[Jon Stratis]

As great as FRC is, we still have our fair share of jerks (I really want to use a stronger term here), just like any other large organization. Dealing with them can be really tough, and when needed getting them out of the program can sometimes be even tougher.

My advice is going to be split into two parts. First the inter-personal stuff, and second the structural team stuff.

It sounds like you need to "bite the bullet" and open up with your former teammates some. I would start with the other girls, as it sounds like they know a bit of what you were going through already, and have been through it themselves. You'll likely find sympathetic ears there, and it'll help you build confidence and comfort in talking about it so you can then approach others on the team. It's not easy, and you'll probably run into some people with bad attitudes, but at least at the end you'll know you did everything you can to stay friends with everyone.

On more structural stuff, the easy path is to create a new team, with the goal of being more inclusive and less discriminatory. The harder path is to work to reform your old team. Of course, the easiest path is to quit altogether.

There's no easy way to create a new team without there being bad feelings. Being geographically on top of each other, your new team would be competing with the old for students, sponsors, and everything else, and if you create the new team by causing a mass exodus of girls from the old team, the old team is bound to feel a little bitter.

I would urge you to tackle the harder path, and work towards reforming your old team. You mentioned the lead mentor a few times, what about other mentors? Are they more receptive? Are there other mentors you can talk to about this issue? How is the team set up - community based, school based? If it's a school based team, you have a whole administration at the school you can talk to about the problems you face, and hopefully they would be receptive. If the team is school based, the school administration really has the ultimate authority, even above the lead mentor. Look to other successful teams in your area, especially those with girls involved in strong build-related leadership roles. See if you can't arrange for them to come talk with the girls on your team about their experiences, how they got into those rolls, and how they deal with boys that can, at times, act more like trolls.

Whatever path you take, the key to being successful is going to be building up a support network for yourself, which means tackling the inter-personal stuff with your former teammates. And that's all about talking, being open and honest. Reinforce with those people that you still like them, that you want to stay friends - and then follow it up with actions, like inviting them out for a pool party (if it's anywhere near as hot as it's been here in MN lately!), or ice cream, or a movie, or to hunt Pokemon in the park. Keep those connections alive and active despite not seeing them at team meetings all the time.