[ATannahill]

Originally Posted by MysterE

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A) Always stick together - This is not always possible but as much as they can I like students to have at least one person with them at all times. This is especially true if they are going to be outside of the arena and sometimes even if they are going to the restroom.

B) Trust your instincts - If someone is making you uncomfortable, distance yourself from them and tell one of your mentors. While a mentor may not be able to directly deal with someone who is making a student feel uncomfortable, they can be made more aware of the situation and help mitigate in whatever way possible.

C) Always Inform - If something happens, whether it be an altercation with a student or an adult, never be afraid to tell a mentor. We always have both male and female mentors or parent volunteers available at each competition. If someone does something that you feel is inappropriate, you should never feel embarrassed to let us know.

D) And lastly - Embarrassment can save your life. This is perhaps the most difficult yet the most effective form of safety. If someone will not leave you alone, get loud and do whatever you can to get out of the situation. It doesn't matter if you are wrong or right because trusting your instincts is always better than not. What I told the person who was dealing with the adult in the stands was that next time they needed to step aside and allow the person to go ahead of them. If that did not work they needed to look at the person and in a firm and loud voice they needed to say "You are making me uncomfortable, please leave me alone."

Generally this will deter anyone who is being overly creepy - especially as many people don't even recognize they are doing it. If not, or if they try to hold a conversation, repeat the phrase but louder. At some point, someone else will notice and should help. As a last result - you yell. Yes, it may be embarrassing to you, but it will also call attention to what is going on.

Public embarrassment can be very detrimental to teenagers, especially when it is in regards to socially awkward students interacting with the other gender. B and C should come before D if it is at all possible. As you stated, people who are being creepy are often not aware of it and should be told in a constructive way by someone that they trust. Mechvet has posted how to handle this conversation.

Originally Posted by Mechvet

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To refer to your specific case, pulling the (male) student aside, and having a talk about how his actions are perceived can do him a lot of good, as well as remove the negative situation for the female student. The exact phrasing here is something you've got to CAREFULLY consider. Crushing the student's expression of affection isn't the goal. The goal is to explain that another person isn't perceiving their affection the same way, as well as to put into context the professional manner in which the student SHOULD act.

In summary, sometimes telling someone they're not acting right is what needs to be done. It's not a natural feeling, but it gets easier over time.