[Oblarg]

There's a difference between being direct and being unpleasant. I know that I certainly have learned a lot about where the line between the two falls over the past few years, and I certainly have lots more to learn (as do most people, I think).

The key, I think, is to remember that no matter how much you disagree with someone else, they likely are posting in good faith and share many of the values you do. One can disagree strongly without being alienating if they keep this in mind. The purpose of a forum is for honest discourse for the betterment of all involved - if we all agreed about everything, there would be nothing to discuss. The exchange of ideas can only remain productive if both sides maintain the willingness to critically evaluate their own views in light of what other people say - when someone feels attacked, that willingness tends to evaporate, and the discussion ceases to be useful (and, often, enjoyable).

One habit I have tried to get into is intentionally softening my posts before I click "submit." Remove superlatives, qualify opinions, and the like. It can go a long way towards keeping a discussion productive.