[Kiwi_queen]

here's one for Mr. C!

A mushroom walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve food here".
The mushroom walks into another bar and asks the bartender for a drink. This one just says "No". The mushroom asks, "Why not? I'm a fungi!" (fun guy)

ok another one.

A blonde and a brunette are sitting in a bar around 6 o'clock watching the television there. On comes the news with a report about a guy who's threatening to jump off the top of a bridge. The brunette bets the blonde that the guy's gonna jump and the blonde accepts. Not two seconds later, the guy jumps and so the blonde pays up.
The two continue drinking, but after a bit the brunette feels a bit wrong. She places the money in front of the blonde and says "Here, keep this. I must confess, I already saw this on the 4 o'clock news"
The blonde gives the money back to the brunette and says "No. You keep the money. I saw the 4 o'clock news too. I just didn't think he'd do it again!"

~and there's plenty more where that came from! ;o)