Quote:
Originally Posted by Taylor
This struggle is real. What worked with us is we told our students that for liability reasons, we're assigning rooms by biology. When it was laid out that way, they were pretty accepting.
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This doesn't really work.
Full disclosure: I'm a MTF Transgender person, and have been open about it for almost a year now. This year, when it came to room arrangements, I was left with an interesting predicament.
Who did I want to stay with? A friend of mine, who happens to be a girl and has helped me greatly through my transition and life in general.
Could I stay with her? No, because I wasn't
biologically the same gender as her.
Could I stay with the boys, like last year? No, because I'm a girl.
Could I stay with the mentors maybe? No, because I'm under 18.
So what was left? Well, staying in a room on my own. For 5 nights, in a 2 person room all to myself.
I had a chat with people from the higher up administration and legal departments of our educational institution. In essence, what they told me was:
"You can't change who you are. Just because you don't fit into one of our boxes doesn't mean we're going to force you to."
The Australian department of education's laws defining room arrangements on school trips has a good way of dealing with situations like mine, and I am fairly certain the same system is employed in the US, although you will have to do some research of your own to confirm that. Basically, you can stay with
pretty much anyone in your rough age group (i.e. both under 18, or one under 18 and one above 18 if you've known each other closely for more than 2 years) as long as the following conditions are met:
1) All people(s) staying together agree to it
2) All people(s) staying together's parents agree to it
3) Parents agree on the rules that
they set out (i.e. no exposure, sleep in different beds, whatever they deem necessary)
4) Students agree to follow these rules and know that if any of them are broken, what the consequences are.
5) None of it is illegal
Ultimately, parents and legal guardians have the final say as long as an agreement is met.
Because of this, I was able to stay with my friend. Everything was fine, we were both happy, and no one was inconvenienced in the slightest.
As soon as you say "well, let's just say it's for liability, they'll understand", you're forcing them to fit into your boxes, which can be extremely damaging to students who don't really fit in the pink or blue boxes, or who desire to fit into the opposite. I'd suggest looking into the actual laws in your country regarding this, because I can promise that if you take the time out to do it, you'll be actively improving the life and confidence of your students, which is what being a mentor is all about.
EDIT: Just to cover all my bases, just remember that this is me sharing my experience. By no means should you take legal advice from me, make sure to do your own research just in case.