Thanks to all so far for providing help. Jordan is the hardest-working programming student we have in these here parts, and he's learned far more about LabVIEW than I'd ever care to learn. I'm expecting him to teach me and other NEOFRA students and mentors this offseason, once he's done figuring it all out.
Until then, I shall remain comfortably in my faster compile and download C++ fantasy land! Tra la la....