A couple things, more related to the presentation than to the content—because it's definitely a useful video tutorial.
- A quick summary at the beginning, maybe with 5 stills/clips in 15 seconds and a quick voiceover. That way we know what to expect. Something like:
- This video will guide you through the assembly of a CAN cable for use with the 2CAN communications module, Jaguar speed controller and other compatible CAN bus equipment.
- Cut the cable to length and strip the wires.
- Insert the wire, select the polarity and crimp the connector.
- Test the cable to make sure it works.
- [Demonstration of it in action]
- Title of the video should probably say something about RJ-11 and FRC (or 2CAN, or something). Most industrial CAN cables don't use that connector, so this might be confusing for the general public.
- Your little lightbox is neat....but it's too small, and so some things were too close to the camera. You managed to get some of the demonstrations outside of the frame.
- A little too long. 8 min would be more effective than nearly 12 min.
- Maybe include a summary in the description text field. You could even include your entire script, if you really wanted—but at minimum a summary of the steps and a link to your website.
- Include a title card somewhere identifying the video and the company. (That way, if it ever gets separated from YouTube, such as in an embedded player, it's still obvious whose video it is.)
- Say something about the difference between insulation-displacement connectors and ones where you need to strip wires individually.
- Mention the tradeoffs between cost and quality for connector type (e.g. w/r/t conductor plating). (You brought up gold; didn't mention alternatives.)
- Maybe show a quick example of how to assemble the termination resistor that fits in the back of an RJ-11 housing, and explain the choice of resistance.
Now that you've had one shot at it, and have a script, and know what motions to go through, would you be opposed to re-shooting it? I think you could refine it by shortening it quite a bit with cuts instead of a continuous shot. Voiceover can be used to tie cuts together.
Normally I wouldn't worry about this stuff—because honestly, it's quite sufficient—but since this is a commercial venture, it probably pays to be just a little more polished with it.