Why the *%$#@&#(*$ code wont work:
'Anything that happens, happens.
Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen.
Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, causes itself to happen again.
It doesnt necesarily do it in chronological order, though.'
-Douglas Adams
And of course, in a 8x8 pit area, 'too many cooks in the kitchen ruin the meal'