[Mark Hamilton]

I couldnt remember these two well enough so I hade to look them up on the internet but here goes:
"An engineer, a scientist and a mathematician are placed in a room across from a beautiful girl and are told that every 10 seconds a bell will ring, and that each time it rings they may advance half the distance to the girl. The scientist and the mathematician laugh at this, and when the bell rings only the engineer advances toward the girl. The scientist and the mathematician laugh and scoff at the engineer's foolishness, and after the bell has rung a few more times finally call to him, "Don't you know you'll never get there."

"I know," replied the engineer, "but very soon I'll be so close as to make no difference.""

"An engineer, a scientist and a mathematician are spending the night in a hotel room. During the night the wastebasket catches on fire. The engineer wakes up, sees the fire, runs to the bathroom, fills a glass with water, dumps it on the fire and goes back to sleep.

A little later the wastebasket catches on fire again. This time the scientist wakes up, sees the fire, scribbles equations furiously on a piece of paper for a minute, runs to the bathroom, fills a glass with water, dumps it on the fire and goes back to sleep.

A little later the wastebasket catches on fire once again. This time the mathematician wakes up, sees the fire, scribbles equations furiously on a piece of paper for a minute, shouts, "Aha! A solution exists," and goes back to sleep."