Chief Delphi - Programming jokes

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Chief Delphi (http://www.chiefdelphi.com/forums/index.php)

- Programming (http://www.chiefdelphi.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=51)

- - Programming jokes (http://www.chiefdelphi.com/forums/showthread.php?t=55817)

JesseK

10-12-2007 10:41

Re: Programming jokes

Quote:

Haha, I know the person who designed/consulted on the paper clip (he's a professor at Stanford). Apparently Microsoft listened to about 2% of his advice and that's why it turned out so badly.

Maybe he lacked the proper people skills. Many a great idea go mutiliated or unknown because someone doesn't speak up enough or that someone lacks the insight into how to be pushy enough to make the idea become a success.

(Java-C-MPLab pseudo-goullash code)

Code:

int rand = Math.rand() * 127;

int pos_neg = Math.rand;

if(pos_neg > 0.5) 

pos_neg = 1;

else 

pos_neg = -1;



//Drive Motors

pwm_04=pwm_05=(rand + 127);

pwm_06=pwm_07=(rand * pos_neg + 127);



//Arm

pwm_08=255; //Arms up!

pwm_09=(rand/2*pos_neg + 127);  //Wavy hands

This isn't a joke; this will be our autonomous algorithm next year if our students don't come up with anything to do in autonomous. Students be warned!

artdutra04

10-12-2007 12:14

Re: Programming jokes

Quote:

Originally Posted by JesseK (Post 657423)

Code:

int rand = Math.rand() * 127;

int pos_neg = Math.rand;

if(pos_neg > 0.5) 

pos_neg = 1;

else 

pos_neg = -1;



//Drive Motors

pwm_04=pwm_05=(rand + 127);

pwm_06=pwm_07=(rand * pos_neg + 127);



//Arm

pwm_08=255; //Arms up!

pwm_09=(rand/2*pos_neg + 127);  //Wavy hands

This isn't a joke; this will be our autonomous algorithm next year if our students don't come up with anything to do in autonomous. Students be warned!

The only downside to this algorithm is that there is no rand() function of any kind on our controller. :)

The best way I've found to generate "random" numbers on Vex/FRC controllers is to start a timer at the beginning of your program, and whenever you need a random number get the modulus of the timer value when divided by a number of your choice.

JesseK

10-12-2007 12:29

Re: Programming jokes

Quote:

Originally Posted by artdutra04 (Post 657435)

Well, problem solved. The algorithm stands!

Laaba 80

11-12-2007 19:00

Re: Programming jokes

Our teams first year we were trying to get the camera to work. It did everything except what we told it to do. We were just about to stop for the night when one of our mentors walks by and the camera starts moving. We have him walk by again, and it moves again. We coulnd never get the camera to track the green light that year, but we managed to successfully track our mentors bald spot:)

whytheheckme

18-12-2007 23:39

Re: Programming jokes

Interactive real time 100fps 3D reality is discovered by a programmer who went for a walk.

slavik262

19-12-2007 00:21

Re: Programming jokes

It probably requires DirectX 10 though. No way I could run that "Reality" engine :D

whytheheckme

19-12-2007 12:52

Re: Programming jokes

Quote:

Originally Posted by basicxman (Post 654877)

i am so glad they took Mr. Clippy out of microsoft office in the new version

has anyone seen family guy when stewies taking over the world and the paperclip asks him if he needs help? that was hilarious!

I just found the episode online, and took the screenshot.

:p

Jacob

Salik Syed

20-12-2007 04:17

Re: Programming jokes

Quote:

Originally Posted by artdutra04 (Post 657435)

That is a pretty bad idea because you are bound to get high periodicity given this method if you need to generate random numbers sequentially.

a really simple way of doing it is to use a LCG (Linear Congruential Generator ... this is what the lcg_value function in php does)

X.0 is your seed

X.n+1 = (a*X.n + c) mod m

wikipedia suggests:
a = 1664525, c = 1013904223, m = 232

this is *still* not a great way to generate random numbers if you are doing simulations, but as far as FIRST applications go it should be pretty sufficient.

Salik Syed

20-12-2007 04:22

Re: Programming jokes

Quote:

Originally Posted by JesseK (Post 657423)

Code:

int rand = Math.rand() * 127;

int pos_neg = Math.rand;

if(pos_neg > 0.5) 

pos_neg = 1;

else 

pos_neg = -1;



//Drive Motors

pwm_04=pwm_05=(rand + 127);

pwm_06=pwm_07=(rand * pos_neg + 127);



//Arm

pwm_08=255; //Arms up!

pwm_09=(rand/2*pos_neg + 127);  //Wavy hands

This isn't a joke; this will be our autonomous algorithm next year if our students don't come up with anything to do in autonomous. Students be warned!

I can tell you that was definitely not the case with this guy, he is one of the most gregarious outgoing guys I have ever met... I think this was more a case of microsoft being microsoft. The primary problem was that they did NOT track previous user interactions with the paper clip, and by presenting the paper clip as a "living" character they created expectations of that from the user without ever delivering it.

FRC4ME

09-03-2008 23:35

Re: Programming jokes

After saying "this is it, I have the right answer!" countless times only to discover that it was not the right answer, I developed my universal programming qualifier:

"In my perhaps slightly correct opinion, I think I may have possibly estimated what I believe could maybe be almost somewhat close to a semi-decent approximation of the nearly-correct answer."

ComradeNikolai

10-03-2008 08:41

Re: Programming jokes

I was in the back of our room doing the programming (I use the computer in the back, MPLAB is on it, and then the computer in the front downloads it), so I told my coach is was ok to go ahead and download the autonomous, which he did. He consequently tested it and Fluffy raised her arm and lunged forward, nearly killing our coach's projector.

After that, he learned where the "robot reset" button was.

cerberus170

10-03-2008 10:11

Re: Programming jokes

here are a few i thought of:

1. Right code, wrong robot

2. Oh, it wasn't supposed to do that?

3. I think something is wrong, I keep getting "build succeeded"

4. Digital inputs on the robot controller are not the same as the oi

5. I thought you were programming

6. Sure I can write my own game, but I think asking me to make the robot go forward 10 feet without setting itself on fire is a little too much to ask.

basicxman

10-03-2008 12:58

Re: Programming jokes

Quote:

A friend and I were standing around the grill, watching the burgers cook. You know, if you don’t watch them they don’t get done. ;)

Another friend walks up and comes up with this immensely clever line:

“How many programmers does it take to grill hamburgers?”. (I should mention said friend is a salesman. :P )

My first reaction is to offer a mocking half-laugh at this ‘joke’ (though admittedly, most of my jokes are worse). However, the programmer in me can’t resist the challenge of providing a technically correct answer.

“1″… Even though there are clearly two of us standing there.

From the salesman I receive a confused look and a “Huh?”. Moments later, my programmer friend starts laughing.

The salesman asks “What, is that some inside joke or something?”

The griller explains. “Let’s say you have an array of 10 numbers. You would expect them to be numbered 1 through 10. But the computer will number them 0 through 9 instead.”

I’m not sure if the next look from my salesman friend was more confusion, disgust, or some potent mixture of both. ;)

something i found on the internet

slavik262

11-03-2008 18:22

Re: Programming jokes

A joke based on arrays. Now I've seen everything.

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