationship didn't last; turns out Martha defeated Chuck Norris...Apparently she won because Martha is more of a man than Chuck Norris.

LOL

Re: Chuck Norris
 

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

:D

Re: Chuck Norris
 

Did you guys know that Chuck Norris was my first childhood crush? Brock from Pokemon was my second...or was it the guy from the Perfection commerical?

I had weird taste when I was a kiddie.

Re: Chuck Norris
 

chuck norris doesn't even need mentors, sponsors, any engineers, or students. nor does he need 6 wks to build the robot, take pictures and video of the process, make a website, do an animation, and work on CAD. oh and in between he roundhouse kicked FIRST and declared he was the winner for every year of competition

Re: Chuck Norris
 

Here's my favs
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.
Chuck Norris is a man of few words. Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.
Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion , now Neo is "The Two"
Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.
Chuck Norris' iPod came with a real charger instead of just a USB cord
Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.
Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.
Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
Yeah I love Chuck Norris jokes

Re: Chuck Norris
 

Chuck Norris jokes are quite fun!
I've always wondered what stirred this craze that swept the nation...

Alas one of my personal favorites:

"When Chuck Norris was born he roundhouse kicked the doctor in the face, because only Chuck Norris can deliver Chuck Norris." :D

Re: Chuck Norris
 

Conan O'Brian Started the sweep. However the jokes didn't permiate from him. He did a segment about Walker, that was a staple of his late night show.

Re: Chuck Norris
 

Chuck Norris was once given a ticket for going 100 mph in a 50 mph zone. When he went to refute the ticket, he claimed that he was only out for a "light jog"...

Re: Chuck Norris
 

I think this says it all.