Chief Delphi - Dealing with disapointments

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Chief Delphi (http://www.chiefdelphi.com/forums/index.php)

- General Forum (http://www.chiefdelphi.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=16)

- - Dealing with disapointments (http://www.chiefdelphi.com/forums/showthread.php?t=76907)

Daniel_LaFleur

27-10-2010 20:01

Re: Dealing with disapointments

Quote:

Originally Posted by pSYeNCe (Post 978666)

Well then, I have a question for you all.

My disappointment this year is that my mother banned me from FIRST. Her reason is one I can't talk about here, but I assure you it's not sound. My FIRST team meant everything to me and I dedicated tons of time to it, and made some of the best memories of my life at meetings and (especially) competitions. I had intended on making two more years of memories, too (Junior here).

How am I to do better/deal/change her mind? I've tried convincing her and she won't budge, and we just don't have anything else like FIRST around here. Everyone here knows how exhilarating it is being on a team. I'm sure you can understand my frustration.

(I realize the topic here has been on competition disappointment, but *technically* the subject of the first post just said "Dealing with disappointments" :) )

Because we don't know the reason, we cannot directly answer your question. That said, I can give you some advice about dealing with people when they obstruct you from your goals. Most times the person obstructing you believe they are the right thing and their job. Calling their decision/reason not sound is counterproductive (and probably unwise).

Instead you should start asking questions about their reasoning. Questions like ... "What are your concerns?" or "what do I need to do to be able to do this" ... etc. Approach their decision from a rational point of view.

Remember: Sometimes brick walls are put there to see how much you really want something

artdutra04

28-10-2010 01:04

Re: Dealing with disapointments

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daniel_LaFleur (Post 978681)

Remember: Sometimes brick walls are put there to see how much you really want something

It's true. Neighbors install fences just to ensure that only industrious kids get their frisbees or balls back.

We even figured out how to get over an electric fence with lawn chairs.

Al Skierkiewicz

28-10-2010 07:42

Re: Dealing with disapointments

Quote:

Originally Posted by pSYeNCe (Post 978666)

My disappointment this year is that my mother banned me from FIRST. Her reason is one I can't talk about here, but I assure you it's not sound.

James,
I am guessing that it is sound. It may not appear that way to you but parents have this funny way of knowing what's best at a particular point in time. Fix the problem and the rest will fall into place. For all that First is, it is secondary to other things in your life that should be important. We tell our students that family is first, school is second, family needs and directives (church, scouting, taking care of family members, work, etc.) are third and everything else comes after that including First. Does your school adviser/lead teacher/counselor know of the problem? Have they discussed this with your parents?

Taylor

28-10-2010 08:10

Re: Dealing with disapointments

Quote:

Originally Posted by pSYeNCe (Post 978666)

Well then, I have a question for you all.

My disappointment this year is that my mother banned me from FIRST. Her reason is one I can't talk about here, but I assure you it's not sound.

Sounds like a problem for FAHA. This is an underutilized resource (much like UFH and many others) that Chief Delphi provides.

Brandon Holley

28-10-2010 08:53

Re: Dealing with disapointments

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taylor (Post 978742)

Sounds like a problem for FAHA. This is an underutilized resource (much like UFH and many others) that Chief Delphi provides.

May be a tad late for this one, but definitely in the future.

Alan Anderson

28-10-2010 10:39

Re: Dealing with disapointments

Quote:

Originally Posted by pSYeNCe (Post 978666)

My disappointment this year is that my mother banned me from FIRST....How am I to do better/deal/change her mind? I've tried convincing her and she won't budge,...

Use team mentors and/or school counselors as a resource. Find another adult who can discuss the situation with your mother. Definitely don't treat it as a fight, and even try not to think of it as one side against another.

As Al points out, there probably is a good reason. Something isn't wrong or unjust simply because you disagree with it.

DonRotolo

28-10-2010 21:50

Re: Dealing with disapointments

Quote:

Originally Posted by pSYeNCe (Post 978666)

but I assure you it's not sound.

Like Al and Alan, I'm going to wait to hear HER side of that before I accept any assurances. In any case, it surely can be disappointing when things don't work out to one's liking.

Yes, identifying her concerns is a good step, so at least you can address them by your actions. But beware: Once you know the concerns, you may need to demonstrate that you have addressed these concerns immediately and for a sustained period. Translation: It might take more than a year of doing things very, very differently than before, but unless you can, maybe she has a valid point??

Quote:

Originally Posted by artdutra04 (Post 978730)

We even figured out how to get over an electric fence with lawn chairs.

Now that's just silly. Who would build a fence with lawn chairs and then electrify it? :p

pSYeNCe

29-10-2010 22:37

Re: Dealing with disapointments

Quote:

Originally Posted by Don Rotolo (Post 978848)

Now that's just silly. Who would build a fence with lawn chairs and then electrify it? :p

I *really* think that got messed up somewhere along the line :P

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taylor (Post 978742)

Sounds like a problem for FAHA. This is an underutilized resource (much like UFH and many others) that Chief Delphi provides.

Thank you, I was unaware of this resource. If I had known about it I would've posted it there instead. Sorry for the inadvertent unrelatedness :|

I'd consider the topic of my complaint closed here.

Chris is me

31-10-2010 13:27

Re: Dealing with disapointments

above post reported, though i did get a kick out of "wildstang" being from canada :P

Al Skierkiewicz

01-11-2010 07:39

Re: Dealing with disapointments

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris is me (Post 979063)

above post reported, though i did get a kick out of "wildstang" being from canada :P

Should I be flattered that they copied my post from earlier in the thread?!?

Jon236

27-11-2010 11:43

Re: Dealing with disapointments

Has anyone see this article about Team 1432's struggles at Franklin High in the Portland area?

http://www.thebeenews.com/news/story...22143848652900

rcmolloy

27-11-2010 12:03

Re: Dealing with disapointments

Jon,

I'm really not suprised that many teams are going through tough times right now with cut backs. I know that our team is trying to help team 87 revitalize and get them into the competitions this year. RVR's sponsoring high school basically took all their funds and told them to sort the problems out. The unfortunate thing for all of us in NJ is that were taking a huge hit just from the cutbacks.

I'm sure that we will get the team back on track but it may take a few years until they situate themselves again.

Jon236

27-11-2010 12:08

Re: Dealing with disapointments

It seems the issue there was a lack of a responsible 'staff' member.....they had funds raised; they just lacked school support.

Ether

27-11-2010 12:16

Re: Dealing with disapointments

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jon236 (Post 982143)

It seems the issue there was a lack of a responsible 'staff' member.....they had funds raised; they just lacked school support.

The tone of the article gave the impression that the problem runs much deeper than merely "lack of support". It sounds like the school (or the principal at least) is openly hostile. It's bizarre. There must be more to this story.

Jon236

27-11-2010 12:54

Re: Dealing with disapointments

I agree. Another reason for teams to solicit support from their local Boards of Education. In Lyme-Old Lyme, the Ticks even had 3 Board members with kids on the team, including the Chairwoman. Our concept of 'infection' with FIRST went beyond the HS Principal, to include the BOE and local town organizations, such as the Lion's Club. It never hurts to have too many friends, especially in high places.

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