Alright, this thread will now derail from programming to electrical.
The relay board seems to not be functioning.
First I tried hooking up the output for a sole relay (with a transistor) on pin 8 to test it with the existing code posted above. No cigar. I flipped the direction of the transistor in hopes I placed it backwards. Nothing. (keep in mind the VCC and ground pins were indeed hooked up to the +5V and GND pins of the Arduino).
Then I tried hooking that relay's input pin directly to the Arduino's +5V pin (using the + on a breadboard). Nothing then, either.
I then proceeded to hook all of the inputs from the relay board to the +5V, and none of them worked.
(if needed, this is the link to the manufacturer's website and my product)