[mastachyra]

Commence Round 1!

As described by FrankJ, STEAMPUNK WOODIE FLOWERS sabotaged initial event registration! HAHA! He hates FRC more than you ever imagined!!!
FIRST IT scrambles to repair the damage so FRC can continue.
Health = 10,000

EricH REVOKES STEAMPUNK WOODIE FLOWERS's Woodie Flowers Award.
STEAMPUNK WOODIE FLOWERS hangs his head in shame.
Confidence hit = -100 HP
Health = 9,900

WinterPoet mocks STEAMPUNK WOODIE FLOWERS for out of date ringtones!
STEAMPUNK WOODIE FLOWERS replies, "Does your feeble cranium not understand steampunk!? People in a Victorian era apocalypse would be amazed at the wonderment of my ringtones!!!"
Mock attack = BLOCKED
Health = 9,900

Sparky Jell-o steals STEAMPUNK WOODIE FLOWERS's hairband. He is blinded and trips, cracking an integral structural member near his knee. Long tousled hair and all, he arises ready for battle.
Trip attack = -800
Health = 9,100

Taylor ties STEAMPUNK WOODIE FLOWERS's Chucks to a trident. "Summoning Shiva? Yes! Finally a challenge! Now you understand the power of STEAMPUNK WOODIE FLOWERS!!!"
Trident tomfoolery = -300
Health = 8,800

Ryan_Todd uses a 15" 3D printed crescent wrench to disable STEAMPUNK WOODIE FLOWERS's primary steam supply. Only a few nuts and bolts can be loosened before the wrench breaks.
Plastic Punishment = -1500
Health = 7,300

EricH may only attack once per round!

STEAMPUNK WOODIE FLOWERS is disabled but...

In a bout of confusion FIRST IT repairs STEAMPUNK WOODIE FLOWERS's primary steam supply! The wasted time causes FIRST to push initial event registration back another week!
Circulation Correction = +1000
Health = 8,300