Quote:
Originally Posted by Katie_UPS
After reading all of this though, I now wonder what effect I have on younger girls that I see/mentor. As someone who would like to be a positive role model, I wonder if I am having a positive effect. Am I too girly? Not girly enough? Am I giving girls in engineering a bad name?
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Whoa, don't drive yourself crazy! Your job is simply to do what you do best as well as you can.
None of us can inspire EVERYONE, but our hope is to inspire SOMEONE. There may be some aspiring PhD's who will be turned off by my decision not to strive for the highest level (but I hope that there are other PhD women out there to inspire them). And there may be others who see my situation who might think, "I could never get a PhD, but I can still be involved in STEM and have a family like her." STEM is not one-size fits all, and the more options we can demonstrate to others, the wider reach we'll have. Our job is not to be the "perfect STEM model", but to demonstrate one of many possible options. The last thing we want to do is give the impression that this is the "right" or "only" way to do it.
If we operate with integrity and dedication, I don't think we have to worry about turning people off, even if they choose to go in a different direction than we do. The biggest potential turn-offs:
1. Using femininity to unfair advantage. One of my engineering profs had a policy of no make-up exams, stated clearly on the syllabus. A female student went into his office, scantily clad, and was able to obtain a make-up exam, after a number of male students had made the same request just minutes before and been rejected. That action caused much grumbling among male (and other female) students.
2. Having an inflated idea of one's abilities, and expecting special privileges because we're girls. A female student scoring the 650 on her math SAT was surprised to be rejected from MIT because "650 is a great score for a girl." But it's not a great score for an MIT engineering applicant.
Whether you're "too girly" or "not girly enough" won't be the pivotal issue. Most essentially, do you enjoy engineering, and are you good at one or more aspects of it? If your character and your passion for the subject are genuine, the other pieces naturally will fall into place.