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Unread 13-04-2016, 01:05
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Alan Anderson Alan Anderson is offline
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Re: Making STEM a better place for women

Quote:
Originally Posted by rtfgnow View Post
For example, some people like giving and getting hugs. As a student I was not a fan of physical contact, people have told me that my personal bubble was armed with machine guns. I have since loosened up and am more comfortable with people I know but I still would not hug a stranger. When there is an interaction between someone that is fine with hugging new people and the kind of person I was in high school, there is friction. The important thing to remember is that both people are in the right. They are allowed to be comfortable with their own actions and they have the responsibility to respect the other's preferences.
Hugging someone who does not want to be hugged should not be a "comfortable" action. The hugger in that case is not in the right. The huggee is not responsible for respecting the hugger's preference to give the hug.



What you are saying sounds disturbingly close to the idea that rejecting an advance can be considered an attack. I'm sure you don't think that's how you said it, but as a hug-averse person myself, I have had to threaten more than one team mascot with an official complaint when they refuse to accept that I do not want to be touched, much less hugged. The all-too-common reaction is to accuse me of being mean to them.
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