Quote:
Originally Posted by The Swaggy P
I would like to also point out here, specifically to the people who are flaming & bashing me, rather than trying to talk reasonably about my posts, that I, as a boy/man/male (whichever you prefer), have been discriminated against multiple times in High School.
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Discrimination is rough, and I am sorry that you have had to experience it. It sounds like your father got an even more impactful dose. It might be good to think how those experiences have shaped your viewpoint of discrimination. Have they made you more empathetic to others experiencing discrimination in other areas, or have they hardened you and in turn make you feel like others should "toughen up"? Experiences like you have had can really make a person go either direction. Not that either direction is necessarily wrong, but it is important to be mindful of how they will influence your personal perception and in turn expressed viewpoints.
I used to PM a lot of students on posts like your previous few posts to be very mindful of "tone" or "wording" when getting into controversial subjects. In most case I would have hoped it would be considered as coaching, but giving someone a warning that they are headed into trouble may sometimes be taken the wrong way. After reading through YPP documentation, I now usually refrain from PMs unless I know they are a mentor or the discussion is purely technical in nature.
I am saddened that you feel threatened. Reading through this post, I see several folks that I have a ton of respect for being pretty harsh in their return commentary. I suspect that if some of them re-read their wording, they may realize why you are feeling threatened.
Because of the aforementioned concern regarding PMs, I would like to give this advice more openly:
If/when taking a position that you feel will likely be met with controversy be very careful of your wording. A good rule of thumb is, if I need an anonymous or relatively anonymous account to make your message, think very hard about what you are hoping to foster. Example: If you have health concerns because someone's baby looks ill, you wouldn't approach them with: Hey that's an ugly baby, is something wrong with it, or does it just look that way.
With controversy, try to avoid humor which does not translate well in text based communication and can often be misconstrued. Humor often works well in a personal conversation, but it is troublesome in written communication that is not story telling. This is especially true of sarcasm.
"Tone" via email or message boards can be very difficult to read. Folks may read into things incorrectly (from your perspective) as they read your post with a different tone than you intended. I personally had an issue with this a few months back with a work related email where I was frustrated, and my frustration came across as insulting and condescending. That was not my intent, and because I was expressing frustration, I actually had management review the note before sending it (and they approved it), but it still resulted in someone being offended and me writing a written apology*.
I would suggest sticking to some technical discussions. It looks as though you have some good posts in those areas. Keep working on your writing style. Not that I don't think your viewpoints or opinions merit discussion, but I as you can see, controversial viewpoints can get you lit up pretty quickly.
*An important thing to understand is that a persons perception is their reality. You may not intend to offend, but if they are offended, they are offended. An apology can be very beneficial as a starting point to have further discussion.
I would also hope that folks that may have threatened you might do the same.