Quote:
Originally Posted by Amanda Morrison
I thought about it for a while, and yes, I think these are two of the most potentially harmful things I have ever read on this forum. In 15 years, that is quite a feat.
You've made a few key mistakes here, such as:
- lumping in all females into one large group together without taking almost infinite factors into account (race, gender, height, weight, background, communication methods, invisible illnesses, etc.),
- trivializing seriously disturbing behavior toward women,
- speaking on behalf of women, all women! women everywhere! every single woman!, without discernable qualifications, and perhaps most important,
- deciding that the way women deal with situations is a woman's responsibility, but others' behavior is not their own responsibility
This kind of thinking creates a cyclical culture of alienating women from a community and then wondering why more women don't want to join that community. Trivializing anyone's experiences - of any gender - does nothing to help but does repeat that pattern, and in this way it is harmful. Thinking like this is why women are discouraged from STEM. Thinking like this is why women don't speak up. I say that because as a student way back when, hearing/seeing my mentors or peers speaking like this would have immediately shut me off from this program. Immediately.
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To start I am going to remark that, that first statement was unnecessary.
What does (race, height, weight, background, communication methods, invisible illnesses, etc.) have to do with anything?
Are you calling awkward flirting "seriously disturbing?"
I would also like to remark that we are speaking purely hypothetically no specific occurrences were mentioned.
I am going to give some experience not mine but of one of my female friends on our team.
At the NYC regional she was constantly for lack of better words hit on. She had 5 guys ask for her number 2 not even from the United States. She even had one buy her Starbucks. During the event she found everyone to be respectful following the same limits they would in regular life. After the event one of them got slightly creepy and she simply told him she had no feelings for him and he respected that. Awkward situations can make someone uncomfortable but it does not mean that they are necessarily wrong.
Unless a member goes above normal social limits IE touching the said member in an inappropriate way, stalking said member, or continuously making a member uncomfortable mentors getting involved especially older ones will mostly make the situation worse embarrassing both parties involved.
Also, I never spoke on behalf of woman.
You are completely taking both of these statements out of proportion and forcing words into both of our mouths.