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Refs ARE trained before matches, they DO go to meetings to know the major rules, and have a good knowledge about what is a DQ and what isn't.
Think of it as being an umpire in a baseball game. These men and women only have a split second to decide if it is a ball or strike. There is no instant-replay, much like there isn't an instand replay in FIRST. Refs are human, they do make mistakes. I had the chance to stand in on part of the refs meeting at the 2002 IRI while I was helping there, and they are given the rules, and understand them very well.
People who complain about them don't understand how hard it is. Refs make a call based on what they see, and whatever they say usually goes. I know a few times where a score has been overturned, but usually, the refs call goes.
But remember, they are only human. Everyone makes mistakes.
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