Quote:
Originally Posted by MariOlsen
What about mentors hugging students (or students hugging mentors)? I feel like most people would say that mentors ought not to initiate a hug, but what about accepting one? I hug as a form of greeting if I feel comfortable with someone, but some of my mentors refused to let me hug them until I graduated. I understand that hugs may be misinterpreted and thus are probably best avoided, but it still makes me a bit sad.
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As a general rule I avoid it as much as possible with current students. I do make exceptions for special circumstances - dean's list finalists/winners get a hug when they get their award, and everyone on the team gave me a hug when I got WFFA (and according to one of my students, I looked super awkward the whole time). Returning graduates usually get a hug when I see them - always initiated by them, but understandable when you don't see someone for the better part of a year.
Let's keep in mind with this thread that, while I'm certainly aware there are certainly plenty of problems caused by guys, some of them are caused by girls reactions. Some girls are naturally more open and outgoing, which guys can interpret as "flirty" if they wish, and so how a girl interacts with a guy may unintentionally lead him on. I had one incident with a student this year that reportedly have a guy her number at a competition. When asked about it, she said she gave him a wrong number when he asked for it(yes, we've all seen that on TV). I took the time to explain to her how that sends the wrong message - it encourages his attention for the rest of the event, and lets him down hard later on when he realizes. It's much more appropriate and professional to say "i'm sorry, but I'm not interested", or if you refer, "i'm sorry, but that's against team rules" (which it actually is for our team). Be direct, be honest, and be professional about it. There's no need to make a big scene or to put up with unwanted attention (in either direction) because you don't want to address the issue.