All of the above replies are very good. I'm going to go in a bit of a different direction.
I think that you need to reach out to people in your area for help. You can find RD's, Senior Mentors, and VISTAs
here.
I completely understand why you feel the need to post anonymously on Chief Delphi. It's a bit like cruising WebMD when you think you're sick. The much more difficult thing to do (at least for me), is to actually face the problem in person and go to the doctor. They may not tell you what you want to hear. They will tell you what you need to hear.
I think that someone external to the team who has experience with teams that operate in many different fashions could come in and help.
Good luck!