ok.
First, is there even a website design award? - I've never heard of that. But... if their is, then wayyyyyy cool!
With boards, if you would like to make your own then go ahead! Whatever you make, it will definatly go with your site better, but something like phpBB has tons more features than you will ever be able to creat. (PS: Unless you want to spend $$, go with phpBB. You will need to install a few mods (like attachment), but other than that, it's the best free BB out there. Also, in a few months phpBB 2.1-2 will be out which will be
very cool)
Also, go with PHP.
(Personally, that's what i use. All I knew before was vb, and i learned php in 2 months (to a very good usage).) A good book, especially for forums / db is PHP and MySQL Web Development. - Welling and Thomson. It's a little more avdanced book, but if you are good a looking at an example and learning from that, this book is it. It has a bunch of 'starter' real-life examples like a shoping cart and other stuff.
With the Flash / other. Personally, i have a 56k. (We get our dial-up free, and my dad won't pay for it, and i'm trying to save for a car, so i can't give out $30 / month
) But, don't feel like you need to make so that all can view your site. All i would recommend is that you use some type of intro, with a link to skip it, and then use the rest with good tast thought your site.