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Re: Can you Review 3337s Sponsorship Packet?
I agree with Grim - move the stuff about FIRST to close to the beginning. Talk about FIRST in general before going into detail about your team.
Issues:
FIRST must always be italicized.
Most modern American English conventions say that you should use a comma before the 'and' in lists of three or more. I only looked at a couple pages, but in the last paragraph of the executive summary, you don't.
Also, I love how it's the "Executive" summary. Makes it sound like you're doing something special just for them.
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Last edited by quinxorin : 04-09-2011 at 22:39.
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