I didn't see the Dean's List Ceremony in-person or on the webcast... But I do find it troubling that Dean, Woodie, and Don would have greeted all the young men with handshakes and all the young women with hugs. I'd prefer for them to standardize on handshakes all around... except for the young Dean's List Winner that is just hurrying up with outstretched arms when pretty much the only reaction could be to respond with a hug.
I very much agree with Mike, Andy, and Libby's comments below... some lines bolded for emphasis.
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Originally Posted by Michael Corsetto
The way Dean, Woodie and Don greeted the 2016 Dean's List Finalists irked my wife and I as well.
I'm not usually vocal around these topics, but when you greet 20 young professionals in a row, I believe a handshake is the baseline, acceptable way to convey appreciation and recognition.
That said, some students may have an overwhelming sense of jubilation, which prompts them to initiate some sort of less-than-professional (but still authentic) expression such as a hug. That is great!
The issue was, women got the default arms out for a hug from Dean, while men got the hand stretched out for a shake.
Also, as a YPP trained professional, I work to avoid "frontal hugging", especially with young women, and especially with young women I do not know. I would certainly not be the one to intiate the hug in front of many other mentors and students.
This is not your uncle hugging their niece. These are professionals congratulating young professionals on their accomplishments. It should be treated as such, and serve as a model to all the mentors and students watching the ceremony.
-Mike
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Originally Posted by Andy Baker
Well said, Mike. I noticed it too, as did some other mentors I was discussing this with. This hugging of the Dean's list girls and shaking hands with the boys was very uncomfortable.
For me, if I greet a boy or man, it's not too hard to know if we are gonna hug or not. I am very comfortable hugging a man, especially if he is my friend.
If the other person is a boy, girl, or woman, I wait to take their cue if the greeting will be a hug or not. It depends on the situation and relationship. I definitely should not expect or initiate a hug when greeting a female colleague.
I agree that this is not a trivial issue.
Andy B.
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Originally Posted by Libby K
Well said. The 'frontal hugging' is something any sensible mentor knows isn't something we should be initiating, so why are the adults up on stage doing it?
It bothers me too. It happens with Male vs. Female VIPS/speakers as well.
I don't think that it's any sort of intentional slight or conscious choice by Dean, Don or Woodie - but as others have said earlier in the thread, it's just the way they've been taught to interact throughout their lives. Not trying to make an excuse... the behavior should change. It may truly be something they've never even thought about.
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I've been very close with quite a few 1519 students, current and past... I would only hug the students if 1) it was after a particularly big win or award (and even then, I definitely wouldn't initiate it with younger students, particularly girls), 2) if they were alumni I hadn't seen in a long time or who had been more of a peer, or 3) if it were my sister. I'm an enthusiastic person who doesn't shy away from hugging people, but initiating hugs just isn't something we should be doing... particularly given the YPP. If we - who are building up long-lasting, close relationships - should avoid them, how much more should Dean, Don, Woodie or other award-giving speakers avoid it?
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Originally Posted by Madison
I think there are a few things here that merit discussion.
(1) Do you view the relationship between students and mentors as a professional relationship?
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It is first and foremost a professional/academic relationship. It will (and should) be a relationship that builds in depth over time, but it should never be viewed more as "buddies" or "friends" than as a professional/academic relationship.
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Originally Posted by Madison
(2) Do you view the relationship between students and sponsors as a professional relationship?
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Definitely.
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Originally Posted by Madison
(3) Do you believe that a hug is an appropriate gesture between two people in a professional relationship?
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Not if the relationship is exclusively professional... it would be fine with co-workers who are particularly close friends though.
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Originally Posted by Madison
(4) Do you believe that FIRST's response to concern about these topics, as raised by a team member, was appropriately professional?
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Not particularly, no.
These questions (particularly #1 and #3) got me thinking a little... a big distinction between hugging in a professional environment with co-workers and hugging in an FRC environment is that the former is generally peer interaction, whereas mentors in FRC are dealing with minors (and generally are more of an authority figure).