Quote:
Originally Posted by Akash Rastogi
I think this is a pretty difficult thing for many people to do, perhaps especially younger mentors. Expressing disappointment is only effective, in my opinion, when the students actually respect you. I know a few young mentors my age who can't use this tactic because the students don't respect them. I was lucky enough to have very respectful students, so it wasn't an issue for me, but what about when a mentor isn't respected by the students?
Might be a topic for another thread, but how do you get students to respect you? What might be some causes of this? Is it strictly because of the young age? Is it just on a student by student case?
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I think you're right about disappointment being contingent on respect, but respect is definitely not an age issue. Somewhat of a time issue, but not an age issue.
I think this goes back to the OP of the thread as well. I consider respect as earned student by student, but in many cases they seek the same attributes, albeit possibly proven in different ways. There's always a few exceptions, but I find people will almost universally respect you if you consistently:
- Respect and care about them, and everyone around them
- Offer them a real stake and influence in your collaboration
- Build mutual trust and honest two-way communication
- Demonstrate your own competence and confidence
- Prove that what you're competent in (and trying to teach) is of value
- Show you practice what you preach
While I have to do/demonstrate these differently for different students--and accept different demonstrations than some of my peers--I feel like a lot of what students of all ages look for falls in or near these categories somehow.
EDIT: I realized this could come across as indicating that people asking this question aren't component, confident, respectful, etc. Definitely not what I meant. So much is in how you demonstrate it (I'm definitely not perfect). Although I think having self-confidence that you'll be able to gain respect (if you do the right thing) is valuable in itself.