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I agree that "In remebrance of..." looks better, but I think the font in the first one was better, as the intricate one looks like something that would be used in a cheesy horror movie. If you want any more advice from someone who doesn"t have enough initiative to go edit the image themselves, I would suggest changing the font colot to something darker. Red contrasts nicely for most of it, but a darker color that still contrasted (like navy blue would be good) and having the mission logo less faded would be cool too.
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