having a life?
 

how do those of you that have one keep girl friend* during the build season?

Re: having a life?
 

gf?

Re: having a life?
 

hmm.. my robot is my gf:D

Re: having a life?
 

She'd better be very understanding and patient.

Re: having a life?
 

well, sacrifices must be made.... and of course, that one time you promise to go to her house, she might just have to come down to the machine shop for that romantic dinner....

or just say "hey, i need some time away, call me in 6 weeks"

Re: having a life?
 

I got her involved too. :)

Wetzel

Re: having a life?
 

A friend of mine once told me some great advice in having and keeping a girfriend (or even a boyfriend for all you girls in FIRST) while build season is upon us.

A) If you date on the same FIRST team make sure you are not on the same sub team. ie: Drivers should not date drivers, and what not. Tension on the field can lead to tension off the field. (Not a good thing!)

B) If you date a member on another FIRST team keep the relationship between the two of you on a different level than the relationship between your teams (if one exists). ie: No picking your gf or bf's team in the finals just to get some brownie points with them. Compete in the competition to have fun and to maybe win, but if that means picking another team over your gf or bf's team then so be it. No hard feelings should be held on either side.

C) If dating outside of FIRST, make sure they understand your commitment level in the program. ie: You have no life for 6 weeks basically, and the only Valentine you are giving out this year is yet another gift (part) to your robot. :p (Just kidding on that Valentine's comment folks. Don't forget and/or ignore the signifigant other. It's a very bad thing!!!)

C2) If dating outside of FIRST and they are also in a program (sports, extracurricular, etc..) or were at one time, then they should realize how important the program and the team is to you. Choices should not have to be made between the two, but a middle ground of time spent with each can be achieved. It just takes some nice schedule shifting at times.

For all those who see the 6 weeks as a time to become a hermit to the "outside of FIRST world", never fear. The weekends can offer some hope and hey.. you have all day at school to socialize as well.

Good luck to all with the build season, and also the socializing scene.

The skills you learn in FIRST can and will equate to your socializing skills.

Dont forget, you may not know what a 1/4-20 screw is or what it even looks like, but at least learn how to socialize when in FIRST.

That is one of the skills you will need your whole life to be successful.

:)

Re: having a life?
 

If I may add a couple of suggestions to Elgin's excellent advise:

D. Whether or not your significant other understands FIRST, your relationship will wither if you don't find a way to connect regularly. Let them know you're thinking of them every day - text, call, or touch - and get a card, flowers or trinket for them regularly.

E. Set a Date Night and don't miss it. You'll probably be a more productive member of your team if you get away from it once a week anyway!

Re: having a life?
 

I got married on January 5th, at 6:00 pm, had a nice little reception at our house, and then was at school to shepherd my minions... er... students to kickoff at 7:15am the next morning! :yikes:

That's how you keep your significant other during the build season!

Re: having a life?
 

In this case, put 'LOTS of' in front of Pete's - cards, flowers, trinkets - advice.
----
And, to add, don't be grumpy. No one is allowed to be grumpy during build. Did you know that? :)

Re: having a life?
 

She has track practice the same time I have shop, so...

Re: having a life?
 

Same here.

Make sure never to bail out on times you do plan with them outside of your team; this is especially important when your significant other has their birthday right in the middle of build season!

Re: having a life?
 

Yep, get 'em involved... this works for the mentors too... it's what Eric did with me, and now I spend more time doing robotics stuff than he does...

And if FIRST isn't right for the person you are dating you'll have to find balance between the two, something you can both be happy with. It's easy to say if she really likes/loves you she'll be glad you found something that you enjoy to the point of deliriousness, but emotions are funny things and it's easy to get hurt/jealous when your boyfriend/girlfriend spends more time with a mess of motors and metal than with you. Like it's already been said, find a way to let her know you're thinking about her, build season, that crazy time demanding aspect of FIRST only lasts 6 weeks, a relationship that's strong should easily be able to weather that, if not, maybe it just wasn't meant to be.

Heidi

Re: having a life?
 

never having been spoken for during the build season, i can't claim to know too much about making it work. i would, however, suggest forgoing sleep for the six weeks, and using that extra 6-8 hours a day to get your homework done and make some kind of contact with your siginificant other. be sure to change the shock pads each day, though, because as the season wears on they'll dry out from jolting you awake more and more frequently.

Re: having a life?
 

Well,
To solve the possibilities of this problem, follow a simple method to retain that significant other:

1) DON'T FORGET HER/HIM!! Worst possible thing you can do, for if you keep a good contact going with them, you will both be happier.

2) Take a night off a week. This goes two fold, firstly it keeps them knowing you are still there and secondly, it gets you out of the pit and into the real world.

3) Eliminate other distractions. During the off season, you may play video games, go to the movies every night or some other activity. Remove it from your schedule if at all possible. For me, it was my lame job selling chicken.

4) Try and bring them into the shop one night. They will either see how great FIRST is and join up or they will notice how much you work and give you a new found respect. Win win.

Remember, FIRST is a great opportunity that will get you ahead in the long run but don't forget about the short run either.

Re: having a life?
 

I seriously think that dating within the team is already a bad idea. A really bad idea. What if something happens? A break up or something. Then it will be awkward until one of you leaves the team. Also, it looks really crappy when we have team members cuddling in the stands and giving us uneeded PDA.

Re: having a life?
 

now, if i date a girl on a different team, like say, 1547 for example, can i cuddle in the stands with her? and what about those PDA's, when is too much? surely a calm little peck on the cheek is fine....

Re: having a life?
 

It's not up to me what you do :p ;)

I've had a few unhappy experiences in the past when team members would rather spend their time making out with their partners than help the team out by scouting.

I don't mind partners being next to eachother or anything. The best would be to not have any idea in my mind that those two people are dating.

Re: having a life?
 

Everyone's suggesting all of these fancy plans but all I do for the FIRST season season is let her know I still love and care for her. In some cases (I know it's hard) you just need you sit down with her and tell her that you love her. Tell her about the FIRST season. Ask her if she wants to join. If she doesn't then just make sure to get the message across to her that you'll just be busy, you haven't forgotten about her. Make your efforts to come out of robotics to see her known. And for heaven sake DO NOT LET HER SEE THIS THREAD. If she's the right girl for you, she'll understand. It's only 6 weeks out of 52, how bad can it be?

Re: having a life?
 

Agreed. Dating inside a team is a recipe for disaster. ESPECIALLY during the season.

Re: having a life?
 

Well I wouldn't say that. I am a firm believer that people can express themselves in any way they want, however if you and/or your (gender)friend have any decency then I think you should save the cuddling for later. I think people have enough self control. Tension shouldn't be a problem if you guys already have it worked out before regionals/finals.

Re: having a life?
 

First off, you need to examine the title of the thread... Your Girlfriend shouldn't be your life. Not in highschool, anyway. Secondly, I cannot agree more with the suggestion to not date within the team, as it can tear an entire team apart if things go badly.

As far as how to keep one, here's advice from two seasons of having one and keeping her: If she'll leave because you spend a lot of time doing what you love, do you really think he/she is right for you? Seriously, if they leave just because you spend a lot of time in the shop, then they clearly don't care enough about your interests. My girlfriend (who is awesome) would come in and visit, and would force me to take breaks and spend time on homework. If it weren't for her, I'm sure I would have failed school last year. But take my advice: Never put robotics above them if you are serious about the relationship. If you make a date, KEEP IT. If you promise time to hang out, KEEP IT.

Just my two cents from my experience.

Re: having a life?
 

Although, it would make a great reality tv show, eh?

As for relationships, I find that during robotics season, I have something passionate to talk about. Whether it be friends, date, or parents, robotics is great as a conversation/debate starter, etc. I'd really encourage everybody to talk, talk, talk about it. It's one of the more (most) interesting extracirricular activities out there. And it's not just about the robots. It's about the neat things you learn about people and how they work together and apart.

And if worse comes to worse, there's always something to complain about.

Re: having a life?
 

hey now...

Re: having a life?
 

So.. Where's Waldo??

Oh.. LOOK I FOUND WALDO!!! Over there cuddling in the stands!!! OH NO's!!! :rolleyes:

Re: having a life?
 

My Girlfriend Hannah and I have been together for almost two years now (not that long in the grand scheme of things, but it is an accomplishment nonetheless), and although she isn't involved in robotics, she understands that FIRST is part of the deal with me; just as I understand that work is very important to her. It gets hard to schedule dinner or other formal dates sometimes, but we make sure to see each other for an hour or two every day, or at the very least one of us will stop in to say hi before going home for the night.
Now, I'm no love doctor or anything, but an over all tip for dating is to surprise her with flowers/homemade cards or any other Thoughtful gift without being reminded. To me... this doesn't seem too hard, as I think of her a lot anyway, but for some of my friends, it seems to be the hardest thing in the world to do.

Basically, just don't let FIRST make you forget about her.


-Cody C

Re: having a life?
 

whats wrong with cuddling? i find nothing wrong, Laura, wanna back me up here? maybe at nationals we can show Elgin Clock how to cuddle /wink

Re: having a life?
 

Remember that FIRST may be Life but you can always take a day or 2 off during the build season to be with your gf or bf. Also make sure your Gf of Bf knows what goes on during January and February and even March before you even start going out to let them knwo how dedicated you are and whatever.

As for PDA's at events, My team has always had rules in our code of conduct that all PDA's are to be held outside of the event. This helps make your team look more professional and it keeps the kids minds on the robot and other robots ie. scouting instead of canoodling in the stands. and hey how hard is it to not hug,kiss, or cuddle for a few hours? lol

Re: having a life?
 

4) Try and bring them into the shop one night. They will either see how great FIRST is and join up or they will notice how much you work and give you a new found respect. Win win.

Or some girls may think to themselves "Wow why do i date this guy" and that would suck.

Re: having a life?
 

FRC is my social life, so I don't have much to worry about...

Re: having a life?
 

I think in reality if the people dating on the SAME team have even an ounce of self control you can date within the team. Our team is made up of pretty much the same kids and inner-'teams' as there's been since our FLL days so when people broke up nothing changed and even while they were dating you could hardly tell except for the jokes that were going around.

Managing a relationship within the team is great. I mean 150 + hours doing things in robotics and having a relationship with them at the same time builds pretty interesting bonds and you learn a lot from it for a relationship. Depends on the people though, some can handle it some can't.

Re: having a life?
 

I am the only girl on my team, so I don't have a gf, but occasionally someone else's gf would come and and bring snacks or take pictures or kill time until they had to be somewhere, so they still got to see their boyfriends, and occasionally I had another girl to chat with!

As for me, I don't have a boyfriend, so all I need to do is reintroduce myself to my best friends and hope that my bus driver still remembers me...:yikes: