[AlbertW]

Originally posted by dez250
as a pr person trying to reach sponsors, i know that it is a hard job to do. i am going to place this into sections and give you some constructive criticism so don't take it as an insult.

Photos: good job, it shows all around, but try to place a blurb next to or under each (1 sentence max) at what they are, meaning to the team, etc... Try to add a photo of the finished 2003 robot.

FIRST: Good job using the Description, but please add a vector image from FIRST, it is always good to display FIRST logo (if you need the vector contact me or FIRST, i have it, first will take longer to respond), maybe they have seen it before and wondered about it... Also check below in the links section.

Grammar: Good job, it looks like you have checked it over with more then just a spell checker, i didn't see any errors, but good job having others check it over.

Links: Place links for your team, first and botball or any other thing that you list in the description, so they can check it out while thinking about it.

Section use: Good job here on dividing your info into sections, maybe you should though in awards and accomplishments separate FIRST and BotBall or other organizations here. Also list if your team has received any scholarships to students and state that FIRST gives out Scholarships to active students in FIRST only.

Sponsor Section: List Link to your sponsors! Be ready to explain how much current sponsors donate and what the money is directly linked too (do not place this in the presentation though), also if you are an official registered 501c3 non-profit organization state that.

Money: Explain what you are getting for your money, like the kit of parts and how some of that is manufactured for FIRST only on a specialized basis.

Location: Also note the tools you use and where you work, if its your school a garage or an attic, they like to know this stuff.

Game: state the 6 week period from announce of project to ship, also say the game changes yearly, this really gets their attention on how limited time you have.

Overall i say you have a great item, just go through add some of the things i stated and keep the document updated, each time you make a change, save it as a new file, so you can go back to the beginning if need be.

~Mike

thanks ALOT for your input. i'm correcting typos and implementing changes right now. i'll post the updated one in a bit.